Coping with fear as a physician [PODCAST]

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“Few physicians feel properly prepared to face the fear caused by this pandemic. I certainly did not. However, we continue to show up every day for our colleagues and our patients. We continue to focus on our jobs and the things that we can do to help. Let’s not forget to find moments throughout the day to recognize that we are fearful and for good reason. Face the fear and then keep going, just as we have always done.”

Kristin Yates is an obstetrics-gynecology physician.

She shares her story and discusses her KevinMD article, “Coping with fear as a physician during a pandemic.”

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Hosted by Kevin Pho, MD, The Podcast by KevinMD shares the stories of the many who intersect with our health care system but are rarely heard from.

Transcript

Kevin Pho: Hi, and welcome to the show, where we share the stories of the many who intersect with our health care system but are rarely heard from. My name is Kevin Pho, founder and editor of KevinMD. Today on the show we have Kristin Yates. She’s an obstetrics-gynecology physician, and she practices in New Hampshire, just like I do, and she wrote the KevinMD article “Coping with fear as a physician during a pandemic,” and we’ll talk about that. But first, Kristin, welcome to the show.

Kristin Yates: Thank you so much for having me. Happy to be here.

Kevin Pho: All right, so tell me your story and your journey to where you are today.

Kristin Yates: Yeah, I followed the well-laid-out path from medical school to residency, starting right college. Like many people, I knew I would always kind of end up in the women’s health field, and OB/GYN just really stuck out to me. So I did my residency in Pittsburgh, but I’m from New Hampshire, so I knew I would end up here eventually. And once we had kids, we just wanted the support of my family, so I ended up back in New Hampshire.

How I got into the writing and blogging atmosphere was really through my own journey as a new attending, with my struggle with impostor syndrome and burnout, and that was a way for me to kind of try to relate to other physicians and get the word out that maybe I’m not the only one feeling like that.

Kevin Pho: Wonderful. And you wrote this KevinMD article, which I thought was very poignant, “Coping with fear as a physician during a pandemic.” And I think a lot of doctors were scared, especially during the first few weeks of the pandemic, just because it’s something that’s new, novel, and we didn’t know how it’s going to affect our health, our families, and our profession. So I was wondering if you could tell me the story behind that article and why you decided to write it.

Kristin Yates: Yeah, for me, it was at the beginning of the pandemic, like you mentioned, and it was just a really interesting juxtaposition of my life as a physician and my role as a mother, and especially as an expecting mother. Usually, I try to separate somewhat those two roles that I have as a physician and a mom, and of course they intersect here and there, but with the pandemic, I found this kind of lingering fear was just there with me all the time.

And it was affecting not only the fear for my patients that I’ve always had in different circumstances, certainly in both obstetrics and gynecology, but then also a fear of how my interactions with my patients were. Was I bringing that home, and was it affecting my family, my husband and my kids, and my pregnancy as well? It was this really interesting intersection that I was just reflecting on, and for me, vulnerability and really getting to the core, the human part of me as a physician, was really important, which is what made me want to write the article.

Kevin Pho: So you talked about some of the things that you were fearful of during your first few weeks of the pandemic. What were some of the things that you did to overcome those fears?

Kristin Yates: I think just recognizing that I had them and it was OK, which sounds really simple, but I think for a long time I tried to not face those feelings that I was having and tried to, like, quash them. And when I realized that it’s normal and healthy for me to be fearful, that I should be fearful, it really made some more room for me to acknowledge the fear and really kind of get to the root of what I was most worried about.

And the only thing that you really can control is the thoughts that you have about things going on in your life, and it was grounding for me to recognize that and then kind of think, on purpose, thoughts that were more useful than just focusing on the fear all the time.

Kevin Pho: So you wrote this article back in April, and we’re filming this the first week of June. So as the pandemic has evolved, what are some of the new issues that have come up over the past week or so, and some of the issues that you see going forward in the foreseeable future?

