Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Blaming others for their health problems helps no one

Jennifer Middleton, MD
Physician
April 5, 2013
Share
Tweet
Share

I inherited motion sickness from my father’s side of the family.  I can’t sit in the back seat of a car for more than 10 minutes without becoming sick.  I take meclizine before every plane flight.

I inherited asthma from my mother’s side of the family.  Exposure to perfume, 90+ degree temps with 90+% humidity, or even a good laugh will all prompt me to cough.

These two maladies of mine have one thing in common – multiple people over the years have informed me that they’re “all in my head.”

Among the advice I’ve received:

“You just need to distract yourself.”

“It’s all stress.  You need to relax.”

“Yoga. Yoga will realign your energies.”

“You’re taking too much medication.  Your body is reliant on it.”

Upon hearing these statements, I rapidly cycle through the following emotions: hurt, indignation, disappointment, anger.  None of those emotions provide a good starting point for hearing this advice, which I have to admit is probably well-intended.

But, if I am honest with myself, I can’t pretend that I am not guilty of thinking some of the same things about my patients.  I get frustrated that my overweight patients continue to choose unhealthy foods and avoid exercise.  I bite my tongue when my patient with liver damage continues to drink alcohol.  Maybe blaming others makes us feel better about ourselves, and it might even make us feel that we’re invulnerable to the disease under discussion; we’re making the “right” choices, after all, and that somehow makes us superior to the afflicted person.  I am certainly guilty of those same thought processes.

When I catch myself thinking this way, I try to override these thoughts with the knowledge I gained through my studies in health behavior theory (HBT).  The basic tenet of HBT is that each individual believes that the health choices he/she makes are rational and reasonable.  These choices are usually based on 1) the priorities their environment imposes on them and 2) their beliefs about health.  For example, if a person grows up in a poor neighborhood where most people are overweight and with limited access to healthy food, this person will likely deduce that being overweight and eating fast food everyday are normative conditions.

HBT teaches that blaming others for their health problems helps no one.  Whether it’s motion sickness, asthma, mental illness, fibromyalgia, obesity, diabetes — most 21st century health conditions are due to some combination of genetics, environment, and personal choice.  Health is a combination of personal responsibility along with the luck of the genetics and environment we’re born into.

Maybe if we could spend less time on blame and more time on supporting each other – and creating healthier environments – our good intentions might result in more than just hurt feelings.

ADVERTISEMENT

Jennifer Middleton is a family physician who blogs at The Singing Pen of Doctor Jen.

Prev

Our medical education system does not tolerate emotional cracks

April 5, 2013 Kevin 2
…
Next

America is experiencing a crisis of grief

April 6, 2013 Kevin 9
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Our medical education system does not tolerate emotional cracks
Next Post >
America is experiencing a crisis of grief

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jennifer Middleton, MD

  • Should the SOAP note be changed?

    Jennifer Middleton, MD
  • Medical Jeopardy is a terrible way to learn. Here’s why.

    Jennifer Middleton, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    3 questions to ask prospective family medicine residencies

    Jennifer Middleton, MD

More in Physician

  • Why working in Hawai’i health care isn’t all paradise

    Clayton Foster, MD
  • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

    Patrick Hudson, MD
  • Why compassion—not credentials—defines great doctors

    Dr. Saad S. Alshohaib
  • Why Canada is losing its skilled immigrant doctors

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

    Maureen Gibbons, MD
  • Why screening for diseases you might have can backfire

    Andy Lazris, MD and Alan Roth, DO
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • How community paramedicine impacts Indigenous elders

      Noah Weinberg | Conditions
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Who will train the next generation of primary care clinicians without physician mentorship? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
    • The CDC’s restructuring: Where is the voice of health care in the room?

      Tarek Khrisat, MD | Policy
    • Choosing between care and country: a dual citizen’s Independence Day reflection

      Kathleen Muldoon, PhD | Policy
    • What Elon Musk and Diddy reveal about the price of power

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Conditions
    • 3 tips for using AI medical scribes to save time charting

      Erica Dorn, FNP | Tech

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 4 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • How community paramedicine impacts Indigenous elders

      Noah Weinberg | Conditions
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Who will train the next generation of primary care clinicians without physician mentorship? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
    • The CDC’s restructuring: Where is the voice of health care in the room?

      Tarek Khrisat, MD | Policy
    • Choosing between care and country: a dual citizen’s Independence Day reflection

      Kathleen Muldoon, PhD | Policy
    • What Elon Musk and Diddy reveal about the price of power

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Conditions
    • 3 tips for using AI medical scribes to save time charting

      Erica Dorn, FNP | Tech

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Blaming others for their health problems helps no one
4 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...