Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • What Physicians Say
  • My Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Speaking
KevinMD.com — Social media's leading physician voice
  • All
  • Physician
  • Burnout
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • All
  • Physician
  • Burnout
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
    • All
    • Physician
    • Burnout
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • What Physicians Say
    • My Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Speaking
KevinMD.com — Social media's leading physician voice
  • All
  • Physician
  • Burnout
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
    • All
    • Physician
    • Burnout
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • What Physicians Say
    • My Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Speaking
  • About Kevin Pho, MD, Founder of KevinMD
  • Aging and dementia: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Artificial intelligence: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Be heard on social media’s leading physician voice
  • Cancer: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Children’s health: what pediatricians say, in their own words
  • Contact Kevin
  • COVID-19: what physicians wrote as it happened
  • Custom enhanced author page pricing
  • Diabetes and obesity: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Direct primary care: what physicians say, in their own words
  • DMCA Policy
  • End of life: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Establishing, Managing, and Protecting Your Online Reputation: A Social Media Guide for Physicians and Medical Practices
  • GLP-1 drugs: what physicians say about Ozempic and its successors, in their own words
  • Heart disease: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Immigration and medicine: what physicians say about immigrant doctors and immigrant patients, in their own words
  • KevinMD influencer opportunities
  • Medical errors: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Medical ethics: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Medical malpractice: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Medical school: what students and physicians say, in their own words
  • Mental health: what psychiatrists and physicians say, in their own words
  • Nursing: what nurses and physicians say, in their own words
  • Opinion and commentary by KevinMD
  • Opioids: what physicians and pain patients say, in their own words
  • Physician burnout speakers to keynote your conference
  • Physician burnout: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Physician Coaching by KevinMD
  • Physician keynote speaker: Kevin Pho, MD
  • Physician personal finance: what physicians say about their own money, in their own words
  • Physician Speaking by KevinMD: a boutique speakers bureau
  • Physician suicide: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Physicians and administrators: what physicians say about who runs medicine, in their own words
  • Primary care physician in Nashua, NH | Kevin Pho, MD
  • Primary care: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Prior authorization: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Privacy Policy
  • Private equity and corporate medicine: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Race and medicine: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Recommended services by KevinMD
  • Residency: what residents and attendings say, in their own words
  • Scope of practice: what physicians, nurse practitioners, and PAs say, in their own words
  • Subscribe to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • Subscribe to the newsletter
  • Surgeons and surgery: what surgeons say, in their own words
  • Take-home messages: what physicians say when asked to leave one
  • Terms of Use Agreement
  • Thank you for subscribing to KevinMD
  • Thank you for upgrading to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • The electronic health record: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Vaccines: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Violence against health care workers: what physicians and nurses say, in their own words
  • What physicians say: the KevinMD records
  • Women in medicine: what women physicians say, in their own words
  • Women’s health: what physicians say, in their own words

The hospital’s homeless at night

Ahmed Zaafran, MD
Physician
June 9, 2016
Share
Tweet
Share

Sometimes when I’m working at the hospital overnight, I go for walks. Every now and then, things calm down in the operating room, and you can get some time to relax. Life moves at such a break-neck pace, especially within the world of hospitals, that taking a moment to reflect, is beneficial.

Walking around a hospital at night is very different than during the day. During the day, it feels like a corporation with suited men and women roaming from meeting to meeting, it feels like train station, where buses and cars move in and out of lots. It sometimes feels like a factory where patients come for the acute care that only a hospital can provide.

But at night?

At night, hospitals take on a whole different feel. When I walk around, there are few people moving about, but each one is moving with a purpose.

A resident physician on no sleep fumbling with notebooks filled with endless pages of diagnoses and treatments for the 20 patients on their service.

A man pushing his IV pole down the hall, convincing himself that just one more step will help him get better and out of here.

A nurse, having just come to work at midnight, eating “lunch” and discussing with her colleagues what it’s like to live a life directly inverted from the lives of other people.

I’m listening more carefully at night as I stroll through the darkened halls. The walls echo a variety of emotions, each distinct with vigor and substance.

“I just don’t want to watch him suffer,” a middle-aged man says to his mom, just outside of his dad’s room.

“It has feet!” says the man looking at his newborn daughter’s body just after his wife’s delivery.

There is art on the walls.

Lining up the walls of a hospital near you is artwork from distinguished artists around the world. I read the descriptions, the artists’ names and feel a sense of gloom. I don’t usually notice the art because the truth is, no matter how hard you try to make the hospital a more pleasant place, it most often will remain cold.

It is filled with caregivers, whose sole purpose in their professional live, is to take care of the sick. And with all that love and devotion, their empathy can only extend to the hand of those reaching. Sometimes, you can reach their hearts, and when you do, you know it.

One night, things were just going terribly. People were coming into the hospital with stab wounds, fatal car accidents; you name it. I didn’t have much time for anything.

Just as I was about to catch a break and put my head down, I got a text message from an old friend. I hadn’t seen him since my training years in Texas, but his brother was at my hospital. His wife had experienced a stroke and needed immediate attention.

ADVERTISEMENT

It was very late at night and coincidentally I was there the same night. I went down to the lower level of the hospital where very few people would be at that time of night. And there he was. His brother was sitting alone, in a waiting room, while is beloved was having her brain scanned.

And at that moment, two people who have never met each other, linked by a mutual friend, were able to sit down and talk. We talked about sports, about raising our kids, and the frailty of life. We ate Oreos, I wished him and his wife well, and went on my way.

