Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

If only the patient had an advocate

Jordan Grumet, MD
Physician
May 1, 2013
Share
Tweet
Share

It had all been so easy when Jim was still around.  Lisa’s ex-husband had many shortcomings, but being a critical care specialist sure came in handy.  Any time her mom or dad had a health crisis, he was right there in the middle of it: advocating, interpreting, breaking down the complexities into easily digestible morsels of information.  But then Lisa’s father died, and the emotional and physical stress brought the unstable union to a breaking point.

Years later, she sat in the ICU holding her mother’s hand and longing for the man that she had grown to despise.  She felt a slight tenderness stir in her heart that was suddenly extinguished by picturing her previous husband with his new, almost teenage love interest.

Damn!

Lisa’s mother suffered another stroke.  The ventilator had been removed but her mental state was dubious at best.  She was not eating.  And the hospitalist was suggesting a feeding tube.  Lisa recoiled.  Her memories of her agitated grandmother socked away in a nursing home pulling on the plastic protruding from her abdomen was too much a burden to be replayed a generation later.

If only Dr. Phillips would come to the hospital.  As her mom’s primary care physician, Lisa trusted him.  But he abandoned his privileges years ago.  He once confided that he no longer knew how to take care of such sick patients.  Lisa missed his optimism and his gentle hand on her shoulder resting tenderly.  He understood her struggles.  The hospitalist was nice enough, but young.  He seemed overly concerned with protocol and rarely spent more than a minute in the room without leaving to answer a page.  He certainly had no advanced knowledge of the woman lying in the bed in front of him.

The family meeting was pathetic.  Instead of the hospitalist, a palliative care nurse joined the social worker and other supportive staff.  Thirty minutes later, Lisa walked out more confused than ever.  Most of the conversation resolved around disposition: nursing home, home with hospice, or rehabilitation center. Each member had their own checklist of salient decisions that often seemed far removed from her mother’s wants or needs.  There was no question who each participant worked for.  The hospital, the government, anyone except for the poor helpless struggling patient.

Lisa thought of Jim again.  If only she had an advocate.  Someone who answered to her and her mother instead of the litany of outside interested parties.  If only her doctors would lift their heads from the computer screen for just a few moments.  If only someone with medical knowledge took a moment to see the forest from the trees.

The mice keep running through the maze trying to find the elusive cheese.

Damn!

What the hell has happened to our medical system?

Jordan Grumet is an internal medicine physician who blogs at In My Humble Opinion.

Prev

Prevention isn't about saving money: It's about saving lives

May 1, 2013 Kevin 6
…
Next

Medical residents expect the data to be fed to them

May 1, 2013 Kevin 13
…

Tagged as: Palliative Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Prevention isn't about saving money: It's about saving lives
Next Post >
Medical residents expect the data to be fed to them

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jordan Grumet, MD

  • The man who changed the world with baseball cards

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A hospice doctor’s advice on getting your finances in order

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A story of persistence in the face of death

    Jordan Grumet, MD

More in Physician

  • When cancer costs too much: Why financial toxicity deserves a place in clinical conversations

    Yousuf Zafar, MD
  • The hidden rewards of a primary care career

    Jerina Gani, MD, MPH
  • Why doctors regret specialty choices in their 30s

    Jeremiah J. Whittington, MD
  • 10 hard truths about practicing medicine they don’t teach in school

    Steven Goldsmith, MD
  • How I learned to love my unique name as a doctor

    Zoran Naumovski, MD
  • What Beauty and the Beast taught me about risk

    Jayson Greenberg, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The human case for preserving the nipple after mastectomy

      Thomas Amburn, MD | Conditions
    • Nuclear verdicts and rising costs: How inflation is reshaping medical malpractice claims

      Robert E. White, Jr. & The Doctors Company | Policy
    • IMGs are the future of U.S. primary care

      Adam Brandon Bondoc, MD | Physician
    • Why I left the clinic to lead health care from the inside

      Vandana Maurya, MHA | Conditions
    • How doctors can think like CEOs [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • A surgeon’s testimony, probation, and resignation from a professional society

      Stephen M. Cohen, MD, MBA | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Health equity in Inland Southern California requires urgent action

      Vishruth Nagam | Policy
    • How restrictive opioid policies worsen the crisis

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why pain doctors face unfair scrutiny and harsh penalties in California

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
  • Recent Posts

    • Affordable postpartum hemorrhage solutions every OB/GYN can use worldwide [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • When cancer costs too much: Why financial toxicity deserves a place in clinical conversations

      Yousuf Zafar, MD | Physician
    • Psychiatrist tests ketogenic diet for mental health benefits

      Zane Kaleem, MD | Conditions
    • The hidden rewards of a primary care career

      Jerina Gani, MD, MPH | Physician
    • Why physicians should not be their own financial planner

      Michelle Neiswender, CFP | Finance
    • Why doctors regret specialty choices in their 30s

      Jeremiah J. Whittington, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 18 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The human case for preserving the nipple after mastectomy

      Thomas Amburn, MD | Conditions
    • Nuclear verdicts and rising costs: How inflation is reshaping medical malpractice claims

      Robert E. White, Jr. & The Doctors Company | Policy
    • IMGs are the future of U.S. primary care

      Adam Brandon Bondoc, MD | Physician
    • Why I left the clinic to lead health care from the inside

      Vandana Maurya, MHA | Conditions
    • How doctors can think like CEOs [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • A surgeon’s testimony, probation, and resignation from a professional society

      Stephen M. Cohen, MD, MBA | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Health equity in Inland Southern California requires urgent action

      Vishruth Nagam | Policy
    • How restrictive opioid policies worsen the crisis

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why pain doctors face unfair scrutiny and harsh penalties in California

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
  • Recent Posts

    • Affordable postpartum hemorrhage solutions every OB/GYN can use worldwide [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • When cancer costs too much: Why financial toxicity deserves a place in clinical conversations

      Yousuf Zafar, MD | Physician
    • Psychiatrist tests ketogenic diet for mental health benefits

      Zane Kaleem, MD | Conditions
    • The hidden rewards of a primary care career

      Jerina Gani, MD, MPH | Physician
    • Why physicians should not be their own financial planner

      Michelle Neiswender, CFP | Finance
    • Why doctors regret specialty choices in their 30s

      Jeremiah J. Whittington, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

If only the patient had an advocate
18 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...