Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Why I devoted my life to preventing heart disease in women

Claire Donley, DO
Physician
December 10, 2021
Share
Tweet
Share

I was a medical student learning to deliver babies, bringing new life into the world, as my mom’s life was fading away. I saw all the missed calls from Dad. I knew in my heart something terrible happened. She was in the ICU. Dad told me she had a heart attack. I flew to be with her. When I saw her unconscious on the ventilator, I started wailing. Her heart was still beating. I was holding her hand praying for her recovery, when the doctor came in and told us she was brain dead. My body began shaking uncontrollably, then came my bone-crushing cry. I had just lost my mom.

Mom, you were generous with others, not to yourself.

You’d go all out on dinner parties, especially on holidays, making sure everyone was happy and taken care of. You loved making us sausage rolls, shepherd’s pie, turkey, gravy, stuffing, vegetables not so much. Mostly heavy foods. I tried to help you eat healthy. You were in emotional pain. You wouldn’t go to doctors, so you just treated yourself with comfort food.

You loved writing personal messages on cards, even if it wasn’t a holiday. I cherish them all. You had a way with words to make me feel special. You celebrated everyone’s achievements— except your own. I heard you talk about your own shortcomings without compassion. You worked long hours, very stressed. You didn’t take care of yourself. You ate junk, didn’t exercise, and drank endless alcohol at night—habits that led to your death. You were only 59.

I want you to know I am devoting my life as a doctor to preventing heart disease in women over 50—so nobody else loses a wonderful woman like you.

I help women heal from the emotional, spiritual, and physical causes of heart pain so no other child will have to bury the vibrant, loving mother from a heart attack. I’ve been told by women that I’ve already saved their lives. Your loss fuels my passion to save families.

My life is your legacy.

If you were here, we’d be at the beach, watching sunsets and laughing uncontrollably—you are such a huge character. I’d be smiling even bigger from all your texts overflowing with hearts. You are my best friend. You visit me in my dreams. I get confused. I think you are alive —and realize you are gone.

You were so proud of me going to medical school. You died before my graduation. You weren’t here when I opened my own clinic. You won’t be with me when I get married and have kids. You won’t get to meet your grandchildren. You won’t get to read the books I write.

The last time I saw you, I was delivering babies on the Washington coast. We spent a magical week together in an Airbnb right on the beach. We held hands walking in the sand and watching sunsets every night. When I stopped by that last morning on my way to labor and delivery, you handed me a big bag of treats. Ginger-turmeric tea is my favorite. I never told you, yet I found a box in your care package. You just knew.

I will never forget hugging you goodbye. You looked like you were about to cry because you were so proud of me for welcoming babies into the world.

That next morning you never woke up.

You used to be just a phone call away. Now I can’t call you to tell you how happy I am to have you as my mother. Thank you for bringing me into this world, for teaching me, learning with me, and sharing your life with me.

Three weeks after you died, I found a letter from you in my mailbox when I got back home after my obstetrics month.

ADVERTISEMENT

Your last words to me

“From first holding the precious gift of a daughter to sharing in each new discovery you made … From caring for you as a baby to admitting you as a grown-up friend … I’ve loved being your mother. I see the path you’ve made that’s all your own. I see your brilliance, and how deeply you care. I see your hard-earned wisdom, your courage, and compassion, your unconditional goodness. I see what a difference you make in this world. Keep being your own kind of beautiful. You gave me the kind of joy that only comes from watching an adorable little girl grow into a lovely and much-loved woman.”

Claire Donley is a family physician.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

An obstetrician recommends midwifery care [PODCAST]

December 9, 2021 Kevin 0
…
Next

Wear your mask to protect your family

December 10, 2021 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Cardiology

Post navigation

< Previous Post
An obstetrician recommends midwifery care [PODCAST]
Next Post >
Wear your mask to protect your family

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

  • Ethical humanism: life after #medbikini and an approach to reimagining professionalism

    Jay Wong
  • The life cycle of medication consumption

    Fery Pashang, PharmD
  • Welcome to medical school. Welcome to the rest of your life.

    Zainab Mabizari
  • My first end-of-life conversation

    Shereen Jeyakumar
  • There’s no such thing as work-life balance

    Katie Fortenberry, PhD
  • Should only infectious disease specialists be allowed to prescribe antibiotics?

    Craig Bowron, MD

More in Physician

  • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • Why enterprise risk management is key to value-based health care success

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Rethinking physician resilience for sustainable well-being

    Sarah Webber, MD
  • How shared language saved a patient from isolation

    Syed Ahmad Moosa, MD
  • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

    Curtis G. Graham, MD
  • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • Why telling kids to eat less and move more fails to address obesity

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
    • Why enterprise risk management is key to value-based health care success

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Rethinking physician resilience for sustainable well-being

      Sarah Webber, MD | Physician
    • How shared language saved a patient from isolation

      Syed Ahmad Moosa, MD | Physician
    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • Why telling kids to eat less and move more fails to address obesity

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
    • Why enterprise risk management is key to value-based health care success

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Rethinking physician resilience for sustainable well-being

      Sarah Webber, MD | Physician
    • How shared language saved a patient from isolation

      Syed Ahmad Moosa, MD | Physician
    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...