Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

How do I fix communication with my patients?

Jordan Grumet, MD
Physician
February 6, 2017
Share
Tweet
Share

There is a basic communication gap between you and me. How could there not be? It’s not what you expect. I say you have cancer, or heart failure, or emphysema. Full stop. A conversation ensues. This is not what I’m talking about.

It’s more like when I report to you a series of normal lab results, and at the end flippantly mention a slight elevation of the white blood cell count. In my mind, it is a minor issue and likely due to that viral infection that you are recovering from. As the days pass, my words simmer and eventually come to a boil, consuming you. The elevation could be leukemia after all. You could be dying. You could be like your uncle Stew who went to the office for routine blood tests and was gone a week later. You search the Internet and are confused by what you see. You wait anxiously to repeat the blood tests four weeks later.

The white blood cell count comes back normal. You are relieved and tired. It has been a long and scary four weeks.

And I had no idea that you even suffered through this. I apologize. The problem with familiarity is that it is easy to forget perspective. I have spent the last few decades becoming intimately familiar with the ebb and flow of wayward lab results. And you have not. Frankly, I sometimes forget to look at my words, my utterances, through your eyes. The big stuff, sure. But it’s the minor and less tangible that escapes scrutiny.

God knows, there are also many other barriers. I am rushing off the phone to get back to the call from the emergency room. We are separated by an electronic elephant in the room that stubbornly inserts itself between us, and blocks my view. There are boxes and checks to be marked, and I am stuck trying to figure out whether you are a Pacific Islander, while you just want to talk about your chest pain.

Per usual, I don’t have adequate answers to this conundrum. Sometimes the gulf is overwhelmingly vast. Although I take full responsibility, I doubt that I will always be attuned to which of my words affect you so. Unfortunately, my experience will still color me blind from time to time.

But going forward there is one minor adjustment I will pledge to make. One way we can work together as a team.

At the end of every visit, every phone conversation, I will train myself to ask:

Tell me what questions you have? What haven’t I made clear?

Then, I will pause.

And you will answer.

Jordan Grumet is an internal medicine physician who blogs at In My Humble Opinion. Watch his talk at dotMED 2013, Caring 2.0: Social Media and the Rise Of The Empathic Physician. He is the author of I Am Your Doctor: and This Is My Humble Opinion.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Building a career and a life around the difficult moments

February 6, 2017 Kevin 0
…
Next

If you go to medical school, you will be stressed. Bigly.

February 6, 2017 Kevin 12
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Building a career and a life around the difficult moments
Next Post >
If you go to medical school, you will be stressed. Bigly.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jordan Grumet, MD

  • The man who changed the world with baseball cards

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A hospice doctor’s advice on getting your finances in order

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A story of persistence in the face of death

    Jordan Grumet, MD

Related Posts

  • 4 tips for better communication with patients

    Subha Mohan
  • Are patients using social media to attack physicians?

    David R. Stukus, MD
  • You are abandoning your patients if you are not active on social media

    Pat Rich
  • Physician Suicide Awareness Day: Where are the patients? 

    Jennifer M. Sweeney
  • Cancer patients who want to take unproven supplements

    Marc Braunstein, MD, PhD
  • Is physician shadowing immoral?

    David Penner

More in Physician

  • Removing vaccine advisers could jeopardize lives

    J. Leonard Lichtenfeld, MD
  • Why would any physician believe that the practice of medicine will become less abusive for them in the future?

    Curtis G. Graham, MD
  • The hidden war on doctors: Understanding administrative violence

    Maryna Mammoliti, MD
  • How doctors can stop frivolous lawsuits before they start

    Howard Smith, MD
  • How the 10th Apple Effect is stealing your joy in medicine

    Neil Baum, MD
  • When a doctor becomes the narrator of a patient’s final chapter

    Ryan McCarthy, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
    • Why flashy AI tools won’t fix health care without real infrastructure

      David Carmouche, MD | Tech
    • How the 10th Apple Effect is stealing your joy in medicine

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • How dismantling DEI endangers the future of medical care

      Shashank Madhu and Christian Tallo | Education
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • 9 domains that will define the future of medical education

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
    • When the diagnosis is personal: What my mother’s Alzheimer’s taught me about healing

      Pearl Jones, MD | Conditions
    • What led me from nurse practitioner to medical school

      Sarah White, APRN | Education
    • Why local cardiac CT scans could save your life

      Benjamin Cohen, MD | Conditions
    • Reassessing the impact of CDC’s opioid guidelines on chronic pain care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Key strategies for smooth EHR transitions in health care

      Sandra Johnson | Tech

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 3 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
    • Why flashy AI tools won’t fix health care without real infrastructure

      David Carmouche, MD | Tech
    • How the 10th Apple Effect is stealing your joy in medicine

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • How dismantling DEI endangers the future of medical care

      Shashank Madhu and Christian Tallo | Education
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • 9 domains that will define the future of medical education

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
    • When the diagnosis is personal: What my mother’s Alzheimer’s taught me about healing

      Pearl Jones, MD | Conditions
    • What led me from nurse practitioner to medical school

      Sarah White, APRN | Education
    • Why local cardiac CT scans could save your life

      Benjamin Cohen, MD | Conditions
    • Reassessing the impact of CDC’s opioid guidelines on chronic pain care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Key strategies for smooth EHR transitions in health care

      Sandra Johnson | Tech

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

How do I fix communication with my patients?
3 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...