“My sister called me. I answered. And, then, I lost it: ‘He died. He died,’ I repeated. ‘Our patient died. I literally did CPR on this guy. We tried to save his life, and he died,’ I repeated over and over. The tears streaming down my cheeks were cathartic. More than signifying a loss, the tears signified that I was still human, that I haven’t lost touch with reality. Residency hasn’t changed me. Death still affects me. I’m not numb. I’m human.

My tears were confirmation that I haven’t changed in that way. I was not calloused. He died. And I still felt it. I had a heart.”

Maseray S. Kamara is a general surgery resident and can be reached on Instagram @drkamara.

She shares her story and discusses her KevinMD article, “Death still affects me. I’m not numb. I’m human.”

This episode is sponsored by Elsevier Health. Looking to update your personal or professional medical library? Shop Elsevier Health’s Holiday Sale and save up to 35% on your purchase of medical books! Plus, you can take an extra 5% off your order with code KEVINMD at checkout. Take advantage of the biggest sale of the year from Elsevier, the world-leading provider of medical books and reference materials. Shop us.elsevierhealth.com now through December 31.

Did you enjoy today’s episode?

Please click here to leave a review for The Podcast by KevinMD. Subscribe on your favorite podcast app to get notified when a new episode comes out!

Do you know someone who might enjoy this episode? Share this episode to anyone who wants to hear health care stories filled with information, insight, and inspiration.

Hosted by Kevin Pho, MD, The Podcast by KevinMD shares the stories of the many who intersect with our health care system but are rarely heard from.