How to do a no hands-on physical in 3 minutes (or less)

Step 1: Greet patient.
Step 2: While chatting, check all boxes in electronic medical record for a complete review of systems and physical exam. Copy and paste parts of previous chart note while looking at patient every once in a while. Smile if possible.
Step 3: Tell patient to do yoga.
Step 4: Bill insurance company for complete physical exam.
Welcome to big box assembly line medicine.
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