Leslie Mattson is an internal medicine physician.
About a month ago, I had just finished hospital rounds when I heard “code active threat” on the overhead intercom. Thinking it was a drill, I continued typing patient notes until I heard a more urgent: “Please barricade in place or, if able, evacuate the premises immediately.”
My heart raced as I quickly weighed my options: barricade myself alone in the physician lounge or run to the parking garage, risking the …
It’s been five days since I’ve been able to sleep. My two-month-old daughter coos softly in her bassinet. My husband sleeps soundly next to me. But I lay awake, hijacked by thoughts that I am a bad mother, wife, and doctor. This unwanted torment consumed me. All I wanted was to remain still and make this stop.
I lay awake; time stands still.
I am swept by flash currents beyond my control.
I …
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