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3 lessons learned from the deep end of the pool

Stephanie Wellington, MD
Physician
August 29, 2019
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Over the past few summers, I’ve noticed that I’m fearful of swimming in the deep end of the pool. Gone is the fearlessness of my youth, when I’d venture out, take risks, and somehow just know I’d make it back to the shallow end, where I could firmly stand on a solid foundation.

Somewhere along the way, I had replaced my fearlessness with what-ifs.

What if I get a cramp in my leg, and I can’t swim anymore? What if I can’t catch my breath? And what if don’t have enough energy to make it back? I think you get the idea.

And while what ifs didn’t stop me from going into the pool, they did rob me of fully enjoying the experience the way I once had.

As I thought about this, I realized that what-ifs had invaded other areas of my life, especially when it came to medicine.

Here’s one example that comes to mind. As a hospitalist in the neonatal ICU, a day doesn’t go by when I am called to the delivery room. I adopted the practice of mentally preparing myself for a possible resuscitation and visualizing the best patient outcome. I have to admit that I did have unsettled energy around it that showed up as what-ifs. I learned to keep refocusing my thoughts and energy on the desired patient outcome and push what if’s away. Thankfully most often, the best outcomes were realized, and when interventions were needed, the team and I were prepared.

I will say that what-ifs significantly contributed to the stress and worry of the day. They even prevented me from appreciating the joy of the birth of a new life.

This summer, I decided to conquer the deep end, ditch the what-ifs once and for all, and enjoy the water. I wouldn’t worry about my feet not touching the ground. I would pace myself so that I could easily swim back to the shallow end. I’d use the flotation devices and allow myself to appreciate the peace in the deep end.

I’m happy to say I accomplished it.

Here’s the lesson: The pool was the same, and the depth of the water was the same. The potential for what-ifs that I had focused on were the same. In order to enjoy the pool, I had to shift my perspective.

In shifting my perspective, I learned three things:

1. Preparing for the deep end of the pool meant assessing my physical abilities. Am I tired, or am I energized and excited to do this? It meant assessing my mental state: Do I believe I can do this? It meant checking in with my emotions: Why choose fear when faith is available?

2. There are some things I needed to release in order to move into my next level. I was holding onto thoughts and beliefs that were not allowing me to fully be present in the moment and enjoy the experience. I had to be willing to let them go.

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3. The third thing I learned is that I can be supported. Support comes in different forms. I had to be willing to admit that I needed support along the way to meet my goal.

How do we apply these three lessons to medicine?

1. Preparation. After years of education and training, we know the importance of mastering the knowledge and skills to execute as a doctor. Doctors often spend little time preparing for the emotional, mental, and spiritual exhaustion that medicine takes on our minds, body, and soul. What daily practices can you easily put in place to prepare for the day ahead?

2. Release. What thoughts and beliefs are keeping you stuck in place, making it difficult to achieve your professional and personal goals? We all have them. We have to be willing to let them go in order to grow into our next level of success and happiness.

3. Support. It is time for doctors to acknowledge our areas of expertise and then accept support for the rest.

While we wait for a new culture and climate in medicine to emerge, new experiences are possible when we let go of the what-ifs.

Physician wellness and work-life balance are hot topics in today’s medical arena. They are on the minds of medical students, residents, and physicians in practice. While the concepts and methods to achieve them are enticing, the question remains: How does the individual physician achieve them? Some believe that system-wide changes in medicine will get doctors closer to these goals. Then there are the supporters of strategies that physicians can implement to shift their mindset as the first step toward their goals.

Personally, I believe the answer lies in a combined approach. Let’s face it: Not every change in the work environment will appeal to all professionals. I like the idea of being empowered to create a career that blends in nicely with my life rather than leaving it to others who do not fully understand my needs.

How does a doctor educated and trained in a system that puts everyone else and everything else first make the shifts and become part of the creative process? Here are ten telltale signs that you’re a physician in need of a mindset shift as the first step toward physician wellbeing and work-life balance.

1. You followed the clear path from medical school to residency training to an amazing attending position and find yourself asking: “Now what?”

2. You have a great work ethic, are often willing to cover for a colleague and receive fantastic evaluations but little meaningful feedback for your next level of growth.

3. You experience success, but in between the success you live in the valley feeling like an imposter: not good enough and suffer from wavering self-confidence.

4. You are not experiencing what you truly desire in your life and career despite changing positions, roles, and even location.

5. You are in a rut, want a way out, but don’t want anyone to tell you what to do.

6. You feel guilty that your life and career are flowing while you watch colleagues struggle, so you downplay and minimize your achievements and fail to celebrate them.

7. You quickly join the water cooler conversations about what’s not working in health care.

8. Your inner critic takes center stage in most conversations.

9. You lack the life skills and strategies to manage the inherent stress of caring for sick patients that will promote your well-being, so instead, you focus on the problems of the current climate in medicine.

10. You silence and ignore your intuition and the inner voice that tries to get your attention and guide you toward your next level, personally and professionally.

The first step to change is to recognize the signs that a shift is needed.

It’s a powerful step. Without it, doctors can change jobs and positions and decrease the number of shifts worked and still find themselves no closer to the work-life balance and wellbeing they read about and crave.

Our thoughts and beliefs must align with what we desire to achieve in this new era when medicine finally acknowledges the importance of physician life.

Stephanie Wellington is a physician, certified professional coach, and founder of Nurturing MDs, dedicated to guiding physicians from stress and overwhelm to ease and flow in the demanding medical field. She empowers clinicians to infuse new energy into their careers and reconnect with their identities beyond the stethoscope. She can also be reached on Facebook and LinkedIn.

She is a speaker, author, and recipient of the Excellence in Teaching Award. If stress and overwhelm are part of your practice, get started with the free guide: “15 Ways to Infuse New Energy.”

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

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