Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The unsettling incongruity of a medical student’s “lucky” day

Connie Shi
Education
October 30, 2015
Share
Tweet
Share

“She has a pneumothorax. You ever placed one of these before?”

The senior resident handed me a chest tube. An intern who had been standing nearby smiled and quipped, “It’s your lucky day.”

Three weeks into my surgery rotation — my first rotation of third year — I was taking a night shift in the emergency room when paramedics wheeled Ms. P into the trauma bay, frail and bruised, hardly breathing. Oftentimes, too many individuals are involved in codes for medical students to participate much in the patient’s initial survey, so I was surprised by the resident’s offer. In that moment, I would have been tempted to agree with the intern. I couldn’t deny the excitement I felt at the opportunity to try a procedure I had only read about and observed. Wasn’t this what I’d been working toward for so long — to finally practice clinical medicine as a third year?

Yet when I looked over at Ms. P, her tiny frame overwhelmed by innumerable lines and tubes, panic and distress unavoidable in her gaze, I felt a pang of sadness and guilt. If this was a “lucky day” for me, it most certainly was not the case for her. The circumstances that proved calamitous for her were now providing me a significant opportunity in the course of my clinical training.

It was an unsettling incongruity.

In third year, the memorable “firsts” of learning clinical medicine — first IVs, first intubations — interface with the most difficult periods in the lives of patients and their families.  Of the many challenges intrinsic to the transition from preclinical to clinical years, this was one that I was not particularly prepared to face.

I remember feeling elated the first time I successfully intubated a patient. My preceptors cheered me on, and the nurses in the room congratulated me. Only later in the day did the nuances of the event begin to settle in. The patient I intubated had pancreatic cancer, and it struck me that my small success, as joyous as it was for me, could not undo the patient’s grief or worry, nor could it alleviate the suffering and pain yet to come.

Prior to entering third year, upperclassmen and advisors offered tips on what’s expected of medical students on the wards, how to navigate the hospital, and how to integrate into clinical teams. But I wish I had known more about how to balance clinical learning in the context of human suffering as it evolves before me. I wish I had known more about what it means when moments of personal triumph in my training as a physician-to-be intersect with moments of unimaginable anguish for my patients. The third year means freedom from lecture halls and textbooks, but it also means navigating professional growth while remaining attuned to the raw emotion and vulnerability patients experience, minute-by-minute.

I didn’t end up placing Ms. P’s chest tube that night. The resident felt that there wasn’t enough time and decided to do it himself. I know that there will be many more opportunities for me to place my first chest tube. And when the time comes, I will cherish that milestone in my medical training — but only after remembering my patient’s vulnerability and acknowledging the privilege of learning from patients in their darkest moments.

Connie Shi is a medical student.

Prev

It's time to rethink pink during Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October 30, 2015 Kevin 1
…
Next

A cancer patient who had bad luck with clinical trials

October 30, 2015 Kevin 4
…

Tagged as: Medical school

Post navigation

< Previous Post
It's time to rethink pink during Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Next Post >
A cancer patient who had bad luck with clinical trials

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

  • You’re lucky to have a medical student in the family

    Nathaniel Fleming
  • A medical student’s first day in anatomy lab

    Joseph Azar
  • What inspires this medical student

    Jamie Katuna
  • A medical student’s first day. The memories last forever.

    Sandra Hartasanchez, MD
  • Why this medical student tutors

    Michelle Ikoma
  • A medical student finds a reason to dance

    Nikita Mittal

More in Education

  • Why medical schools must ditch lectures and embrace active learning

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • Why helping people means more than getting an MD

    Vaishali Jha
  • Residency match tips: Building mentorship, research, and community

    Simran Kaur, MD and Eva Shelton, MD
  • How I learned to stop worrying and love AI

    Rajeev Dutta
  • Why medical student debt is killing primary care in America

    Alexander Camp
  • Why the pre-med path is pushing future doctors to the brink

    Jordan Williamson, MEd
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The unsettling incongruity of a medical student’s “lucky” day
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...