Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • What Physicians Say
  • My Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Speaking
KevinMD.com — Social media's leading physician voice
  • All
  • Physician
  • Burnout
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • All
  • Physician
  • Burnout
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
    • All
    • Physician
    • Burnout
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • What Physicians Say
    • My Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Speaking
KevinMD.com — Social media's leading physician voice
  • All
  • Physician
  • Burnout
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
    • All
    • Physician
    • Burnout
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • What Physicians Say
    • My Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Speaking
  • About Kevin Pho, MD, Founder of KevinMD
  • Aging and dementia: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Artificial intelligence: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Be heard on social media’s leading physician voice
  • Cancer: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Children’s health: what pediatricians say, in their own words
  • Contact Kevin
  • COVID-19: what physicians wrote as it happened
  • Custom enhanced author page pricing
  • Diabetes and obesity: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Direct primary care: what physicians say, in their own words
  • DMCA Policy
  • End of life: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Establishing, Managing, and Protecting Your Online Reputation: A Social Media Guide for Physicians and Medical Practices
  • GLP-1 drugs: what physicians say about Ozempic and its successors, in their own words
  • Heart disease: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Immigration and medicine: what physicians say about immigrant doctors and immigrant patients, in their own words
  • KevinMD influencer opportunities
  • Medical errors: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Medical ethics: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Medical malpractice: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Medical school: what students and physicians say, in their own words
  • Mental health: what psychiatrists and physicians say, in their own words
  • Nursing: what nurses and physicians say, in their own words
  • Opinion and commentary by KevinMD
  • Opioids: what physicians and pain patients say, in their own words
  • Physician burnout speakers to keynote your conference
  • Physician burnout: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Physician Coaching by KevinMD
  • Physician keynote speaker: Kevin Pho, MD
  • Physician personal finance: what physicians say about their own money, in their own words
  • Physician Speaking by KevinMD: a boutique speakers bureau
  • Physician suicide: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Physicians and administrators: what physicians say about who runs medicine, in their own words
  • Primary care physician in Nashua, NH | Kevin Pho, MD
  • Primary care: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Prior authorization: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Privacy Policy
  • Private equity and corporate medicine: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Race and medicine: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Recommended services by KevinMD
  • Residency: what residents and attendings say, in their own words
  • Scope of practice: what physicians, nurse practitioners, and PAs say, in their own words
  • Subscribe to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • Subscribe to the newsletter
  • Surgeons and surgery: what surgeons say, in their own words
  • Take-home messages: what physicians say when asked to leave one
  • Terms of Use Agreement
  • Thank you for subscribing to KevinMD
  • Thank you for upgrading to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • The electronic health record: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Vaccines: what physicians say, in their own words
  • Violence against health care workers: what physicians and nurses say, in their own words
  • What physicians say: the KevinMD records
  • Women in medicine: what women physicians say, in their own words
  • Women’s health: what physicians say, in their own words

A story about building rapport with your patient

Ton La, Jr., MD, JD
Medical Education
August 1, 2019
Share
Tweet
Share

“I feel like I am going to die … I was in a major car accident last week because of blurry vision that came out of nowhere.”

Becky was one of thirty or so patients I saw at the family medicine practice on a hot day in Houston. She came in because of worsening headaches for the last six months.

“Can you describe your headaches for me?”

“Well, they cover my entire head. No particular spot where it’s worse.”

“Do you sometimes feel dizzy, or feel a sense of falling when standing?”

“I do. From time to time, I would feel that the entire room is spinning. And if I didn’t grab hold of a ledge, a countertop, or anything to keep me standing, I would fall. I fell a few times because of this.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Becky. Did something happen six months ago when you started getting these headaches?”

“Not really, no. They just started around that time. I work as an accountant and also have nephews I look after. These headaches are starting to affect me both at work and at home, and I am getting really worried…”

Catherine placed her arm around Becky.

“I know this must be hard on you, Becky. I can come back in a few minutes if you would like.”

“No, it’s OK T.J., but thank you so much. I’m OK.”

“Thank you, Becky. With these headaches, do you sometimes feel a sort of ringing in your ears?”

“I do! Every day actually … it’s like some sort of buzzing sound worse on my right ear.”

