Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Finding peace through surrender: a personal exploration

Dympna Weil, MD
Physician
March 21, 2023
Share
Tweet
Share

Words are everything.

They carry energy. They are the currency of our connection to each other. They are the currency through which we will share with future generations; they are how we communicate with people in generations past. And they carry weight in terms of how we speak to ourselves.

When we begin to grow in awareness of the words we are using and the language we choose, it sometimes becomes humbling to notice. How we speak to ourselves, and the energy we are exposed to every day. The energy we are swimming in.

One word prevalent in our culture is “fight.” Sensitive to the wars happening in our world, it’s a word that often comes up in the body politic. Midterm elections have passed here in the States this fall, and now gearing up for 2024 – politicians are always talking about fighting for you. It is a phrase that has never really sat well with me; I do not need politicians to fight for me. I need them to listen and to advocate for me.

In medicine, I’ve never particularly liked the notion of fighting an illness. Because the illness is in one’s body, and it is inherently a contradiction to the very thing we seek – healing – to be fighting one’s body. It can sometimes be a harmful paradigm and rhetoric – often leaving people feeling defeated or failing when a disease progresses despite doing all they could to change the outcome.

The more I fight my body amidst my vestibular challenges, the less progress I make in my recovery. In the past, the more I fought to control things when going through my fertility treatments, the more emotionally painful it was, and the less successful the treatment outcomes were.

But when I surrendered control?

Ahh, freedom.

This all comes back to surrender and its origins in that deeply rooted, win/lose the war, battlefield-sort-of-construct.

There is a softness, a humility in surrender. We let go of our ego and turn control over in favor of our deeper inner knowing. We let go of the illusions of certainty and separateness.

When we surrender, we are embracing the possibilities of uncertainty, the power of connections, and togetherness. To ourselves. And to others.

My takeaway from the idea of surrender is to welcome it rather than view it as a sign of weakness or a loss of power.

To surrender is to empower myself.

To surrender my resistance to being me.

To surrender my resistance to having fun and surrender my resistance to accepting what is.

ADVERTISEMENT

To surrender my resistance to love.

Ultimately, the greatest gift has been to surrender my resistance to loving myself wholly, fully, and without condition.

Surrendering what I think I need – for what I deeply sense is needed at that moment.

Without judgment.

That was until my father felt ill this past autumn and early winter. As a daughter, I moved quickly into worry and judgment – of myself – that I could not show up and care for him, advocate for him the way I “should” or wanted to because of my brain fog and medical issues.

As a doctor, I was increasingly concerned over his symptoms, especially as he was a nine-year stage 4 colon cancer survivor. And while I often referred to my dad as a walking miracle, I recognized his indignant dismissal and wishful reports of symptom improvements every few days. But those were short-lived. And then those couple of days went to weeks. And those weeks became a month or two of clearer decline and weight loss, easily explained by nausea, GERD, and satiety. Reflux. Ulcers.

As he clinically declined, my doctor brain took over. And I was grateful for how it shut off the daughter brain. It was pragmatic and systematic and went into problem-solving mode. Battle mode. Plans were made. Arrangements to transfer to his prior surgical oncology team were made in hours. There was serious divine intervention. Too many moving pieces to come together so quickly to be attributed to mere coincidence. And for that, I remain grateful.

Once those arrangements were made, a surrender occurred … both from dad and me. I surrendered my worries and fears to his expert team. Dad did, too. As he was prepped for major surgery, a nurse asked him if he had any questions, and he replied calmly, “No. I have complete confidence in my doctor.”

Now if that is not surrender, I do not know what is.

I asked myself, “If I surrendered doubt, discomfort or fear, what might that free up space and energy for? What magic might I find then? What peace might I allow? Who might I be?”

Surrendering is kindness to the self. It’s loving. It is inviting in acceptance of what it is. It invites harmony and peace to our life.

It doesn’t mean we won’t take inspired action. It means that we can allow ourselves to take inspired action. And it has sometimes inspired inaction.

And we can be prepared to receive magic and peace in return.

Because we don’t have to know the exact outcome we will receive – it may even be beyond what we imagined. That is possible. Because when we surrender control, sometimes the universe will deliver even beyond what we expect.

And that seems to be increasingly what is happening.

“Surrender” might be the only word I would keep from the battlefield lexicon.

But I think it might be the most important one.

Dympna Weil is an obstetrician-gynecologist.

Prev

The struggle to fill emergency medicine residency spots: Exploring the factors behind the unfilled match

March 21, 2023 Kevin 3
…
Next

The rise of generative AI in health care: Here's what you need to know

March 21, 2023 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Oncology/Hematology, Palliative Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
The struggle to fill emergency medicine residency spots: Exploring the factors behind the unfilled match
Next Post >
The rise of generative AI in health care: Here's what you need to know

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Dympna Weil, MD

  • Less resiliency may heal burnout

    Dympna Weil, MD
  • A physician’s infertility story

    Dympna Weil, MD

Related Posts

  • Care is no longer personal. Care is political.

    Eva Kittay, PhD
  • How to develop a mission-driven personal brand

    Paige Velasquez Budde
  • The value of personal narratives in addiction treatment and integrated care

    Aine M. Greaney
  • How social media can help or hurt your health care career

    Health eCareers
  • How we can help our veterans die in peace

    Diane D. Blier, DNP
  • The solution to a crumbling primary care foundation is direct primary care

    Sara Pastoor, MD

More in Physician

  • Time theft: the unseen harm of abusive oversight

    Kayvan Haddadan, MD
  • Why more doctors are leaving clinical practice and how it helps health care

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why starting with why can transform your medical practice

    Neil Baum, MD
  • Life’s detours may be blessings in disguise

    Osmund Agbo, MD
  • Inside the heart of internal medicine: Why we stay

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Time theft: the unseen harm of abusive oversight

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • How one unforgettable ER patient taught a nurse about resilience

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • The future of clinical care: AI’s role in easing physician workload

      Michael Wakeman | Tech
    • Eric Topol explores the science of super-agers and healthy aging [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why more doctors are leaving clinical practice and how it helps health care

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Time theft: the unseen harm of abusive oversight

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • How one unforgettable ER patient taught a nurse about resilience

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • The future of clinical care: AI’s role in easing physician workload

      Michael Wakeman | Tech
    • Eric Topol explores the science of super-agers and healthy aging [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why more doctors are leaving clinical practice and how it helps health care

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...