Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Her patients helped this doctor out of her despair 

Jennifer Lycette, MD
Physician
July 8, 2017
Share
Tweet
Share

Recently I found myself sitting in my car in the parking lot of my clinic, unable to will myself to open the door.

I didn’t want to head into the clinic that morning. Instead, I was filled with despair; overwhelmed with the events of the world.

How can I do it? I thought. How can I walk in there and summon the energy to see my patients?

An even worse thought: Why should I do it? What is the point in trying to heal the sick, in a broken world?

In addition to world events, I had just found out that the loved one of someone I knew had been a victim of a brutal attack: a random act of violence.

I couldn’t fathom how I would be able to walk into the clinic and face my sick, and in some cases dying, patients, and put forth to them the person they expected me to be — their doctor who believes in them, and who puts all else aside to be there for them.

As I sat there, I struggled to make some sense in my mind of recent events, but I realized, there was no sense to be made. I still didn’t feel like I would be any use to my patients, but I decided I was no good to anyone sitting in my car either.

So I went inside. I started my day, and in moments I was too busy to think about anything else. A few hours later it hit me — I was sitting with one of my patients listening to her concerns, and it was a few hours later. Without conscious thought, I had automatically stepped into my role as a physician, to put all else aside except the person behind the exam room door. And something else had happened too. The sense of despair was gone. I was filled with a sense of purpose again. The one that usually gets me through the door each morning, but I had momentarily lost.

There are many forces that can make us lose our sense of purpose, both external and internal to the world of medicine. It’s awfully hard to be a good doctor without that sense of purpose. Some might call that burnout.

Some days, it feels like it would be easier to shut down, to just stop caring. There’s too much bad out there.

But that’s exactly why we can’t stop caring.

I am often asked about my job as an oncologist, and most commonly I am asked whether it isn’t too “sad” or “depressing.” I can never quite put into words how completely opposite it is.

That morning, it was only when I briefly lost my sense of purpose, that I felt a sense of despair. The opportunity and privilege to help someone in a true time of need is about as far from despair as you can get. And I get to do it every day. As do thousands of other doctors.

ADVERTISEMENT

It turned out, while I was sitting in my car afraid the world had filled me with despair, and I wouldn’t have enough to offer my patients, I needn’t have worried: My patients are what restored me that day.

Jennifer Lycette is a novelist, award-winning essayist, rural hematology-oncology physician, wife, and mom. Mid-career, Dr. Lycette discovered the power of narrative medicine on her path back from physician burnout and has been writing ever since. Her essays can be found in The Intima, NEJM, JAMA, and other journals. She can be reached on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Mastodon.

Her books explore the overarching theme of humanism in medicine. Her first novel, The Algorithm Will See You Now (Black Rose Writing Press), a near-future medical thriller, is available now. Her second novel, The Committee Will Kill You Now, a prequel in the form of a near-historical medical suspense, is out 11/9/23 and available for preorder now in paperback and on Kindle.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

MKSAP: 60-year-old woman with substernal chest pain

July 8, 2017 Kevin 0
…
Next

We are not shielding our patients from harm

July 8, 2017 Kevin 4
…

Tagged as: Oncology/Hematology

Post navigation

< Previous Post
MKSAP: 60-year-old woman with substernal chest pain
Next Post >
We are not shielding our patients from harm

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jennifer Lycette, MD

  • The emotional toll doctors face: a book review

    Jennifer Lycette, MD
  • Beyond safety whistles and pizza: On National Doctor’s Day and every day, physicians deserve humanity

    Jennifer Lycette, MD
  • Health insurance CEOs face “prior authorization”: a taste of their own medicine?

    Jennifer Lycette, MD

Related Posts

  • Are patients using social media to attack physicians?

    David R. Stukus, MD
  • Patients made this doctor care about politics

    Chad Hayes, MD
  • You are abandoning your patients if you are not active on social media

    Pat Rich
  • Some patients are hesitant to see the doctor. Here’s how we can fix that.

    Arthur Guy
  • Physician Suicide Awareness Day: Where are the patients? 

    Jennifer M. Sweeney
  • It’s the little things that can make or break the doctor-patient relationship

    David Penner

More in Physician

  • Why more doctors are choosing direct care over traditional health care

    Grace Torres-Hodges, DPM, MBA
  • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

    Neil Baum, MD
  • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

    Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD
  • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • Why listening to parents’ intuition can save lives in pediatric care

    Tokunbo Akande, MD, MPH
  • Finding balance and meaning in medical practice: a holistic approach to professional fulfillment

    Dr. Saad S. Alshohaib
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Beyond burnout: Understanding the triangle of exhaustion [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Facing terminal cancer as a doctor and mother

      Kelly Curtin-Hallinan, DO | Conditions
    • Online eye exams spark legal battle over health care access

      Joshua Windham, JD and Daryl James | Policy
    • FDA delays could end vital treatment for rare disease patients

      G. van Londen, MD | Meds
    • Pharmacists are key to expanding Medicaid access to digital therapeutics

      Amanda Matter | Meds
    • Why ADHD in women requires a new approach [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Beyond burnout: Understanding the triangle of exhaustion [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Facing terminal cancer as a doctor and mother

      Kelly Curtin-Hallinan, DO | Conditions
    • Online eye exams spark legal battle over health care access

      Joshua Windham, JD and Daryl James | Policy
    • FDA delays could end vital treatment for rare disease patients

      G. van Londen, MD | Meds
    • Pharmacists are key to expanding Medicaid access to digital therapeutics

      Amanda Matter | Meds
    • Why ADHD in women requires a new approach [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...