Walking back to my room at the hospital, I stopped to look and observe some more paintings.

“Ahmed, is that you? What the hell are you doing?”

A fellow anesthesiologist and buddy of mine, Justin, also working overnight, saw me stone-eyed, gazing at the wall-art, and almost didn’t recognize me. I told him what I had been thinking, and he said he could relate. He pulled out his phone and shared something with me called, “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.” In it was the definition of the word, “sonder”:

… the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own — populated with their own ambitions friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness-an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

Glancing over at family members laying on uncomfortable couches, half-covered by thin blankets, trying to get a wink of sleep as their loved ones yearn to heal in a seemingly cold place, you get the sense that they are homeless for the night.

And at that moment, I am just an extra, sipping coffee in the background, a lighted window at dusk.

Ahmed Zaafran is an anesthesiologist who blogs at DrBeen.

Prev

The donors were our first patients

June 9, 2016 Kevin 5
…
Next

I didn't get to say goodbye

June 9, 2016 Kevin 9
…

Tagged as: Hospital Medicine, Surgery

< Previous Post
The donors were our first patients
Next Post >
I didn't get to say goodbye

 

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Ahmed Zaafran, MD

  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    After Joan Rivers: How we can make patients safer

    Ahmed Zaafran, MD

Related Posts

  • Don’t judge when trainees use dating apps in the hospital

    Austin Perlmutter, MD
  • When physician pay packages become hospital kickbacks

    Jordan Rau
  • Medicine won’t keep you warm at night

    Anonymous
  • 5 challenges of working in a county hospital

    Pranav Sharma, MD
  • Hospital administrators thinking about no-cost treatment which really helps patients

    John Corsino, DPT
  • What do hospital discounts really mean?

    Robert S. Berry, MD

More in Physician

  • 3 reforms to counter wellness influencers in practice

    Farid Sabet-Sharghi, MD
  • Choosing a limb lengthening surgeon requires accountability

    Hrayr Basmajian, MD
  • How to reassure patients: 5 steps beyond normal tests

    Devina Maya Wadhwa, MD
  • Setting boundaries as a physician doesn’t mean caring less

    Jerina Gani, MD, MPH
  • How emergency medicine decision making works under pressure

    Geoffrey Mount Varner, MD, MPH
  • Why I stay in emergency medicine: a dancer at nearly 100

    Howie Mell, MD, MPH
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Retirement isn’t the end of medicine, it’s a second act [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The conflict of interest that discloses as nothing

      Martha Rosenberg | Medications
    • 4 fibromyalgia myths the current evidence doesn’t support

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Why exhaustion can make you see things that aren’t there [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • AI governance in health care has to reach the exam room

      Amanda Heidemann, MD | Health Technology
    • The Pennsylvania measles outbreak and the cost of forgetting

      Christine King, CRNA | Conditions and Diseases
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why CDC opioid guidelines get the overdose data wrong

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Retirement isn’t the end of medicine, it’s a second act [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Sensory processing in autism and the brain’s volume control

      Josette Pelatan, PhD | Conditions and Diseases
    • What maternity care deserts cost a town

      Manisha Kaliaperumal | Health Policy
    • Why medicine needs a national physician license now

      Vaishali Popat, MD, MPH | Physician
    • A cold cost $945. The cost of primary care is broken.

      Susan Newman, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Why exhaustion can make you see things that aren’t there [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • 3 reforms to counter wellness influencers in practice

      Farid Sabet-Sharghi, MD | Physician
    • Shift work and circadian rhythms shape the 24/7 workplace

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Paid for twice

      Physicians paid for G2211 twice. Most never bill it.

      Michael Duben, MD | Physician Finance
    • The next child

      Medicaid managed care and the case for mutual stewardship

      Steven Merahn, MD | Health Policy
    • Choosing a limb lengthening surgeon requires accountability

      Hrayr Basmajian, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Retirement isn’t the end of medicine, it’s a second act [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The conflict of interest that discloses as nothing

      Martha Rosenberg | Medications
    • 4 fibromyalgia myths the current evidence doesn’t support

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Why exhaustion can make you see things that aren’t there [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • AI governance in health care has to reach the exam room

      Amanda Heidemann, MD | Health Technology
    • The Pennsylvania measles outbreak and the cost of forgetting

      Christine King, CRNA | Conditions and Diseases
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why CDC opioid guidelines get the overdose data wrong

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Retirement isn’t the end of medicine, it’s a second act [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Sensory processing in autism and the brain’s volume control

      Josette Pelatan, PhD | Conditions and Diseases
    • What maternity care deserts cost a town

      Manisha Kaliaperumal | Health Policy
    • Why medicine needs a national physician license now

      Vaishali Popat, MD, MPH | Physician
    • A cold cost $945. The cost of primary care is broken.

      Susan Newman, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Why exhaustion can make you see things that aren’t there [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • 3 reforms to counter wellness influencers in practice

      Farid Sabet-Sharghi, MD | Physician
    • Shift work and circadian rhythms shape the 24/7 workplace

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Paid for twice

      Physicians paid for G2211 twice. Most never bill it.

      Michael Duben, MD | Physician Finance
    • The next child

      Medicaid managed care and the case for mutual stewardship

      Steven Merahn, MD | Health Policy
    • Choosing a limb lengthening surgeon requires accountability

      Hrayr Basmajian, MD | Physician

Copyright © 2026 KevinMD.com | Powered by Astra WordPress Theme

  • Terms of Use Agreement
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The hospital’s homeless at night
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...