As a geriatrician in a locale with many elderly retirees, I am frequently asked how long mom or dad (or both) can stay in their home and live safely and successfully.  It is clearly a complicated issue even if the individuals involved are cognitively and mentally intact, physically capable and financially able to pay for support and help.

There is much to consider. Are the patients physically able to maneuver within their household safely?  If sleep is being interrupted constantly by the night time urge to urinate, can the patient safely navigate the trip to the bathroom without suffering a fall? If they get to the bathroom can they easily manipulate a standard toilet?   If they need to clean themselves and bathe can they get in and out of the shower or bath without falling and injuring themselves?

Fortunately there are elderly home experts who will travel to the home and evaluate it for safety.  They make an assessment and provide a written report to the patient and the ordering physician. Many of these safety personnel are specially trained home health company nurses sent into the home by the patient’s physician. In many cases, Medicare or the patients’ insurance will cover the cost of the evaluation. Once the evaluation is complete, they will suggest certified and responsible contractors to do the home safety alterations.

While our goal is always to keep the patient in their home if possible there are many issues other than the safety of the physical plant to consider. One needs to consider how much supervision and assistance the patient needs to perform their normal activities of daily living?  Can they dress and groom themselves independently?  Can they prepare meals for themselves and clean up after them?  Can they get to the store to shop for food and supplies?  Can they get to their doctors’ appointments? What happens if they become injured or ill?  Do they wear a device which allows them to call for help if they are immobile and cannot get to the phone?

The option of paying someone to care for your elderly loved one is quite expensive. It will cost a minimum of $15 per hour to supply inexpensive help. You may need more than one person so that the staff has time off for their personal needs.  Some families choose to hire a companion who in exchange for room and board supplies help and supervision. This is always risky especially if you don’t/cannot check the background of the individual you are inviting into the home.

If you can afford to pay for help and to alter the home for safety there is always the issue of socialization. Many of my patients who have lost their mates have also lost their friends. They no longer have someone or a group to pal around with.

One particularly spry 93 year old patient was still playing golf, going to the gym and aerobics class three days a week and playing cards regularly. Her golf foursome and card game participants all had passed away or moved closer to their children for support.  Although she had the finances to hire a wonderful aide around the clock she was lonely for companionship despite living in a large country club on a golf course.   She became a wonderful candidate for the correct assisted living facility with a broad range of social activities and residents of a similar age looking for companionship as well.

These are complex issues which require the assistance of the individual’s physician in most cases. It is important for the individual to choose and retain a physician who will take the time to talk to family and professionals involved in the enrichment of their lives.

Steven Reznick is an internal medicine physician and can be reached at Boca Raton Concierge Doctor.

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