In medicine, we were taught to value humility over pride. To downplay our successes. To “just do our job.” Even as we achieve remarkable things, we rarely pause to acknowledge them, let alone celebrate.
Pride feels risky. Many physicians worry that being proud means being egotistical, self-important, or inconsiderate of others who may be struggling. We were trained to attribute our successes to the team, to luck, or hard work—never to self-worth. Many of us deflect compliments as second nature, redirecting credit away from ourselves as quickly as it arrives.
I’ve come to believe that this tendency is not a mark of humility—it’s a symptom of disconnection. A disconnection from our own value, our impact, and often, our deeper purpose.
Years ago, during my early training as a coach, I was asked a simple question: What feeling do you want more of in your life? One of the instructors said she wanted to feel proud. Her answer startled me. It had never occurred to me that pride was something to aspire to.
I realized, in that moment, how rarely I allowed myself to feel proud of anything I had done—despite years of practicing medicine, leading teams, raising a family, and launching new programs to support others. This question changed me. It has become a thread I have intentionally woven through my personal growth and the work I now do with other physicians.
In small group coaching and reflective circles, I often ask this same question: What are you proud of? Not what your kids or colleagues have done. What you have done. The responses are often accompanied by silence, discomfort, and, eventually, unexpected emotion. Once the answers begin to surface, they are tender, true, and powerful.
Physicians share that they are proud of surviving cancer, or of the career shifts they made after realizing a practice no longer aligned with their values. They speak of navigating complex parenting journeys with presence. Of speaking up in meetings where they once stayed silent. Of choosing to rest. Of reimagining their careers in ways that once felt impossible. Of setting boundaries. Of breastfeeding. Of starting over, quietly and bravely.
None of their stories are about perfection or prestige. They are stories of courage, growth, and integrity. And, they are usually told in whispers—shared only when invited, and only in very safe spaces.
We’ve been conditioned in medicine to avoid standing tall. What if allowing ourselves to feel proud isn’t arrogance—it’s leadership? What if acknowledging your own growth is an act of modeling what’s possible?
In a recent episode of Healing Medicine, my podcast cohost and I shared personal stories of what we’re proud of—stories that were both vulnerable and perhaps a bit radical. The episode touched a nerve. It sparked more emails and messages from listeners than nearly anything we’ve released in four years. Physicians from all over expressed written thanks.
When physicians allow themselves to stand tall—with authenticity, not ego—it creates a powerful ripple effect. We become visible in ways that inspire others. We lead not just with skill, but with intention, presence, and compassion. In doing so, we can begin to reshape the culture of medicine itself—from one rooted in quiet suffering to one where well-being, truth, and worthiness are valued and shared.
In this spirit, I continue to practice naming what I’m proud of even though it continues to feel awkward.
- Starting a mission-driven business
- Staying married through hard seasons
- Helping aging parents with patience and love
- Developing my public speaking voice
- Continuing to parent my adult children with curiosity, rather than control
- Choosing to live an aligned and intentional life
None of it was easy. None of it “just happened.” For years, I dismissed or minimized each of these milestones. I’ve learned that when we take time to name what we’re proud of, our confidence grows—not from ego, but from clarity. Clarity allows us to lead, heal, and serve from a place of integrity.
What are you proud of—truly proud of? What have you done well, even if no one else noticed? Where have you grown, changed, softened, or stood firm?
If the word “pride” feels like too much, you are not alone. Perhaps start with: What would you like to celebrate? What have you done well?
If you’re raising children, the pediatrician in me would love nothing more than if you asked them at bedtime: What are you proud of today? Their answers may surprise and delight you. You will likely find this an easier way to join in yourself.
When we own the effort, growth, and values that brought us here—we not only nourish ourselves, we become beacons for others.
What might shift in the culture of medicine if more of us showed up grounded, confident, and unapologetically proud of who we are becoming?
Jessie Mahoney is a board-certified pediatrician, certified coach, mindfulness and yoga teacher, and the founder of Pause & Presence Coaching & Retreats. After nearly two decades as a physician leader at the Permanente Medical Group/Kaiser, she stepped outside the traditional medical model to reimagine what sustainable well-being in health care could look like. She can also be reached on Facebook and Instagram.
Dr. Mahoney’s work challenges the culture of overwork and self-sacrifice in medicine. She helps physicians and leaders cultivate clarity, intention, and balance—leveraging mindfulness, coaching, yoga, and lifestyle medicine to create deep and lasting change. Her CME retreats offer a transformative space for healing, self-discovery, and renewal.
As co-host of the podcast, Healing Medicine, she brings self-compassion and presence into the conversation around modern medical practice. A sought-after speaker and consultant, she partners with organizations to build more human-centered, sustainable, and inspired medical cultures.
Dr. Mahoney is a graduate of Dartmouth College and the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine.
