Busy physicians are moving so quickly we almost never stop long enough to acknowledge the subtle ways medicine reshapes us. But every physician I’ve ever coached, including myself, can name a moment when they didn’t quite feel like themselves. Maybe it was:
- An answer that came out sharper than intended.
- A conversation where you noticed your patience had run thin.
- A heaviness that you replay over and over on your commute home.
- A silence that replaced your voice.
- A numbness where empathy used to be.
These moments catch us off guard. They stay with us longer than we admit, and they make us believe there’s something wrong with us. But what if these moments aren’t signs of burnout or inadequacy? What if they are a protective mechanism designed to let us know we’re doing more and holding more than we have the capacity for?
One such moment for me was when I said, “Hello.” That was all I said, and my secret was revealed. Through the telephone receiver, I heard the nurse quickly reply, “Doc, don’t worry there’s no emergency. I just have a question.”
What had she heard in that one word that spoke volumes? That hello was loaded with the tension I felt in my being every time the cell phone rang. The tone that echoed through “hello” told of the angst and sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I braced for the details of the next emergency. It shared the stress of being the physician on a 24-hour shift, anticipating the worst every time the phone rang. And now the secret was out.
The secret that once felt like weakness was the key to renewed strength. Each time you don’t feel like yourself, your deeper self is trying to get your attention. It’s your time to check in and discover if:
- You’re tired.
- You’re overwhelmed.
- You need to breathe to regain your footing before caring for someone else.
- You can’t do this alone and need the support of the team.
- Something in you is ready to shift.
It’s an early sign of an identity that has been stretched by:
- Emotional overload.
- Constant vigilance.
- Caring for others before yourself.
- Practicing in isolation.
- Leading without support.
When you acknowledge it, you:
- Interrupt the shame.
- Loosen the grip of self-criticism.
- Reconnect with the part of you that was overshadowed.
- Begin the path back to your grounded self.
Give yourself grace. Identify a moment when you didn’t feel like yourself and ask these three questions:
- What was happening beneath the surface? Pressure, fatigue, feeling unseen, or working without support?
- Who did I become in that moment? The guarded version of me, the rushed version, or the depleted version?
- What does this moment want to teach me? “I need boundaries,” “I need to breathe,” “I need more support,” or “I need to trust myself again.”
When the emotional charge has lessened and we take the time to reflect on these moments, we access information that leads us back to who we really are.
Stephanie Wellington is a physician, certified professional coach, and founder of Nurturing MDs, dedicated to guiding physicians from stress and overwhelm to ease and flow in the demanding medical field. She empowers clinicians to infuse new energy into their careers and reconnect with their identities beyond the stethoscope. She can also be reached on Facebook and LinkedIn.
When Dr. Wellington integrated life coaching principles into her medical practice, her clinical experiences transformed. While she still faces long shifts, critical patients, and systemic challenges, she chooses to be solution-focused, prioritizing the best outcomes for her patients, her team, and herself. For over a decade, she has been teaching physicians the life strategies needed to transform their medical careers and optimize their well-being.
She is a speaker, author, and recipient of the Excellence in Teaching Award. If stress and overwhelm are part of your practice, get started with the free guide: “15 Ways to Infuse New Energy.”
