“I was first diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a preteen after my teenage sister died. I attempted suicide three years later. This would be the first of several attempts and the first of countless times I felt my life was not worth living. But I am not unique.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), 1 person dies by suicide every 11 minutes.
My depression is like a chronic autoimmune disease — constitutively present at a low level with flares. But there’s no Humira for depression.
At baseline, I am exhausted, anxious, lacking motivation, and full of self-doubt. When severely depressed, I am at the bottom of the sea, struggling to breathe and unable to swim. I am paralyzed by a high-pressure, heavy and humid darkness. Through physical or mental isolation, I may not see another living creature for hours, days or weeks. I can look up and see the sun shining beyond the water surface, but the surface is miles beyond my reach. I must physically force myself to breathe as my mind tells me to stop. Trying to take a test, see patients or study can prove impossible.”
This anonymous medical student shares her story and discusses her KevinMD article, “Surviving medical school with depression.”
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Hosted by Kevin Pho, MD, The Podcast by KevinMD shares the stories of the many who intersect with our health care system but are rarely heard from.
