Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

How a doctor transformed grief into personal growth

Stephanie Wellington, MD
Physician
August 23, 2024
Share
Tweet
Share

This season, I’m living even more fully into who I am behind the scrubs and stethoscope. I’m deepening my understanding of whether I’m operating in my highest energy versus operating from stress and fear.

When my mother passed away months ago, I was thrust into unbelievable grief. I looked to family and friends who had lost a parent and wondered how they got through it. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to do more than just get through it. I want to honor my mother by living even more fully—by living my best life.

I began to reflect on my life and journey in medicine. Historically, I overcommit in my career. There’s a sick call? Call me. I’ll work. There’s an uncovered shift? Yep, I’ll do it. But when life changed as dramatically as it did the moment my mom took her last breath, everything changed for me.

Reflecting on my life, I realized I’ve been asking the wrong questions. In stressful times, I silently wonder what’s wrong with me. Why am I getting upset when I see my colleagues just cruising along? Why am I triggered?

I’ve used too much time and energy looking for answers to those questions when the question I need to ask to get the deepest, most meaningful, and impactful response is: “Who am I being in medicine?”

This is the question I’m exploring now.

In the midst of patient care, I’m checking in and making sure I’m holding the highest energy for the best outcomes for the patients and family. The difference now is I serve from a place of peace and expansion, not stress and overwhelm. Rather than draining me, I have daily practices in place that nurture and nourish me.

In colleague interactions, I’ve ditched the people-pleasing and enjoy setting boundaries. I’ve realized that the most important person—in fact, the only person—who needs to know my boundaries is me. Maybe you already realized this, but for me, it’s a new discovery. I have boundaries that honor my core values. Boundaries make my yes and no more powerful. Boundaries free up energy so there’s energy available for what’s most important, whether it’s in the clinical setting, having dinner with family, or simply sitting on the couch and breathing.

I dance with opportunities and evaluate if it’s in my best interest in the short term and over the long haul. Here’s what I mean. This is my season of extreme self-care. It meant that I took more than the one week allotted for bereavement. I needed time to care for myself at my most vulnerable before I headed back to the hospital to care for people at their most vulnerable. It’s best for me and best for the patients.

Hmmm … no one ever tells us that.

In the past, I would have taken the week, forged ahead, and returned to work. In this season, I know better. I deserve better. And by extension, my patients get a better doctor.

This season, I’m owning my value more than I have ever done before. It’s not selfish. In fact, it’s necessary to be of service to patients while medicine is of service to me.

Stephanie Wellington is a physician, certified professional coach, and founder of Nurturing MDs, dedicated to guiding physicians from stress and overwhelm to ease and flow in the demanding medical field. She empowers clinicians to infuse new energy into their careers and reconnect with their identities beyond the stethoscope. She can also be reached on Facebook and LinkedIn.

ADVERTISEMENT

She is a speaker, author, and recipient of the Excellence in Teaching Award. If stress and overwhelm are part of your practice, get started with the free guide: “15 Ways to Infuse New Energy.”

Prev

From plant milk to human milk: the untapped climate solution

August 23, 2024 Kevin 0
…
Next

An inspirational journey through chemotherapy and immunotherapy [PODCAST]

August 23, 2024 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
From plant milk to human milk: the untapped climate solution
Next Post >
An inspirational journey through chemotherapy and immunotherapy [PODCAST]

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Stephanie Wellington, MD

  • Reuniting with a colleague reminded me why I love being a doctor

    Stephanie Wellington, MD
  • The quiet shift: Practicing presence in the fast-paced medical profession

    Stephanie Wellington, MD
  • How a simple habit changed my entire medical career

    Stephanie Wellington, MD

Related Posts

  • Care is no longer personal. Care is political.

    Eva Kittay, PhD
  • Applying the growth mindset to health care

    Bailey Wolding
  • How to develop a mission-driven personal brand

    Paige Velasquez Budde
  • 7 reflections on grief and personal loss as told by a medical student

    Tasia Isbell, MD, MPH
  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Why every doctor needs a translator

    Heather Hansen, JD

More in Physician

  • When errors of nature are treated as medical negligence

    Howard Smith, MD
  • The hidden chains holding doctors back

    Neil Baum, MD
  • 9 proven ways to gain cooperation in health care without commanding

    Patrick Hudson, MD
  • Why physicians deserve more than an oxygen mask

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • More than a meeting: Finding education, inspiration, and community in internal medicine [PODCAST]

    American College of Physicians & The Podcast by KevinMD
  • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

    Trisza Leann Ray, DO
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

      Trisza Leann Ray, DO | Physician
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Bureaucracy over care: How the U.S. health care system lost its way

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
  • Recent Posts

    • When errors of nature are treated as medical negligence

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Physician job change: Navigating your 457 plan and avoiding tax traps [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden chains holding doctors back

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Hope is the lifeline: a deeper look into transplant care

      Judith Eguzoikpe, MD, MPH | Conditions
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
    • From hospital bed to harsh truths: a writer’s unexpected journey

      Raymond Abbott | Conditions

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

      Trisza Leann Ray, DO | Physician
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Bureaucracy over care: How the U.S. health care system lost its way

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
  • Recent Posts

    • When errors of nature are treated as medical negligence

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Physician job change: Navigating your 457 plan and avoiding tax traps [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden chains holding doctors back

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Hope is the lifeline: a deeper look into transplant care

      Judith Eguzoikpe, MD, MPH | Conditions
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
    • From hospital bed to harsh truths: a writer’s unexpected journey

      Raymond Abbott | Conditions

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...