Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

How do the elderly become more resilient?

Bobbi Emel
Patient
March 8, 2012
Share
Tweet
Share

Several months ago while visiting my ninety-eight-year-old grandmother, I knelt down next to her chair and looked her in the eyes.

“Grandma,” I said with mock seriousness, “I think you’re finally getting old.”

She laughed. “Well, yes, I think I finally am!”

In some ways, I wasn’t kidding. My grandmother has always been active and fit, gleefully turning a somersault for her five-year-old great-grandson when she was seventy-five. Taking care of “the old people” at her senior apartment complex well into her late eighties. Buzzing around the crowded room for her ninety-fifth birthday party, chatting and joking with her friends.

Then, suddenly, she got old. Her voice weakened and she finally started using a walker for balance. I could see the difference in her eyes: Once bright and curious, they now had softened into a gaze of subtle resignation.

“Grandma,” I asked her, “Do you want to live to be a hundred?”

She thought about it for a moment.

“Well, I do,” she said with a mischievous glint returning to her eyes, “But I don’t want to live the two years in between to get there!”

That weekend of my visit, I continued to watch her and think about her long, long life. Always an in-command person, what must it be like for her now that she is, as researchers term it, “the oldest of the old” and having to rely on others?

I reviewed some current research to learn about resiliency and the elderly. How do they adapt to the aging process with its cascading losses – physical, mental, and personal? How do they bounce back? What can we do to help them become more resilient?

Like many of us, resilient old people utilize flexibility and adaptation skills to bounce back from difficulty. Except they seem to use more of it because of the consistent nature of change in their lives as they age. They seem to be champions at letting go of previous physical and mental abilities and, in so doing, continually redefine themselves and adapt to what is a “new normal” for them.

Here are four other components of resilience among the elderly that we can both emulate and help those less-resilient seniors to achieve.

1. A sense of belonging.  While many senior communities promote activities, it appears that this is not enough. Old people, like younger ones, desire to be a part of something, to feel like they belong. Service providers (including caregivers) therefore may consider not only providing activities, but also creating communities involving groups of people with common interests and goals.

ADVERTISEMENT

2. Creating meaning through personal memories and life reviews. Elderly people who pursue personal growth as they age tend to be more resilient in the face of changes. Creating meaning and purpose around the events in one’s life is an effective way to promote growth and, for older people, this can be accomplished through the use of life reviews. A facilitator assists the person to recall their memories and discuss the meaning in events that have occurred throughout her life.

3. Dependence. While dependence is not valued in younger years, resilient seniors are able to re-value dependence as a way for them to adapt to their changing circumstances. It is helpful when they can see that whatever they are still able to offer is a good exchange for depending on others for certain assistance. Service providers may want to emphasize this quid pro quo concept.

4. Openness. This refers to the ability to change and adapt – to be open to new ideas, values, and experiences. Helping seniors to reframe loss and change as a means of redefining oneself may assist in generating more openness. Service providers can also help by acknowledging the openness they perceive in the people they serve.

Although she teased about living  the next two years to reach one-hundred, my grandmother continues to inspire me with her ability to adapt and change. She gave up her driver’s license at age eighty-four but learned how to use the bus system so she could still help the “old people” get to their medical appointments. She is a long-time member of her church and feels at home there within a loving community.

And she consistently astonishes me with her openness to her changing world. Although she does not like her shrinking independence, she adjusted to using a walker and is comfortable taking my arm for stability when needed. And she still roots on her beloved Seattle Mariners even though life experience there has sometimes been disappointing.

We can learn a lot from our elders.

Bobbi Emel is a psychotherapist who blogs at Bounce Blog.

Submit a guest post and be heard on social media’s leading physician voice.

Prev

Does leaving against medical advice stick patients with a bill?

March 8, 2012 Kevin 11
…
Next

How to prep for a successful colonoscopy

March 9, 2012 Kevin 4
…

Tagged as: Geriatrics

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Does leaving against medical advice stick patients with a bill?
Next Post >
How to prep for a successful colonoscopy

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Bobbi Emel

  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Do positive emotions increase life satisfaction?

    Bobbi Emel
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Your worst days can bring out your best resiliency skills

    Bobbi Emel
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Making life meaningful despite a debilitating disease

    Bobbi Emel

More in Patient

  • AI’s role in streamlining colorectal cancer screening [PODCAST]

    The Podcast by KevinMD
  • There’s no one to drive your patient home

    Denise Reich
  • Dying is a selfish business

    Nancie Wiseman Attwater
  • A story of a good death

    Carol Ewig
  • We are warriors: doctors and patients

    Michele Luckenbaugh
  • Patient care is not a spectator sport

    Jim Sholler
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why flashy AI tools won’t fix health care without real infrastructure

      David Carmouche, MD | Tech
    • Key strategies for smooth EHR transitions in health care

      Sandra Johnson | Tech
    • 2 hours to decide my future: How the SOAP residency match traps future doctors

      Nicolette V. S. Sewall, MD, MPH | Education
    • Reassessing the impact of CDC’s opioid guidelines on chronic pain care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • When the diagnosis is personal: What my mother’s Alzheimer’s taught me about healing

      Pearl Jones, MD | Conditions
    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • My journey from misdiagnosis to living fully with APBD

      Jeff Cooper | Conditions
    • “Think twice, heal once”: Why medical decision-making needs a second opinion from your slower brain (and AI)

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • How to survive a broken health care system without losing yourself [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why some doctors age gracefully—and others grow bitter

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • What the research really says about infrared saunas

      Khushali Jhaveri, MD | Conditions
    • How the cycle of rage is affecting physicians—and how to break free

      Alexandra M.P. Brito, MD and Jennifer L. Hartwell, MD | Conditions
    • Why ADHD in adults is often missed—and why it matters [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 7 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why flashy AI tools won’t fix health care without real infrastructure

      David Carmouche, MD | Tech
    • Key strategies for smooth EHR transitions in health care

      Sandra Johnson | Tech
    • 2 hours to decide my future: How the SOAP residency match traps future doctors

      Nicolette V. S. Sewall, MD, MPH | Education
    • Reassessing the impact of CDC’s opioid guidelines on chronic pain care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • When the diagnosis is personal: What my mother’s Alzheimer’s taught me about healing

      Pearl Jones, MD | Conditions
    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • My journey from misdiagnosis to living fully with APBD

      Jeff Cooper | Conditions
    • “Think twice, heal once”: Why medical decision-making needs a second opinion from your slower brain (and AI)

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • How to survive a broken health care system without losing yourself [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why some doctors age gracefully—and others grow bitter

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • What the research really says about infrared saunas

      Khushali Jhaveri, MD | Conditions
    • How the cycle of rage is affecting physicians—and how to break free

      Alexandra M.P. Brito, MD and Jennifer L. Hartwell, MD | Conditions
    • Why ADHD in adults is often missed—and why it matters [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

How do the elderly become more resilient?
7 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...