Kristin Yates: Yeah, right now, I think the biggest thing is how to navigate the opening up of the world, and especially, what do I tell my patients who are just delivering and want to have their families there and meet their new baby? It’s kind of trying to navigate that in a system where it’s pretty unclear how to do that safely. And in New Hampshire, I think I feel lucky that I’m here in a pandemic, if I could be anywhere, but there’s still some confusion about how do I tell my patients, “Are you safe? How safe are you? What precautions should you be taking?” And that’s been a challenge right now.

Kevin Pho: And I think a lot of clinicians, not just physicians, but nurses and advanced practice practitioners as well, are feeling fearful, similarly to how you describe. What are some tips that you could offer them going forward as the pandemic evolves?

Kristin Yates: Yeah, I think that the number one tip that worked for me is to really just not indulge too much in social media or the news, and not to be naive and not to ignore what’s going on, but we’re wired. Our brain wants us to be fearful and have this kind of “Oh my gosh, we could die at any moment” type of mentality. And if you’re constantly feeding your brain that information with numbers and statistics and news and social media, it can really spiral out of control, and that’s exactly what it did for me. So I really had to limit that, and it’s been useful to get the information that I need and then turn it off.

Kevin Pho: So let’s take a step back. You’re an obstetrics-gynecology physician, and those things can never be put off, even during a pandemic. So I was wondering if you could describe for my audience how the pandemic has affected your practice.

Kristin Yates: Yeah, I’m in a private practice. I’m one of the four owners of our private practice, so from a business perspective, it’s been stressful, trying to support my staff but also keep the business floating and making it through this pandemic. So that’s been an interesting and stressful situation.

But also for my patients, especially when it first started, there were all the things that were going to be changing on labor and delivery, and only one partner allowed, and they kind of have to stay in your room, and navigating those waters and not making my patients feel anxious about it, but seeing them less in the office and doing more telemedicine visits. And it was all happening so fast. Every single day, there were things that were new and changing, and I was trying to navigate that but stay calm and be able to be a calm source of reason for my patients as well.

Kevin Pho: Is there anything that you wish you’d known back then that you know now?

Kristin Yates: I think that it’s a challenge to juggle all the different roles that I have as a physician, a business owner, a mom, and a wife, and I think that if I had just been able to better embrace each one of those roles independently and with grace for myself, I would have maybe handled it a little bit more smoothly than I did.

Kevin Pho: And what’s one thing that you’ve been passionate about recently, or something that you’ve been curious about recently?

Kristin Yates: Yeah, I think that this pandemic has really kind of made me realize how passionate I am about helping young physicians and early-career physicians find satisfaction in their career. And this is something that I’ve kind of been dabbling in for 18 months, but this made me realize that core foundation of knowing how to manage your mind and how powerful our thoughts are. This pandemic made it even more clear that that’s so needed in medicine because we just don’t learn it. So that’s kind of made me even more passionate to focus on those projects in order to help physicians out there who are feeling like they’re struggling or like an impostor and that kind of thing.

Kevin Pho: And I think that’s so true, because the pandemic has really thrown our profession for a loop. It’s no longer a safe job anymore. We have a lot of physicians who are either furloughed or laid off or simply put out of business, and having interests and passions outside of medicine is so much more important during a pandemic, and we haven’t realized it before. And my final question to you: What’s your take-home message for the KevinMD audience?

Kristin Yates: I think it’s just along the lines of exactly what you said. As a physician, and anyone really in medicine, you’re more than just your job. You have so many different sides to you, and let yourself explore those sides, because when you are able to cultivate every aspect of your personality, you’ll be better at your career. You’ll be a better physician and be more present with your patients. So don’t try to quash those interests. Really elevate them and focus on them outside of medicine because it really makes you more fulfilled overall.

Kevin Pho: Well, thank you so much for sharing your story and your insight. On the show, we have Kristin Yates. She’s an obstetrics-gynecology physician and wrote the KevinMD article “Coping with fear as a physician during a pandemic.” Kristin, thank you so much for joining us on the show.

Kristin Yates: Thank you very much.

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