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Christmas Day, 2009: "Just a carrot for me, please."

Stanford University researchers have identified a hormone that suppresses appetite!

Named “obestatin” (how apropos), when injected into rats it suppressed their food intake. [How’d you like to be the graduate student assigned to collect those data?]

One expert, though, is sounding a note of caution on these exciting findings:

“The effect of obestatin on body weight seems to be relatively limited, said Professeor Matthias Tschop of the University of Cincinnati. “Also, it might cause some sort of illness or nausea that causes a decrease in food intake.”

Now there’s a novel idea – prescribe a hormone for overweight patients that makes them sick and vomit. We oncologists certainly agree that this strategy works; in fact in our universe we see it every day.

We call it cancer.

In case you still think you can eat anything you want and weigh as much as you can possibly fit on your human frame, perhaps you should read this. Then go and read this.

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