Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The dystopia of modern medicine

Jordan Grumet, MD
Physician
October 1, 2015
Share
Tweet
Share

He had been educated at the finest universities.  He had graduated cum laude, or whatever the term is they use nowadays to signify distinction.  His pedigree was squeaky-clean.

But as he haltingly entered the dark building at the end of an otherwise unexceptional suburban street, he felt more like a criminal than a scholar.  His office was drab.  Each room was glowing with the artificial light provided by an incandescent bulb.  He often wondered whether the lack of windows was to keep the light from piercing the imperturbable darkness or to trap the terror in.

He knew his place.  He was the last stop on a frightful train line that ended in horror.  There was no solace.  His clients never dreamed of needing his services, and yet they came.  Without fail, they averted their eyes to hide the excruciating pain and loss.  He met them in life’s basement.  In a lonesome quagmire, he helped them wade through the morass.

In his younger years, his work clung to his back even outside the office.  He awoke from nightmares of the vilest kind.  Remnants of the day stuck to his clothing.  He tried to scrub and scrub, but they refused to fade away.  A sort of blackness pervaded his waking hours.

It was in this acrid garden that a certain soullessness grew and flourished.  He found that he could approach his clients with a coldness that became rather comforting.  Empathy wouldn’t pull them through the manure-laden pit that they found themselves trapped in.  His voice, certain and clinical, could.

As the years passed, his body bent and his haired thinned.  Years of tumult left scars that were far passed the point of healing.  From time to time, he found himself wandering through the office on the weekends, or in the evening when no one in particular was scheduled to visit.

He sometimes felt lost amongst his family and friends.  He occasionally had bouts of agoraphobia at home with all the light and windows.

He left the office cautiously every day and found the outside world to be a place that was no longer black nor white but filled with incomprehensible shades of gray.

And that terrified him.

Most of all.

Jordan Grumet is an internal medicine physician who blogs at In My Humble Opinion. Watch his talk at dotMED 2013, Caring 2.0: Social Media and the Rise Of The Empathic Physician. He is the author of I Am Your Doctor: and This Is My Humble Opinion.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Want to become a doctor? Don't be so sure.

October 1, 2015 Kevin 78
…
Next

The surprising reason behind an early refill of alprazolam

October 2, 2015 Kevin 6
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Want to become a doctor? Don't be so sure.
Next Post >
The surprising reason behind an early refill of alprazolam

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jordan Grumet, MD

  • The man who changed the world with baseball cards

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A hospice doctor’s advice on getting your finances in order

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A story of persistence in the face of death

    Jordan Grumet, MD

Related Posts

  • How social media can advance humanism in medicine

    Pooja Lakshmin, MD
  • Why academic medicine needs to value physician contributions to online platforms

    Ariela L. Marshall, MD
  • The difference between learning medicine and doing medicine

    Steven Zhang, MD
  • KevinMD at the Richmond Academy of Medicine

    Kevin Pho, MD
  • Medicine rewards self-sacrifice often at the cost of physician happiness

    Daniella Klebaner
  • Medicine won’t keep you warm at night

    Anonymous

More in Physician

  • The quiet grief behind hospital walls

    Aaron Grubner, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    How to advance workforce development through research mentorship and evidence-based management

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • The truth about perfection and identity in health care

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • Civil discourse as a leadership competency: the case for curiosity in medicine

    All Levels Leadership
  • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

    Ralph Messo, DO
  • Why the heart of medicine is more than science

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • FDA delays could end vital treatment for rare disease patients

      GJ van Londen, MD | Meds
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • The quiet grief behind hospital walls

      Aaron Grubner, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • Bundled payments in Medicare: Will fixed pricing reshape surgery costs?

      AMA Committee on Economics and Quality in Medicine, Medical Student Section | Policy
    • How Project ECHO is fighting physician isolation and transforming medical education [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why clinical research is a powerful path for unmatched IMGs

      Dr. Khutaija Noor | Education
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 3 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • FDA delays could end vital treatment for rare disease patients

      GJ van Londen, MD | Meds
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • The quiet grief behind hospital walls

      Aaron Grubner, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • Bundled payments in Medicare: Will fixed pricing reshape surgery costs?

      AMA Committee on Economics and Quality in Medicine, Medical Student Section | Policy
    • How Project ECHO is fighting physician isolation and transforming medical education [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why clinical research is a powerful path for unmatched IMGs

      Dr. Khutaija Noor | Education
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The dystopia of modern medicine
3 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...