As physicians, we are highly motivated, educated, hardworking and compassionate individuals. We deserve the best that life can offer. I do not mean the nicest houses or fanciest cars (although there is nothing wrong with luxuries). What I am referring to is having the type of career that brings out the best in us. A work environment that allows us to share our gifts easily and effortlessly ultimately contributing to our fulfillment.

In my work with physicians, I notice a common trend. Most of us settle for mediocre lives despite having worked very hard to get where we are. It is not our fault. We have never been taught how to get what we really want in life and more importantly which pursuits will actually enhance our experience of life.

Spiritual teachings often claim that desire is the root of suffering. Gurus suggest that because we cannot obtain everything we want, and even what we do attain is fleeting, desire breeds anxiety, despair, and frustration, essentially, suffering.

But is this truly the case? Are these teachings talking about all desires, or do we need a deeper understanding? What these teachings caution against is not desire itself, but rather our attachment to the outcomes of our desires. Desire, in essence, is not bad.

Many of us have various desires in life. We want to be healthy, happy, loved, financially secure, excited, have fun, and achieve success.

Everything we desire for ourselves, we also wish tenfold for our children.

Have we ever considered why we achieve some desires while others seem perpetually out of reach? Is there a formula that can guarantee the fulfillment of our desires? Yes!

A (Achievement) = D (Desire) + B (Belief)

The only variable that will determine whether a desire will be achieved is the belief that we can have what we want.

You have everything in your life because, at some point, you believed you could have it. Conversely, you lack something you truly want because, at some level, you think you cannot have it.

What can lead us to believe we cannot attain what we genuinely desire?

Limiting beliefs formed from childhood experiences and well-meaning advice from parents, friends, and society shape our programming or conditioning.

As children, we have a fundamental need for love and acceptance. When these needs go unmet, our minds attempt to make sense of the situation and protect us by forming beliefs about the events.

The three most common limiting beliefs are:

• I am not (smart, pretty, funny, popular, athletic, good) enough.
• What I want (love, safety, acceptance, abundance, success) is not available to me.
• I am different and cannot connect with others.

We internalize these beliefs at a subconscious level, and they become our reality.

For example, a 47-year-old client of mine, Jim, was excluded and teased as a child. He grew up with certain beliefs about himself: He was excluded because he was not popular enough, and what he wanted (close friends who cared about him) was unavailable. Since he was treated this way, he believed he must be different from others.

These beliefs formed a program that runs in the background of Jim’s life, affecting all aspects of his experiences. He approaches relationships with a deep insecurity regarding his self-worth, often seeking validation from others that he struggles to give himself. This creates an impossible dynamic for his wife, leading to frequent conflict in their marriage.

Jim became a doctor in part for the status and external approval the field offered. Now in the middle of his career, he finds himself stuck in a safe and secure job that pays the bills but does little to feed the soul. He has always hesitated to pursue positions that offered more autonomy and authentic expression, convinced that what he desired was inaccessible, just as love and acceptance were in his childhood. As a result, he plays it safe, rarely stepping outside his comfort zone, leaving him feeling bored, dissatisfied, and restless. He finds himself stuck in an unfulfilling environment, too afraid to make a change.

Now that he has a family, he seeks his happiness through his children’s achievements and well-being. However, relying on external sources (such as people and events) for fulfillment can lead to anxiety, fear, and frustration, as not everything will meet his expectations. Unfortunately, this approach risks passing on his conditioned beliefs and limitations to the next generation.

Returning to the topic of desires, our beliefs and the persistence of our desires determine whether we will achieve what we want.

Most physicians find it easy to persist in their desires for financial abundance, professional success, and their children’s happiness. Where many struggle is in believing these things are truly available to them and that they are worthy of receiving them.

Reality does not respond to what we want; it responds to who we believe we are.

If our inner state is one of lack, fear, and unworthiness, that is what will manifest in our reality.

We must replace limiting beliefs and doubts about what is possible with more empowering beliefs that align with our highest aspirations and deepest desires.

By believing we are worthy of living the life of our dreams and embodying that state of our wishes fulfilled, we become magnets for our desires.

So, pay close attention to your beliefs because, in the end, they shape your reality.

Through a systematic approach of inner exploration, Jim was able to uncover the reasons for his limiting beliefs about himself and what is available to him. He began to understand how random experiences as a child became deeply ingrained at a subconscious level below his awareness. Together, we accessed and dismantled these faulty beliefs enabling Jim to install more effective ones that align with his highest aspirations and True Self.

Jim set up his own corporation to provide part-time services to multiple groups. He now works on his own terms trading a little security for much more autonomy and fulfillment. He has realized that whatever he wants in life is available to him. More importantly, he is passing this wisdom on to his children encouraging them to pursue their dreams rather than settling for safe practical careers.

Is there anything more valuable for us to learn as physicians and to pass along to our kids?

Sanj Katyal is a radiologist.