Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Fight depression during residency by fostering connections

Jessica K. Willett, MD
Physician
May 13, 2018
Share
Tweet
Share

The words were like bitter candies that I had been sucking on, hoping to come to a sweet center. I had walked the hallways of the hospital holding them in the silky pocket of my cheek for weeks. Finally, afraid I would choke, I spit them out into the middle of the dinner table.

“I think I’m depressed.”

I stared down at the tablecloth, moisture collecting on the base of my water glass. My hand shook as I raised the glass to my mouth. Droplets spattered onto my bare leg, and I smeared them with a palm already damp with tears. A hand reached for mine, and as I raised my eyes, I looked around the table to see my colleagues nodding, eyes brimming with emotion. Were we all in the same boat? It felt like it was dangerously close to sinking.

It was about six months into my intern year, and I was sitting around a table with a handful of colleagues. I had heard that winter of intern year was supposedly the most difficult — the darkness of the days was amplified by the length of hours we spent at the hospital. But the darkness outside had started to seep into me, and I was starting to get worried.

I had recently worked on Christmas Eve, a holiday usually full of joy and celebration. This year, away from my family, I had clipped three pagers to my hospital scrubs and carried around an energy drink while I admired the hospital Christmas decorations in between admissions and thankless tasks. The following morning, I delayed leaving the hospital because I knew I’d be going home to an empty apartment. Later, I lay on the floor in front of my heater, too tired to turn the lights on. I wondered what would happen if I didn’t show up to work the next day – or the day after that. Then, I put on a smile to Skype with my family, and fell asleep still wearing my scrubs.

Now, as the conversation wound its way around the table, I discovered that the feeling of isolation and despair reached out and wrapped its tendrils around my colleagues, their spouses, and even their families as well. We discussed the fatigue, the stress, the high-stakes decision making we were learning to deal with. We touched on our concerns over our emotional and physical health. We threw all of our concerns into the middle of the table, and as the pile grew, the weight on our shoulders lessened.

As we left the restaurant that evening, we left shame behind, sitting at the table alone, and made a pact to watch out for each other for the remainder of our time together — both in residency and beyond. My connection with these six people served as a foundation of unwavering support during my years in residency. I’m happy to say it still exists for me today, and it still serves a purpose even beyond the stress-filled years of residency and fellowship.

I often wonder what would have happened in the absence of that dinner conversation. If we would have stayed silent, each in our silos of sadness, would our career paths have been cut short? It’s not an unreasonable question.

In the wake of yet another medical student who took her life too soon, we have to wonder why the support of our students and physicians-in-training is typically stunted. If you consider that medical providers hold a suicide rate higher than the general population (and young physicians among the highest), it’s obscene that physician mental health, and suicide in particular, tends to remain a taboo topic in most institutions.

It is well-known that major trauma lends itself to changes in the brain that can be emotionally debilitating. It is no surprise then, that the repetitive micro-traumas of medical training can have a cumulative effect. It has been shown that trauma, in general, can limit a person’s sense of accomplishment, their relationship to happiness, and can impair their ability to form connections to others.

A study done in 2009 looked at both high and low points in the lives of interns. The high points described by interns typically included fostering connections, both with patients and with colleagues. It can be inferred then, if the ability and desire to connect with others is impaired due to microtrauma, there is a danger of losing one of the only high points during a particularly sensitive time in medical training.

Staying silent in what is quite clearly an epidemic is no longer an option. In a time when social media can play many roles, one of the most important may be reinforcing a feeling of connection. I recognize that I may be an anomaly in being able to find a family of support during my medical training, which was transformational in both my personal life and in my career. But there are many ways to form a bond. Reaching out to trainees and letting them know they’re not along may be the difference between life and death. We all have a role to play.

Jessica K. Willett is an emergency physician and can be reached on Twitter @jkwillettmd.

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Comfort in my final hours

May 13, 2018 Kevin 3
…
Next

A better way of using Lyft and Uber in health care

May 13, 2018 Kevin 2
…

Tagged as: Hospital-Based Medicine, Psychiatry, Residency

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Comfort in my final hours
Next Post >
A better way of using Lyft and Uber in health care

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jessica K. Willett, MD

  • The truth about Caribbean medical schools

    Jessica K. Willett, MD

Related Posts

  • Residency training, and training in residency

    Michelle Meyer, MD
  • Fight the opioid crisis with physician assistants

    James Cannon, PA-C
  • Why residency applications need to change

    Sean Kiesel, DO, MBA
  • Treating depression with ketamine: We need incremental treatment for depression

    Shaili Jain, MD
  • Let’s talk residency: COVID edition

    Angela Awad and Catherine Tawfik
  • 5 ways to transition to residency

    Stephanie Wellington, MD

More in Physician

  • Life’s detours may be blessings in disguise

    Osmund Agbo, MD
  • Inside the heart of internal medicine: Why we stay

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • The quiet grief behind hospital walls

    Aaron Grubner, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    How to advance workforce development through research mentorship and evidence-based management

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • The truth about perfection and identity in health care

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • Civil discourse as a leadership competency: the case for curiosity in medicine

    All Levels Leadership
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • FDA delays could end vital treatment for rare disease patients

      GJ van Londen, MD | Meds
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Life’s detours may be blessings in disguise

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Physician
    • Inside the heart of internal medicine: Why we stay

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • The quiet grief behind hospital walls

      Aaron Grubner, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • Bundled payments in Medicare: Will fixed pricing reshape surgery costs?

      AMA Committee on Economics and Quality in Medicine, Medical Student Section | Policy
    • How Project ECHO is fighting physician isolation and transforming medical education [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • FDA delays could end vital treatment for rare disease patients

      GJ van Londen, MD | Meds
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Life’s detours may be blessings in disguise

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Physician
    • Inside the heart of internal medicine: Why we stay

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • The quiet grief behind hospital walls

      Aaron Grubner, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • Bundled payments in Medicare: Will fixed pricing reshape surgery costs?

      AMA Committee on Economics and Quality in Medicine, Medical Student Section | Policy
    • How Project ECHO is fighting physician isolation and transforming medical education [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...