Annia Raja is a clinical psychologist.
When you step into medical training, you’re often told, both implicitly and sometimes even explicitly, that certain parts of you don’t belong. Sensitivity, doubt, or even just being messy and human can feel like liabilities in a culture that prizes efficiency, certainty, control, and always “having the answer.” Many physicians I work with in therapy describe learning early on to “toughen up,” to silence the softer, more questioning sides of …
Grief is not a word most physicians would use to describe their day-to-day work. Stress? Absolutely. Burnout? Sadly too common. Exhaustion? Without question. But grief? That feels too tender, too vulnerable, too personal, too scary.
And yet, grief quietly saturates the practice of medicine and the existence of being a doctor.
Grief shows up most obviously in the loss of patients. Death coming sometimes suddenly, and sometimes after a long, protracted …
It is a question that has stopped more than a few of my physician clients in their tracks: Who are you outside of the white coat?
I do not mean your hobbies, though yes, of course those matter. I mean your identity. Your core sense of self when you strip away the pager, the patient lists, the provider ID, and even the deeply ingrained instincts to care, to fix, to achieve. …
Physicians are masters at holding it together.
You walk into a patient’s room, and no matter how little sleep you have gotten, how chaotic the last shift was, or how much is weighing on you personally, you put on the calm, capable, competent face that patients and colleagues expect. That ability to compartmentalize (to suppress your own emotions so you can stay functional) is often what gets you through residency, twenty-four-hour …
It is happening more often than most people realize. The same physicians who seem unshakable in the OR or clinic, the ones who handle chaos without blinking, are quietly scheduling therapy appointments. Not because they have “hit rock bottom” or cannot do their jobs anymore, but because they are realizing they do not have to slowly carry it all alone. Nor can they sustain this level of burnout anymore.
As a …
Doctors are often praised for their resilience. It’s become a buzzword in medicine, touted as some catch-all antidote to physician burnout. It’s used in keynotes, wellness programs, recruitment ads, hospital HR emails—everywhere really. “Feeling burned out? Improve your resilience.” But I believe that this emphasis on resilience often misses the mark. Worse, it can subtly reinforce the idea that if you’re suffering, you’re not resilient enough.
But what if the problem …
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