Dear residents:

I heard the amazing news that each of you matched today. Congratulations! That is huge. You will be outstanding subspecialists!

The best part is that now you can take a deep breath and relax. The stress is over. Hopefully, you matched at your first choice, but please know that if you didn’t, it will be OK. I know the feeling. Although I was lucky to get my first choice for fellowship, I have no shame in sharing that I did not get my first choice for residency, and I remember the bittersweet feeling I had on match day. My first choice had been [Program X] for pediatric residency — and I felt I had done everything right. I had good letters, asked my attendings to make phone calls, and reached out to their program director, who responded favorably by email. I was sure I had clinched it.

You can imagine my shock when I didn’t match there. I pretended to be content, telling myself that everything happens for a reason. But deep down, I was furious with the system, with my attendings, and with their program director. The truth is the bitterness never goes away. When I was a fellow, there were numerous times I wanted to approach that residency program director and let him know he had made a mistake. Fortunately, I stopped myself each time.

This is my message to those who did not get their first, second, or third choices: It will be OK. Everything happens for a reason. It’s hard to see it that way now, but things do have a way of working out. I look back at my residency at a smaller program and realize how lucky I am that I didn’t match at [Program X] back then. The truth is that their residents seem overworked, overtired, and simply unhappy. I loved my residency and would not change anything about the experience I had. When I finished, I had all the energy in the world. I had strong relationships with attendings. I had mentors. I had amazing co-residents who are some of my best friends today. I would not change anything.

If you matched at your top choice, you should be thrilled — you did it! And if you didn’t match at your top choice, you should be just as thrilled — you did it! And I promise you this: everything will work out. I promise you that one day you will look back and be grateful it worked out this way. How successful and respected you are as a clinician is up to you, not your program. Please remember that.

I apologize if this email is raw and somewhat emotional. I could feel the palpable stress your co-residents felt during the noon conference earlier, so I felt the need to share my personal experience in case it resonates with you.

I am so, so proud of each of you. The odds always seem to feel against us. You are fighters who overcame enormous obstacles to pursue your dream. I have no doubt you will each be magnificent. You already are.

Again, congratulations.

Robert Spencer is a pediatric cardiologist.