Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The smallest human acts can have a lifetime of impact

Karmen Wielunski, DO
Physician
October 27, 2017
Share
Tweet
Share

My dad died on May 11, 2003. It was Mother’s Day. I was 18 years old. Those are the easy facts. The more difficult ones are those detailing the events that led to his death. My dad was so many things — a brilliant geologist, a loving father, an inventor, a pilot, and a Vietnam veteran — to name a few. He survived three tours on the front lines in Vietnam, but he didn’t come out unscathed. He was a victim of post-traumatic stress disorder and, subsequently, progressive alcoholism. Despite numerous attempts by my family to help him, and treatment in every form imaginable, we watched a truly amazing person become engulfed in a vortex of pain and sadness. One night he fell. There was intracranial bleeding, seizures, and then irreversible hypoxic brain injury. It was traumatic, unexpected, and life-changing for me and many others.

Memories and questions

I started residency more than 10 years later. Just like every other resident, I spent busy days and nights in the hospital caring for countless patients with umpteen ailments. I also spent a lot of time working in the ICU. Unsurprisingly, my ICU patients frequently triggered recollections of my dad’s last hours in a similar setting. I very vividly remember him lying on an ICU bed connected to a ventilator. He was slightly turned on his left side, and had thick, white dressings around his head. I remember a nurse entering his room and quietly saying, “Tim, I’m going to give you some Tylenol now for your fever.” At the time I thought it was odd that she was explaining this to him. At 18 years old, I knew what “no meaningful brain activity” meant, and I knew she did too. But, at the same time, her gesture was comforting to me.

The more I cared for critically ill patients during residency, the more I started thinking about the providers who took care of my dad. I wouldn’t call it critical thinking by any means — more like nonchalant, stream-of-conscious thinking as I walked from one patient unit to another. I wondered, “Were there internal medicine residents similar to myself? Were they really tired? Was there a critical care fellow? If so, was he or she a jovial fellow? I hope so – I like jovial critical care fellows.” These random thoughts continued for years. But, the more I wondered, the more apparent it became that I actually didn’t remember any of the physicians who took care of my dad. The only person I remembered was the nurse who gave him Tylenol. Initially, this was a surprising realization. In a situation where likely countless physicians, residents, students, and therapists participated in my dad’s care, how was it possible that I only remembered one person?

Humans and answers

The answer actually came to me via Twitter. In a post on September 22, 2017, Mark Reid, MD (@medicalaxioms), wrote, “When you run out of doctor things to do for the sick person, see if there are any human things you can offer.”

Though seemingly simple advice, this resonated with me. It reminded my of my dad’s nurse. Due to the severity of his injuries after his accident, we quickly ran out of medical things to do. The nurse, however, still took it upon herself to do human things. The Tylenol she had to give was medically useless, but she used its administration as a venue to express care from one human to another. She called my dad by his name. She explained to him what she was doing and why she was doing it, and she didn’t judge his situation. Even her soft tone of voice was a much-needed juxtaposition to the chaos that had occurred up to that point. Even if it took me years to fully realize it, all of this mattered to me. Actually, it still matters to me now.

I’m sure that the other members of my dad’s care team were also great. I realize that circumstance and time likely also play large roles in my inability to recollect specific people at that time. However, I do think the concept of ‘doing human things’ is important to remember throughout medical training and practice. Our chosen careers often place us in a position of being participants in difficult, life-changing events of patients and their family members. We won’t always have the answers. Even when we do have the answers, we won’t always have the solutions. But, we can always be human. And, as I can attest, even the smallest human acts can have a lifetime of impact.

Karmen Wielunski is an internal medicine chief resident who blogs at Insights on Residency Training, a part of NEJM Journal Watch.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Doctors have a responsibility to outline options. Patients make the final decision.

October 26, 2017 Kevin 2
…
Next

Residency and family: How this resident finds balance

October 27, 2017 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Hospital-Based Medicine, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Doctors have a responsibility to outline options. Patients make the final decision.
Next Post >
Residency and family: How this resident finds balance

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

  • Is health care just legal human trafficking?

    Debra Blaine, MD
  • Why health care replaced physician care

    Michael Weiss, MD
  • The medical student who had a genuine human profile

    DrizzleMD
  • Be a human first and a doctor second

    Sarah Murad
  • More physician responsibility for patient care

    Michael R. McGuire
  • How hospitals can impact generic drug companies

    Mark Kelley, MD

More in Physician

  • How doctors took back control from hospital executives

    Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD
  • How art and science fueled one woman’s path to medicine

    Amy Avakian, MD
  • In a fractured world, Brian Wilson’s message still heals

    Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA
  • Why being a physician mom is harder than anyone admits

    Cynthia Chen-Joea, DO, MPH
  • Removing vaccine advisers could jeopardize lives

    J. Leonard Lichtenfeld, MD
  • Why would any physician believe that the practice of medicine will become less abusive for them in the future?

    Curtis G. Graham, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
    • How the 10th Apple Effect is stealing your joy in medicine

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Why flashy AI tools won’t fix health care without real infrastructure

      David Carmouche, MD | Tech
    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
    • Key strategies for smooth EHR transitions in health care

      Sandra Johnson | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • How dismantling DEI endangers the future of medical care

      Shashank Madhu and Christian Tallo | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why male fertility needs to be part of every health conversation

      Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian | Conditions
    • Why health care must adapt to meet the needs of older adults with disabilities

      Lynn A. Schaefer, PhD | Conditions
    • How doctors took back control from hospital executives

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Improving patient encounters: time-saving strategies for physicians [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How art and science fueled one woman’s path to medicine

      Amy Avakian, MD | Physician
    • In a fractured world, Brian Wilson’s message still heals

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
    • How the 10th Apple Effect is stealing your joy in medicine

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Why flashy AI tools won’t fix health care without real infrastructure

      David Carmouche, MD | Tech
    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
    • Key strategies for smooth EHR transitions in health care

      Sandra Johnson | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • How dismantling DEI endangers the future of medical care

      Shashank Madhu and Christian Tallo | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why male fertility needs to be part of every health conversation

      Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian | Conditions
    • Why health care must adapt to meet the needs of older adults with disabilities

      Lynn A. Schaefer, PhD | Conditions
    • How doctors took back control from hospital executives

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Improving patient encounters: time-saving strategies for physicians [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How art and science fueled one woman’s path to medicine

      Amy Avakian, MD | Physician
    • In a fractured world, Brian Wilson’s message still heals

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...