Jessie Mahoney, MD

I knew from the beginning that something was wrong in the culture of medicine, but I never believed it would almost kill me. This is not a story about my health. It’s a story about why my health story is not unusual. I hope it becomes a call to action.

I grew up in Berkeley, where speaking up is a developmental milestone. Early in my medical training, I started asking questions. …

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Physicians are renowned for their dedication to helping others. The problem is that their dedication has become synonymous with self-sacrifice and working for free.

Giving away time, energy, and expertise is simply “what good doctors are supposed to do.”

We work through lunch. We attend meetings during lunch. We respond to patient messages on our days off. We prepare lectures and teach without compensation. Leaders hold space for complaints and conflict and …

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More physicians than ever are reaching out for support after being labeled disruptive, inefficient, delinquent, reactive, or poor communicators.

These are highly skilled, deeply committed professionals being written up for professionalism concerns, communication issues, behavior, and “reactivity.” These cases span every specialty, gender, and stage of career.

This is not a reflection of declining professionalism. It is a predictable outcome of practicing in an untenable and broken system. It is an expected …

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In medicine, we are trained to lead with logic. To analyze, evaluate, and act. We are praised for decisive thinking, efficiency, and evidence-based decisions. In the hardest moments of my life, career, and leadership, none of those tools brought me clarity.

Ten years ago, as a practicing pediatrician and physician leader, my personal life began to fall apart. My husband, who had always been steady and supportive, began to slide into …

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Wellness programming must evolve beyond institutions if we are serious about supporting physicians, especially women physicians.

For wellness to be taken seriously, it had to begin within institutions. Those efforts offered visibility and legitimacy. But institutional wellness is not the whole answer.

For 17 years, I led wellness initiatives inside a large medical organization. I saw the value of bringing attention to physician well-being. I also saw the limitations. Six years ago, …

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In medicine, we are taught to care deeply.

When criticism arrives, whether from a patient, a colleague, an administrator, or an anonymous review, it stings. A lot. The sting usually lasts long after we read the words. It usually leads to rumination, self-doubt, and often even poor sleep, a questioning of our career choice, and our abilities.

Even with years of mindfulness, self-compassion, and coaching, I still feel upset when it happens …

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Were you the one who always held it together? The responsible one? The one who made sure everyone else was OK, sometimes at the cost of your own well-being?

For most eldest daughters, this role is inevitable. We don’t choose it. We are handed it, early and often, because we are so “capable.” We accept this role and excel at it. That’s what most eldest daughters do with whatever is handed …

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In medicine, we’re trained to stay. To endure. To prove our worth by how much we can carry and how long we can carry it. Our roles become our identities. Our achievements and labels become scaffolds of self-worth. In medicine, stepping down is often labeled as a sign of weakness. So we hold on to roles even when they no longer fuel us. We are usually still doing the job …

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As women in medicine, we have been taught to achieve, not advocate, especially not for each other. We keep our heads down. We hustle for credibility. And when we finally earn it, we are hesitant to speak it aloud, about ourselves or anyone else. As if naming our gifts makes them less legitimate.

When was the last time you publicly celebrated another woman in medicine for her brilliance? When was the …

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Imposter syndrome is not a personal failing. It is a conditioned mindset. A learned pattern. We are raised in a culture of hyper vigilance. We are taught to equate uncertainty with inadequacy. We are taught it is not OK not to know an answer. That being unsure is a failing.

We prepare relentlessly. We never let our guard down. Hypervigilance is our standard mode of operating. Self-judgment is an internal soundtrack. …

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The truth is not hiding. We have known for decades what allows physicians to thrive and what erodes their well-being. The science has been published, the interventions described, and the solutions tested. What we face is not a crisis of knowledge; it is a crisis of action.

I was reminded of this recently when an emergency physician preparing a talk on wellness asked me for help. She wanted to share with …

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As physicians, we are trained to care—for patients, colleagues, and our communities.

When it comes to caring for our own aging parents and ill family members, most of us find ourselves overwhelmed, overfunctioning, under-resourced, depleted, and isolated. More often than not, we find ourselves assigned the caregiving role—explicitly or implicitly—because we’re “the doctor in the family.”

We think our medical training should make caregiving easier. But the opposite is true. We know …

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There’s a sacred irony in medicine: Those who care for hearts often forget their own.

This truth came into sharp focus for me this past weekend, where I found myself in a room of women cardiologists at The American College of Cardiology in D.C.

The women in attendance were brilliant and compassionate. They spend their days pacing hearts, restarting them, and stenting them open. They are experts in life’s most vital rhythm. …

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