Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Separating work from home life makes for happier doctors

Arsheeya Mashaw, MD
Physician
July 24, 2013
Share
Tweet
Share

One tired early morning, during my residency, I had been up all night in the ICU with a sick patient.  Exhausted I sat in the cafeteria for a quick breakfast before rounds with my attending physician. I was explaining to her how I couldn’t leave my patients side I was so worried. She looked at me like Obi-Wan Kenobi: “The sign of a good doctor is when you can’t go to sleep at night worrying about one of your patients.”

I understood what she meant. Sometimes I feel like my patients are like family. I want only the best for them.

Years later, I began my first job working in a small town. One of my first few patients Ms. Joinings, came in to see me. Whenever I saw her name on my clinic schedule I got nervous. She had every disease: heart disease, diabetes, COPD, kidney failure (and on dialysis). Basically, any simple problem could be life threatening for her. That day was no exception. According to her daughter, she was more confused.

“Dr. Mashaw,” she said with an underlying tone of anxiety, “She just isn’t acting like my Mom.”

Sometimes its easy, a patient like this can get a simple infection like a urinary tract infection and that can be the gist of it. You treat the infection and your done. To the patient, you look like Dr. House. Unfortunately, I checked for everything I could think of with Ms. Joinings and all her labs and tests were normal. I suggested that we admit her, observe her and run more tests.

The look on Ms. Joinings face was pure terror.

“There is no way I’m going to a hospital,” she said, as if I were suggesting we admit her to the funeral home.

I couldn’t blame her, she had been in and out of the hospital about 10 times in the previous four months. So we discussed her goals and decided that she go home and if she got worse she’d meet me in the emergency room.

I was worried about her. In my mind, she could crash at any moment. I had given her daughter my phone number but hadn’t really gotten any calls.

Several days later, it was the 4th of July. My family and I made our way down to town to watch the fireworks. My son grasped my hand and dragged me on. Like the Energizer Bunny, he was so excited that he couldn’t contain himself. We live in a small town and everyone was there.

About every fifth person was  someone I knew, and every tenth was a patient of mine. It was festive, along every house was a family picnicking in front, enjoying themselves. As I was dragged closer to where the fireworks would be, we walked by a front yard with a family relaxing. One of them was Ms. Joinings. She was sitting in her wheelchair smiling. If she was enjoying her family she must have been okay.

I didn’t have time to talk to her or her daughter. My son’s excitement was too strong. But we talked briefly.

“I guess you’re doing better,” I said with relief.

ADVERTISEMENT

“I felt better when left the clinic,” Ms. Joinings said with a smile on her face.

To think, I stressed about her for several days after that visit. And then it hit me. Caring so much and spending so much time on my patients is a double-edged sword. You are doing the best for your patients but, for many of us, we get burned out fast. I couldn’t enjoy my time with my family because I was so occupied with my patients. I had to have resolution from a patient before I could enjoy a 4th of July celebration with my son.

Work needs to be work and home needs to be home. For me at least, there couldn’t be a grey area. So now, I don’t give out my phone number to patients and I force myself to let my colleagues cover for me when I’m not working. I’m not the “everything doctor” I had envisioned myself as, but it has made me a happier person in the end.

Arsheeya Mashaw is a geriatrician who blogs at A Doctors Guide to Healthy Aging.

Prev

5 reasons why music would be great for digital health

July 24, 2013 Kevin 5
…
Next

Reform creates new incentives in health care

July 24, 2013 Kevin 16
…

Tagged as: Geriatrics

Post navigation

< Previous Post
5 reasons why music would be great for digital health
Next Post >
Reform creates new incentives in health care

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Arsheeya Mashaw, MD

  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    How physical therapy gave an elderly patient hope

    Arsheeya Mashaw, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Patients who pass quickly once they have given up on life

    Arsheeya Mashaw, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Why do we fear old age so much?

    Arsheeya Mashaw, MD

More in Physician

  • Why wanting more from your medical career is a sign of strength

    Maureen Gibbons, MD
  • How a rainy walk helped an oncologist rediscover joy and bravery

    Dr. Damane Zehra
  • How inspiration and family stories shape our most meaningful moments

    Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA
  • A day in the life of a WHO public health professional in Meghalaya, India

    Dr. Poulami Mazumder
  • Why women doctors are still mistaken for nurses

    Emma Fenske, DO
  • Adriana Smith’s story: a medical tragedy under heartbeat laws

    Nicole M. King, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • When did we start treating our lives like trauma?

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • First impressions happen online—not in your exam room

      Sara Meyer | Social media
    • How Gen Z is transforming mental health care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Dedicated hypermobility clinics can transform patient care

      Katharina Schwan, MPH | Conditions
    • Why ADHD in adults is often missed—and why it matters [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

      Trisza Leann Ray, DO | Physician
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
  • Recent Posts

    • How Gen Z is transforming mental health care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Nurses aren’t eating their young — we’re starving the profession

      Adam J. Wickett, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • Why wanting more from your medical career is a sign of strength

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • U.S. health care leadership must prepare for policy-driven change

      Lee Scheinbart, MD | Policy
    • Why the pre-med path is pushing future doctors to the brink

      Jordan Williamson, MEd | Education
    • Why the fear of being forgotten is stronger than the fear of death [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 16 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • When did we start treating our lives like trauma?

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • First impressions happen online—not in your exam room

      Sara Meyer | Social media
    • How Gen Z is transforming mental health care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Dedicated hypermobility clinics can transform patient care

      Katharina Schwan, MPH | Conditions
    • Why ADHD in adults is often missed—and why it matters [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

      Trisza Leann Ray, DO | Physician
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
  • Recent Posts

    • How Gen Z is transforming mental health care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Nurses aren’t eating their young — we’re starving the profession

      Adam J. Wickett, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • Why wanting more from your medical career is a sign of strength

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • U.S. health care leadership must prepare for policy-driven change

      Lee Scheinbart, MD | Policy
    • Why the pre-med path is pushing future doctors to the brink

      Jordan Williamson, MEd | Education
    • Why the fear of being forgotten is stronger than the fear of death [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Separating work from home life makes for happier doctors
16 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...