I proudly bear the title of “Dad,” and my daughter is five (going on 15), fiery, carefree, and unmistakably precocious, yet still my silly, innocent, sweet little girl. I imagine many girls with older brothers develop a similarly spirited personality. However, with her brothers being slightly older, I’ve watched that same innocence gradually diminish in them, as they are being slowly exposed to life’s complexities through school, friends, and their own observations. Inevitably, my daughter will too lose that sweet innocence as she grows into a young adult and woman. I do fear, as all parents do, what world my children will face, but more so, the harsher world my daughter may encounter than my sons.
My sons will navigate adolescence with freedoms often unearned but freely granted by society. As they approach adulthood, they may enjoy a sexual liberty afforded for men and not women, and their mistakes will often be chalked up to youthful promiscuity, and likely bear minimal consequences. My daughter will likely never have that experience. The world my daughter will inhabit is starkly different. It is a world that has intensified the scrutiny and control over female bodies. As she grows, her rights to make decisions about her own body are increasingly constrained, her autonomy over her reproductive health curtailed. This inequity is not just a matter of policy and culture but of personal freedom, affecting how she will live her day-to-day life and plans for her future.
I also wear the mantle of “Doctor.” As both a father and a physician, I cannot separate these fears from the realities I witness in my clinic. I’ve witnessed the myriad of complications that can affect women during normal childbearing situations, conditions that men will never have to face. The physical toll and medical risks associated with pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum recovery are significant. Once healthy pregnancies can develop life-changing and threatening complications such as preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and severe postpartum depression, and the risk of severe injury or death is sadly becoming more frequent in this country. [Image of preeclampsia signs and symptoms]
In obstetrics, there is a saying: “There is no such thing as a low-risk pregnancy.” It is a pearl of wisdom passed to me from generations of physicians who knew, at any time, threats could emerge and moments of joy can shift to terror. I hope these situations never arise for anyone, but I know eventually it will for someone. It is an ever-present danger. All of these are worries my sons will never carry, a luxury afforded to them by biology, to never risk their life in childbirth. Whether all protective measures are employed or not, my daughter will always bear this burden.
The essence of personal choice and tailored, individual medical advice is something I promote with each of my patients. I would argue, all physicians do this with each individual visit to advocate for equitable health care for everyone’s unique needs. In nearly every facet of health care, patients are encouraged to make deeply personal medical decisions with their own treatment options, and each patient has a right to that choice, whether I agree with them or not. It is their life, and I can only guide them. My sons will have the inviolable right to make informed decisions about their own bodies without interference, but now reflecting on the three years since the Dobbs decision, it is clear my daughter will not.
How do I reconcile the freedoms I enjoyed as a man, and that my sons too will likely experience, with the restrictions placed upon my daughter? How can I support her in a society that may now penalize her for the very same actions that would carry no significant consequences for her brothers?
The double standard is glaring and unjust. And while I cannot change nature or biology, I had thought at one time that we were moving toward a society that was more equitable for all my children. All of this has left me at a crossroads in a society that cherishes both liberty and equality.
Liberty is essential for ensuring that individuals can access personalized medical advice and make health decisions without coercion. This approach respects each person’s autonomy by avoiding policies that dictate or limit their health choices. Upholding this principle guarantees that individuals can manage their health according to the most informed and tailored medical advice available. This commitment reinforces the core values of personal liberty and self-determination.
Biology has ensured that, in this matter, men and women can never be truly equal. Equality gives everyone the same rules; equity ensures everyone has the same chance. By acknowledging and addressing systemic inequalities and disparities and providing varying levels of support and resources, we can ensure that everyone has more equal opportunities and all individuals can participate fully and fairly.
In the end, as a father and a physician, my job is not only to heal but to advocate, educate, and support. For me, navigating these struggles begins at home, and it involves having candid discussions with all my children about responsibility, respect, and the repercussions of their actions. I will lament the days they lose their naive and innocent childish view of the world, but hope to see them mature as thoughtful, respectful, and empathic adults. I know they will face challenges I have never encountered and they will make decisions I disagree with. But I pray that they are all given the freedom to make the best choices for themselves, so that a fiery, carefree, silly, and sweet little girl has every chance to still be a fiery, carefree, silly, and sweet woman unbroken by inequity.
Travis Walker is a family physician.