ADVERTISEMENT

“Do you feel that your sense of hearing has changed in the past six months?”

“Yes! Either my two nephews are too loud, or I am actually losing my hearing.”

After completing the history and the physical exam, I thought Becky may have Meniere’s Disease. Outside the room, I looked up its common causes, which include stress, anxiety, medication side effects, alcohol use, migraines, recent illness … Then, I read the word “trauma.”

Asking Becky about head injuries or traumatic events never crossed my mind, and I knew this was a question that I didn’t ask. I closed my laptop and knocked on the room door.

“Hi again, Becky. Is it OK if I ask you a few more questions?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you so much. In the past, did you have any injuries to the head?”

“I … well, yes …“

Her eyes immediately shifted to the ground, then we both made eye contact.

“I was married to my ex for two years and was physically abused by him. I remember he grabbed me by the throat, and throw me. He would either hit my head with his hands or with whatever object was nearby … When I said halfway through our marriage that I wanted to end it, things got worse. I no longer loved him.”

“After the divorce was finalized, I started seeing Catherine. I’ve never felt so much love from one person, and although I still have my fights with depression, things are better now. I am no longer afraid of him because he is locked away.”

I placed my right hand on top of hers.

“I am truly sorry that you went through this, Becky. I will say this: When I walked in and saw how you and Catherine look at each other, I could tell you both care for one another.”

“That’s very sweet of you to say. Becky’s not too shabby,” Catherine said playfully.

“One last question. Have you seen a neurologist or had any head imaging done in the past?”

“No to both, but I certainly want as much help as I can get to find answers.”

“Certainly. OK, I have a good idea of the next steps. Will be back in a minute with Dr. Wesley.”

“Hey T.J., how is Ms. Gonzalez doing?” said Dr. Wesley. I presented Becky to him, and he nodded after every sentence.

“That is just horrible. Has she seen doctors in the past? What do you think we should do for her today?”

“I don’t believe so, I think we should refer Ms. Gonzalez to both a neurologist and to have brain imaging done. Also to a psychiatrist.”

“Good plan, T.J. Let’s visit her.”

“Hi, again, Becky, Catherine. This is Dr. Wesley.”

“Great to meet you, Dr. Wesley,” said Becky.

“The pleasure is mine. So, T.J. told me what you both talked about. I am very sorry that you been through tough times these past two years. Have you had any contact of any sort with your ex-husband, letters, feelings of people stalking you?”

“None that I can think of. I feel very safe now, and I am with Catherine and my family every day.”

“That is wonderful. It’s good that you have a strong and loving support system. Our plan for today is to refer you to Dr. Patrick, a neurologist colleague who will help you find the answers you are looking for. Also, will refer you to Dr. Miller who specializes in psychiatry in case you want to see someone.”

“Yes, yes … thank you both so much for taking the time to listen to me. I’ve never been someone to ask for help, but it’s very comforting to know that there is help when I need it.”

“Always here for you, Ms. Gonzales. Any questions you or Catherine have for us?”

“No questions. Thank you both so much.”

Dr. Wesley and I left the room, and it was on to the next patient.

Even to this day, Becky’s story has left a deep impression on me in regards to how I approach every patient interaction. You should always take the time to build rapport with every patient because it makes asking the hard questions a bit easier when you need to ask them. Always be genuine, feel for how the conversation is going, and remember that no matter how tough their past is, there is always a plan of action to help.

All names and events have been altered to protect confidentiality.

Ton La, Jr. is a medical student and can be reached on LinkedIn.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

A physician's medical malpractice story: an introduction

August 1, 2019 Kevin 1
…
Next

Instead of speed, focus on the value of each patient encounter

August 1, 2019 Kevin 1
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

< Previous Post
A physician's medical malpractice story: an introduction
Next Post >
Instead of speed, focus on the value of each patient encounter

 

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Ton La, Jr., MD, JD

  • What hospice care really means to a grieving family

    Ton La, Jr., MD, JD
  • Pain and laughter for a veteran patient

    Ton La, Jr., MD, JD
  • Unlock the secrets to aging gracefully: specialized care and support for elderly patients

    Ton La, Jr., MD, JD

Related Posts

  • Every patient has a story

    Michele Luckenbaugh
  • Building a bond of trust between patient and physician

    Michele Luckenbaugh
  • Medical education must be patient-centered

    Christian Rubio
  • If I listen hard enough, each patient has a sacred story to share

    Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH
  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Treating the patient’s body is not synonymous with treating the patient

    Steven Zhang, MD

More in Medical Education

  • What clinical support staff notice that charts never show

    Maria Alemu
  • Learning empathy in medical school took my father’s cancer

    Sneha Dabadi
  • Monetize clinical expertise without becoming an influencer

    Justin Allan Montgomery, MSN-FNP
  • Medical infographics now look right without being right

    Shaan R. Mody
  • Clinical uncertainty is missing from medical training

    Lohithasree Bode
  • Why nearly every pre-med now takes a gap year

    Claudia Rodriguez
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Retirement isn’t the end of medicine, it’s a second act [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The conflict of interest that discloses as nothing

      Martha Rosenberg | Medications
    • Surgical judgment: the skill no one sees from the gallery

      Mustafa Kemal Çalık, MD | Physician
    • Why haven’t ambient AI scribes boosted productivity?

      Karan Kanwar | Health Technology
    • Physician well-being is not an individual problem

      Heather Buckley | Conditions and Diseases
    • Burnout isn’t only about autonomy, it’s about your bank account [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why CDC opioid guidelines get the overdose data wrong

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Retirement isn’t the end of medicine, it’s a second act [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Sensory processing in autism and the brain’s volume control

      Josette Pelatan, PhD | Conditions and Diseases
    • What maternity care deserts cost a town

      Manisha Kaliaperumal | Health Policy
    • Why medicine needs a national physician license now

      Vaishali Popat, MD, MPH | Physician
    • A cold cost $945. The cost of primary care is broken.

      Susan Newman, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Shift work and circadian rhythms shape the 24/7 workplace

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Paid for twice

      Physicians paid for G2211 twice. Most never bill it.

      Michael Duben, MD | Physician Finance
    • The next child

      Medicaid managed care and the case for mutual stewardship

      Steven Merahn, MD | Health Policy
    • Choosing a limb lengthening surgeon requires accountability

      Hrayr Basmajian, MD | Physician
    • Cited but never checked

      Why AI crisis advice may fail families facing psychosis

      Nicole Drapeau Gillen | Health Technology
    • How AI phone systems in health care create barriers

      Thuy D. Bui, MD | Health Technology

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Retirement isn’t the end of medicine, it’s a second act [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The conflict of interest that discloses as nothing

      Martha Rosenberg | Medications
    • Surgical judgment: the skill no one sees from the gallery

      Mustafa Kemal Çalık, MD | Physician
    • Why haven’t ambient AI scribes boosted productivity?

      Karan Kanwar | Health Technology
    • Physician well-being is not an individual problem

      Heather Buckley | Conditions and Diseases
    • Burnout isn’t only about autonomy, it’s about your bank account [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why CDC opioid guidelines get the overdose data wrong

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Retirement isn’t the end of medicine, it’s a second act [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Sensory processing in autism and the brain’s volume control

      Josette Pelatan, PhD | Conditions and Diseases
    • What maternity care deserts cost a town

      Manisha Kaliaperumal | Health Policy
    • Why medicine needs a national physician license now

      Vaishali Popat, MD, MPH | Physician
    • A cold cost $945. The cost of primary care is broken.

      Susan Newman, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Shift work and circadian rhythms shape the 24/7 workplace

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Conditions and Diseases
    • Paid for twice

      Physicians paid for G2211 twice. Most never bill it.

      Michael Duben, MD | Physician Finance
    • The next child

      Medicaid managed care and the case for mutual stewardship

      Steven Merahn, MD | Health Policy
    • Choosing a limb lengthening surgeon requires accountability

      Hrayr Basmajian, MD | Physician
    • Cited but never checked

      Why AI crisis advice may fail families facing psychosis

      Nicole Drapeau Gillen | Health Technology
    • How AI phone systems in health care create barriers

      Thuy D. Bui, MD | Health Technology

Copyright © 2026 KevinMD.com | Powered by Astra WordPress Theme

  • Terms of Use Agreement
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...