Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Why doctors shouldn’t leave their emotions behind

Michael A. Zadeh, MD
Physician
June 28, 2011
Share
Tweet
Share

Part of the reason I became a physician was because I got tired of watching those close to me as they suffered through illness and eventually died, while I stood helplessly by, unable to do a thing.

Throughout my training I watched as my mentors interacted with their patients, displaying a political correctness matched with just enough outward emotion so that there was no telling the difference between the good news and the bad.

“Don’t let your emotions get too involved” and “Never take those feelings home with you” were things I heard often. Yet there are some patients and families that you can’t help but get attached to. You endure the ordeal with them. In a sense you become part of the family. So as much as I respected my mentors, I let those words go in through one ear and out the other. I treat every patient as if they were a member of my family. It helps remind me why I went into medicine in the first place.

Its not until you go into practice, and step into the shoes of your mentors, that you realize what a sharp double edged sword this relationship is. There is no better feeling than the elation and pride you feel as you watch a patient who entered your life with one foot in the coffin, walk out of the hospital on his own two feet. Sometimes it may take days, sometimes it may take months, but there comes a point where your treatment transcends medicine and you find yourself praying with the families, encouraging the patients, and instilling hope in everyone that anything is possible.

On the other hand, there is no greater pain than those rare occasions in which you lose a patient without an adequate explanation. Whether its an elderly lady who’s life you spent a month saving only to have her suddenly pass away days before her scheduled release, or a young healthy female who walks into the hospital with a seemingly common problem yet fails to survive just days after surgery, it never gets any easier dealing with the loss. Complications happen. They happen to anyone. But you never expect them to end like this. And you don’t always have the answers why. That’s what I hate the most. Sometimes you find yourself in your pre-medical school days, standing helplessly by, unable to do a thing. The shock leaves you at a loss for words.

Many people think physicians are without emotions. That they have to be in order to get by. Not me. Just as I celebrate those lives that are saved, I also grieve and mourn those that are lost. Sometimes I can’t help but take that grief home with me. Luckily I have an amazing wife who understands and is a great source of support. No matter how great a surgeon I become, or how many lives I save, there will always be a few which I won’t be able to save … and those are the ones I will never forget.

Michael A. Zadeh is a general surgeon and can be reached at Zadeh Surgical, Inc.

Submit a guest post and be heard on social media’s leading physician voice.

Prev

Avoiding confrontations and the difficulty of standing up for yourself

June 28, 2011 Kevin 8
…
Next

How ordering tests sometimes have consequences for patients

June 28, 2011 Kevin 4
…

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Avoiding confrontations and the difficulty of standing up for yourself
Next Post >
How ordering tests sometimes have consequences for patients

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Michael A. Zadeh, MD

  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    The value of a mentor during medical training

    Michael A. Zadeh, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Physician characteristics that are universally appreciated

    Michael A. Zadeh, MD

Related Posts

  • Doctors die. But the good ones leave a legacy.

    Jaime B. Gerber, MD
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • What baseball can teach doctors

    Michael L. Millenson
  • More physician responsibility for patient care

    Michael R. McGuire
  • Why do doctors who hate being doctors still practice?

    Kristin Puhl, MD
  • Paid parental leave is long overdue

    Catherine Spaulding, MD

More in Physician

  • Why some doctors age gracefully—and others grow bitter

    Patrick Hudson, MD
  • The hidden incentives driving frivolous malpractice lawsuits

    Howard Smith, MD
  • Mastering medical presentations: Elevating your impact

    Harvey Castro, MD, MBA
  • Marketing as a clinician isn’t about selling. It’s about trust.

    Kara Pepper, MD
  • How doctors took back control from hospital executives

    Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD
  • How art and science fueled one woman’s path to medicine

    Amy Avakian, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
    • When the diagnosis is personal: What my mother’s Alzheimer’s taught me about healing

      Pearl Jones, MD | Conditions
    • 2 hours to decide my future: How the SOAP residency match traps future doctors

      Nicolette V. S. Sewall, MD, MPH | Education
    • Key strategies for smooth EHR transitions in health care

      Sandra Johnson | Tech
    • Reassessing the impact of CDC’s opioid guidelines on chronic pain care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • “Think twice, heal once”: Why medical decision-making needs a second opinion from your slower brain (and AI)

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why we fear being forgotten more than death itself

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Bureaucracy over care: How the U.S. health care system lost its way

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • How to survive a broken health care system without losing yourself [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why some doctors age gracefully—and others grow bitter

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • What the research really says about infrared saunas

      Khushali Jhaveri, MD | Conditions
    • How the cycle of rage is affecting physicians—and how to break free

      Alexandra M.P. Brito, MD and Jennifer L. Hartwell, MD | Conditions
    • Why ADHD in adults is often missed—and why it matters [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 10 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
    • When the diagnosis is personal: What my mother’s Alzheimer’s taught me about healing

      Pearl Jones, MD | Conditions
    • 2 hours to decide my future: How the SOAP residency match traps future doctors

      Nicolette V. S. Sewall, MD, MPH | Education
    • Key strategies for smooth EHR transitions in health care

      Sandra Johnson | Tech
    • Reassessing the impact of CDC’s opioid guidelines on chronic pain care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • “Think twice, heal once”: Why medical decision-making needs a second opinion from your slower brain (and AI)

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why we fear being forgotten more than death itself

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Bureaucracy over care: How the U.S. health care system lost its way

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • How to survive a broken health care system without losing yourself [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why some doctors age gracefully—and others grow bitter

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • What the research really says about infrared saunas

      Khushali Jhaveri, MD | Conditions
    • How the cycle of rage is affecting physicians—and how to break free

      Alexandra M.P. Brito, MD and Jennifer L. Hartwell, MD | Conditions
    • Why ADHD in adults is often missed—and why it matters [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Why doctors shouldn’t leave their emotions behind
10 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...