When a neurosurgeon tells you she thinks she might want to leave surgery for interior design, you listen closely.

Not because it’s outrageous, but because it’s honest. Many physicians carry similar longings. They wonder whether it’s OK to want a different life.

In medicine, conformity is expected and often a means of survival. Especially for women in male-dominated fields. The unspoken expectation is to blend in, push through, and never question the mold.

This neurosurgeon didn’t end up leaving. Through reflection, support, coaching, and a willingness to question long-held assumptions, she redesigned her relationship with her career and created a career that fit her authentic self.

She now practices in a nontraditional model: Commuting for one week of clinical work, then returning home for a full week of rest, connection, and personal life. What at first seemed like an imperfect compromise has become the foundation of a deeply fulfilling life.

She is more present with her family. She has cultivated meaningful friendships. She reconnected with hobbies she once believed didn’t belong in the life of a neurosurgeon. On top of it all, she enjoys her clinical work again.

Career shifts aren’t simply logistical. They require us to change our internal settings as well.

Almost everyone who leaves a role in medicine experiences the all-too-familiar narrative that if you step off the traditional path, you must not have been able to “hack it.” The feeling of shame is universal in medicine.

Shame, blame, and guilt keep many physicians working in situations that are not aligned, not healthy, and often even toxic. The shame we feel is not a signal of failure. It’s simply cultural conditioning.

Just because medicine, and especially surgery, wasn’t built for women, it doesn’t mean we have to walk away. We can redesign our role in it.

When we do this, we all benefit. Our patients receive more presence. Our families receive more connection. Our teams receive more grounded leadership. More importantly women physicians get to love their work in medicine and surgery again.

If you feel stuck, misaligned, or quietly ashamed that the traditional model isn’t working for you, you’re not broken. The system wasn’t built with you in mind. It wasn’t built for the kind of medicine we practice in 2025.

This doesn’t mean there isn’t a path that can work for you. It simply means that finding an authentic path will take creativity, courage, and support.

Jessie Mahoney is a board-certified pediatrician, certified coach, mindfulness and yoga teacher, and the founder of Pause & Presence Coaching & Retreats. After nearly two decades as a physician leader at the Permanente Medical Group/Kaiser, she stepped outside the traditional medical model to reimagine what sustainable well-being in health care could look like. She can also be reached on Facebook and Instagram.

Dr. Mahoney’s work challenges the culture of overwork and self-sacrifice in medicine. She helps physicians and leaders cultivate clarity, intention, and balance—leveraging mindfulness, coaching, yoga, and lifestyle medicine to create deep and lasting change. Her CME retreats offer a transformative space for healing, self-discovery, and renewal.

As co-host of the podcast, Healing Medicine, she brings self-compassion and presence into the conversation around modern medical practice. A sought-after speaker and consultant, she partners with organizations to build more human-centered, sustainable, and inspired medical cultures.

Dr. Mahoney is a graduate of Dartmouth College and the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine.