Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

It is overwhelming hopelessness that crushes caregivers’ collective souls

Brian Rifkin, MD
Conditions
November 9, 2020
Share
Tweet
Share

I started my medical training in the late 1990s. This was after the AIDS epidemic; that is to say, by that time, the human immunodeficiency virus was known, and there were already proven treatments. So, for doctors of a certain age, this is the first time we have battled an emerging disease. This has created a torrent of confusion and therapeutic missteps. The gold standard double-blinded, randomized, well planned, placebo-controlled truths have gone down the proverbial American Standard toilet. It had been a while since I ran a journal club and argued with others about the real-world significance of a single-center, unblinded, uncontrolled study. Still, COVID was generating a tsunami of unreviewed critical data almost daily.  Primum non nocere! Or perhaps you are a firm believer in rule 13 of The House of God: “The delivery of good medical care is to do as much nothing as possible.”  During this pandemic, I may have crossed my imagined personal boundary of clinical excellence with my desire to help in an extreme situation. In retrospect, it had unexpected positive effects that had nothing to do with the actual medical procedure.

It had come up in a hypothetical discussion with my physician group while being inundated with the coronavirus first wave. The development of hemofiltration devices connected to a hemodialysis machine was just beginning to be studied to treat bacteremia in dialysis patients. These treatments were being pioneered with the realization that antibiotic resistance was on the rise, and novel treatments to manage sepsis were needed.  During the discussion within my group, I was firmly against the use of unproven treatments. I had reviewed the available literature, and there were no positive outcome studies, not a single one.  Enter a worldwide pandemic, with the novel SARS-COV2, and the manufacturer saw an opening for a potentially wider market. Imagine my surprise when the Men in Black showed up on my doorstep.

Like something out of a sci-fi movie, two black SUVs pulled up to the hospital entrance. A single, nondescript brown box was pulled out of the tailgate by two hefty looking gentlemen. They were the epitome of government agents with dark sunglasses, earpieces, black ties, and suits. I later found out the box and its contents, 8 hemofilters, had been delivered by the state’s former governor.  The box was then handed over to the director of the intensive care unit. The hemofilters, like so many other therapeutics during COVID, had received an EUA (emergency use authorization).  They could be used with proper consent, but had circumvented the rigorous trials required to get a device through the FDA due to the crisis. The always unpredictable Fates weaving their latices plucked my string, and the call came to me. The intensive care doctor wanted to try an unproven, unstudied treatment on an ICU patient that would require nephrology know-how. I didn’t realize it, but during the initial wave of COVID, I had befriended a physician on social media who turned out to be the lead investigator on a planned study of the filters. I reached out and discussed what I would need to do and the goals of therapy. It was not intended, but it turns out that a majority of the people who ultimately received this treatment were medical personnel: doctors, nurses, EMTs. Perhaps it was easier for me to justify because medical professionals had a concept of risk versus benefit and what “unproven” really meant. We had done a half dozen treatments over several weeks, and all had gone according to plan. Most patients improved, maybe because of the treatment or maybe despite it. Some patients didn’t change, but no one got noticeably worse. Then I got the call I’d been dreading: young, female and pregnant.

The pregnancy was at the edge of viability. The patient was declining rapidly despite optimized conventional therapy. She became delirious, required intubation, and her husband became despondent. This filter was the proverbial kitchen sink. There were now two lives at stake. Did that make the risk versus benefit equation easier? If this were my wife and unborn child, what would I do? Was doing something truly better than doing nothing? The criticism of providing an unproven treatment echoed loudly in my thoughts. The medical community’s anticipated disapproval in the face of daunting illness without really knowing if proceeding could be futile or potentially harmful was almost paralyzing. In the end, my single-center, unblinded experience made me feel like doing nothing was not the best course of action. The six-hour treatment went well without complications. They built a makeshift neonatal ICU in the medical ICU in the adjoining room, a grim reminder that things could still deteriorate rapidly. This patient became the center of the ICUs consciousness. Every day I would be stopped by nurses, technicians, and staff wondering how the patient was progressing and was the baby doing well. The entire situation reminded me that it is overwhelming hopelessness more than the pain of the workload that crushes caregivers’ collective souls. As the saying goes: You can live three weeks without food, three days without water, three minutes without air, but less than three seconds without hope. I am happy to report the patient and baby recovered and were discharged from intensive care. There are still a few months until the baby’s due date. At least for today, I can take an exuberant exhale and keep hope alive.

Brian Rifkin is a nephrologist.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Election anxiety and post-election depression

November 9, 2020 Kevin 1
…
Next

The benefits of early clinical exposure in medical education

November 9, 2020 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: COVID, Infectious Disease, Nephrology

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Election anxiety and post-election depression
Next Post >
The benefits of early clinical exposure in medical education

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Brian Rifkin, MD

  • “You’re fired”: 2 words this doctor never expected to hear

    Brian Rifkin, MD
  • Is there life after medicine?

    Brian Rifkin, MD

Related Posts

  • Caregivers have the power to prevent medical error

    Elizabeth Lerner Papautsky, PhD
  • Medical brutality, social media, and collective activism

    Rupinder K. Legha, MD
  • How grit in the face of hopelessness brings out the best of the medical profession

    Claire Brown
  • The hidden curriculum of medical school can be overwhelming and unforgiving

    Prerana Chatty, MD

More in Conditions

  • Measles is back: Why vaccination is more vital than ever

    American College of Physicians
  • Hope is the lifeline: a deeper look into transplant care

    Judith Eguzoikpe, MD, MPH
  • From hospital bed to harsh truths: a writer’s unexpected journey

    Raymond Abbott
  • Bird flu’s deadly return: Are we flying blind into the next pandemic?

    Tista S. Ghosh, MD, MPH
  • “The medical board doesn’t know I exist. That’s the point.”

    Jenny Shields, PhD
  • When moisturizers trigger airport bomb alarms

    Eva M. Shelton, MD and Janmesh Patel
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

      Trisza Leann Ray, DO | Physician
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Bureaucracy over care: How the U.S. health care system lost its way

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
  • Recent Posts

    • Measles is back: Why vaccination is more vital than ever

      American College of Physicians | Conditions
    • When errors of nature are treated as medical negligence

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Physician job change: Navigating your 457 plan and avoiding tax traps [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden chains holding doctors back

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Hope is the lifeline: a deeper look into transplant care

      Judith Eguzoikpe, MD, MPH | Conditions
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

      Trisza Leann Ray, DO | Physician
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Bureaucracy over care: How the U.S. health care system lost its way

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
  • Recent Posts

    • Measles is back: Why vaccination is more vital than ever

      American College of Physicians | Conditions
    • When errors of nature are treated as medical negligence

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Physician job change: Navigating your 457 plan and avoiding tax traps [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden chains holding doctors back

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Hope is the lifeline: a deeper look into transplant care

      Judith Eguzoikpe, MD, MPH | Conditions
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...