We were taught that sacrificing ourselves is noble. That resilience is enduring. And that suffering and struggling are valiant.

We were taught rest is optional, complacent, lazy—something for other, less busy, less important people.

We were also taught to see “self-care” as somewhat indulgent.

Self-care is often thought of as something earned. A guilty pleasure.

Even the words commonly used in medicine to describe caring for ourselves—”self-care”—sound indulgent.

“Caring for ourselves as well” is not indulgent or decadent—it’s responsible. And it should be the standard of care in medicine.

As physicians, leaders, and humans, our energy is the most important resource we have.

Energy is what allows us to show up with clarity, compassion, and purpose. Energy is what makes healing others sustainable.

When we chronically deplete our energy without replenishment, we don’t just suffer individually—we create negative ripple effects that harm our teams, our families, and the very people we hope to take care of.

Tired minds make poor decisions. Overextended bodies break down.

Depleted hearts grow resentful, disconnected, and numb.

This is not good care for anyone—our patients, the system, or ourselves.

Self-care shouldn’t be another item on our to-do list.

Caring for yourself means valuing yourself with the same reverence, compassion, and attention that you give to your patients.

It’s not indulgent. It’s responsible.

Tending to your nervous system, protecting your peace, and pausing before you reach empty and crash should be as routine and essential as scrubbing in and doing a time-out before surgery.

Caring for ourselves is “required maintenance”—at a cellular, emotional, and energetic level.

Caring for ourselves goes far beyond putting on our oxygen masks first.

Oxygen masks are what’s needed when a plane is going down. Maintenance is what happens between flights to prevent accidents and malfunctions.

We shouldn’t expect a physician to keep healing others without required maintenance and a tank of gas, but we do. Every day.

Caring for yourself as a physician should be foundational. And non-negotiable.

When we rest, we become more present healers and leaders.

When we prioritize our own humanity, we give others permission to do the same.

We don’t have to do it first, but we do have to do it as well. We can’t fix a broken health care system by breaking ourselves to keep it going.

We can fix it by becoming lighthouses—steady, grounded, and well-lit from within. Even lighthouses require bulb replacement, electrical maintenance, and window washing. Only then can they effectively guide others to safety.

If we continue rushing to rescue everyone like a Zodiac raft in stormy seas, we will inevitably run out of gas, break down, or crash against the rocks.

Sustainability is not softness or low bar. It’s strength. And the highest bar.

The medical culture and systems shouldn’t expect us to break before we take the walk, enjoy a nourishing meal, spend time with a friend, or get a check-up.

We can’t wait until there is time. We, and the culture of medicine, must make time for it.

This will happen when it is expected rather than inconvenient.

Just like time-outs and scrubbing in.

Caring for yourself as well is not optional. It’s responsible.

And it should be the standard of care for everyone who works in medicine.

Jessie Mahoney is a board-certified pediatrician, certified coach, mindfulness and yoga teacher, and the founder of Pause & Presence Coaching & Retreats. After nearly two decades as a physician leader at the Permanente Medical Group/Kaiser, she stepped outside the traditional medical model to reimagine what sustainable well-being in health care could look like. She can also be reached on Facebook and Instagram.

Dr. Mahoney’s work challenges the culture of overwork and self-sacrifice in medicine. She helps physicians and leaders cultivate clarity, intention, and balance—leveraging mindfulness, coaching, yoga, and lifestyle medicine to create deep and lasting change. Her CME retreats offer a transformative space for healing, self-discovery, and renewal.

As co-host of the podcast, Healing Medicine, she brings self-compassion and presence into the conversation around modern medical practice. A sought-after speaker and consultant, she partners with organizations to build more human-centered, sustainable, and inspired medical cultures.

Dr. Mahoney is a graduate of Dartmouth College and the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine.