Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Stop and really think about what you want from life

Susan Biali Haas, MD
Physician
April 11, 2011
Share
Tweet
Share

A friend and I made a pact today.  No more hanging out halfway, it’s all or nothing.  Each of us has a dream for our lives.

Our respective dreams are almost the same, and they’re dreams that we’d almost cast aside or given up on.  Why? Because they require so much faith, dedication, focus and endurance to pull off.  Neither of us had wholeheartedly committed to the dream.

I’ve had a small taste of my dream, and I’d almost convinced myself that that was enough. I know how much work stands between me and my greatest vision for my life.  It’s work I love, but I somehow have to find the time for it and work at it like never before – that will require a kind of determination and single-mindedness that I’ve yet to experience or exhhibit.

That said, I did have a sort of single-mindedness about my flamenco-dancing dreams. In four years I went from that first flamenco dance class to having my own dance company in Los Cabos, Mexico and even performing for celebrities.  I did this by being extraordinarily determined and focused and having dreams out of proportion with what most would have said was my “reality”.  I certainly wasn’t the best dancer and probably didn’t really deserve the kind of gigs that I got, but they came into my life anyway, no doubt attracted in by the fervour and faith that I fed that dream with continuously.

Medical school, by its nature, consumed me too.  Between the endless hours of classes, constant exams, life and death patient consequences and impossible load of information to absorb, you had no choice but to be totally focused or you’d either drown or accidentally kill someone.

It wasn’t much effort for me to dance day and night, because I loved it so much and had the time.  By moving to Mexico I’d deliberately set my life up for that purpose. I had lots of free time, few expenses, and didn’t have many responsibilities.  Ditto for med school, I was living off student loans, young and single with nothing significant to do other than studying and showing up for class.

So here we are today.  My efforts over the last few years in pursuing my passions and aspirations around dancing, writing, coaching and speaking have landed me in an extraordinarily busy life, one that’s much more fulfilling than the uni-dimensional medical life I started out with about ten years ago, before all this transformation took place. Yet for the last few months I’ve been feeling like I spend most of my time at bat, with dozens of balls flying in at me, one after the other.  I go through my days trying to keep up with these balls as they fly in, trying to hit them as masterfully as I can without getting hit or striking out.

Life has become more about managing its demands, rather than consciously and deliberately creating it. Reactive, instead of proactive and creative. Can you relate to this?

Meanwhile, sitting alone, behind me in the stands, is my dream.  I know that it’s there, I know exactly what it looks like, yet I’m so busy playing this ball game (that I started, no one made me stand here) that I don’t even have time to turn my head and make eye contact with it, much less have a meaningful conversation about the future.

Today, I made the decision to put the bat on auto-pilot, leaving it mounted in a stand at home base, and I’ll run up there periodically to hit back the most important balls as they come in.  The rest will likely end up hitting the ground or the back of the batting cage, but that’s ok.  From now on I’m going to spend every second I can in the relative calm of the stands, hanging out with and making serious plans with my dream.  We’re moving forward together this time, single-mindedly – I’m determined not to abandon it, or push it into “someday” again.

Does your life feel so busy that you hardly have time to stop and really think about what you want from life?

Where in your life have you gotten stuck halfway?  Perhaps you’ve never even started, but you know exactly what it is that you need to start.

Do you know what you want from life, like I do, and simply need to make the decision to stop the madness and get focused?

ADVERTISEMENT

It’s so easy to be doing, doing, doing as we go through life, without really accomplishing any one thing that’s significant.

Our world is designed around a short attention span: thirty second commercials, fast food, 140 character tweets, 2 minute YouTube videos.  There are so many distractions, so many things to keep up with, that we’re all at risk of never delving deeply into any one thing, lulled into a false sense of accomplishment by busyness.

What have you started, or longed to start, that you need to take all the way?

I fear end of life regrets, and I don’t want to get to the end of my life without having done this one thing – especially if I were to learn, when leaving this life, that just a bit more consistent effort would have gotten me everything I felt my heart longing for.

Susan Biali is a physician and author of Live a Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You. She blogs at her self-titled site, Dr. Susan Biali, MD.

Submit a guest post and be heard on social media’s leading physician voice.

Prev

If you want good pediatric care, stay away from retail clinics

April 11, 2011 Kevin 79
…
Next

When a patient evokes an emotional reaction from a physician

April 11, 2011 Kevin 11
…

Post navigation

< Previous Post
If you want good pediatric care, stay away from retail clinics
Next Post >
When a patient evokes an emotional reaction from a physician

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Susan Biali Haas, MD

  • Understanding your personal risk factors for burnout

    Susan Biali Haas, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Give life a chance to amaze you with what’s possible

    Susan Biali Haas, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Learn to understand and interpret your body’s language

    Susan Biali Haas, MD

More in Physician

  • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • When life makes you depend on Depends

    Francisco M. Torres, MD
  • Implementing value-based telehealth pain management and substance misuse therapy service

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • How an insider advocate can save a loved one

    Chrissie Ott, MD
  • A powerful story of addiction, strength, and redemption

    Ryan McCarthy, MD
  • Why reforming medical boards is critical to saving patient care

    Kayvan Haddadan, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Love, birds, and fries: a story of innocence and connection

      Dr. Damane Zehra | Physician
    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why physician strikes are a form of hospice

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Physician
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Could ECMO change where we die and how our organs are donated?

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Conditions
    • Every medication error is a system failure, not a personal flaw

      Muhammad Abdullah Khan | Meds
    • From Civil War tales to iPhones: a family history in contrast

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Conditions
    • Reframing self-care as required maintenance for physicians [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 14 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Love, birds, and fries: a story of innocence and connection

      Dr. Damane Zehra | Physician
    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why physician strikes are a form of hospice

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Physician
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Could ECMO change where we die and how our organs are donated?

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Conditions
    • Every medication error is a system failure, not a personal flaw

      Muhammad Abdullah Khan | Meds
    • From Civil War tales to iPhones: a family history in contrast

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Conditions
    • Reframing self-care as required maintenance for physicians [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Stop and really think about what you want from life
14 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...