We all know that life has its ups and downs.
And sometimes life gets really messy — and there are days and times that really suck! (No toxic positivity here.)
But we’re all just trying our best with what we have at that moment in time. (Don’t forget to give yourself some credit!)
That being said, there are also some habits that you may be (unconsciously) doing that are making your life harder than it needs to be.
Go through this list and see which one(s) may be preventing you from living a life of alignment and purpose.
1. Constantly being on your phone/device. I know it’s really hard to unplug, but of all the things and time you are spending on your phone. What percentage is really necessary and serving you? Are you missing out on life by being on your phone? Life is happening right now, at this very moment.
2. Not prioritizing your own needs. Self-care is not just about the “stuff” or pampering moments like going to get a massage. Self-care is about taking care of and nourishing all parts of your mind, body, and spirit. Your needs are yours. This means it looks different for everyone. It also means that self-care may look different for you depending on what phase of life you’re in. Are you giving yourself permission to re-evaluate and experiment?
3. Procrastinating. Do you have a lot going on in your life? A lot of hats you wear and demands to juggle? You might find yourself putting things off until “later” and waiting until the very last minute because that’s when you “get things done.” Procrastinating might feel good at the moment (get that dopamine hit!), but you’re actually adding more weight on your shoulders by delaying it because you often also have the additional layer of disappointment, frustration, anger, and shame from not doing things when you’re supposed to.
4. Not setting boundaries. Being the youngest of four daughters and the baby of the family, I was always doing what I was told and developed people-pleasing tendencies from a young age. The thing is, when you don’t speak up, nobody knows what’s actually going on in your mind. You might think they should know. But they don’t! Just like you can’t really know what’s going on in their minds either. When you don’t have strong healthy boundaries in all areas of your life, you can’t truly live the life you desire and deserve. If you’re always feeling drained and overwhelmed, it’s a sign to re-examine and recommit to your boundaries.
5. Comparing yourself to others (negatively). Do you find yourself looking at what others are doing or experiencing but using it against yourself? When you don’t have what they have, does it make you feel inadequate? You may experience this when you say things like “I should be …” Perhaps you’re making it mean that you’re not further along, not as successful, not as attractive, not as strong, and so on. If so — stop it! Everyone has their own path. You are here to be on your journey, not theirs. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
6. Not believing and trusting yourself. You’ve done a lot as an accomplished high-achiever and still have big goals and dreams. But sometimes, it can seem so far away and impossible. Ugh. That inner critic and judge starts talking, and you can’t get it to stop. You feel like things will never work out for you, and it’s just easier to stay where you are. You’re always selling yourself short and feel like you “should be grateful.” But something still doesn’t feel right. This negative thought loop cycle can keep you stuck for hours/days/months, paralyzed in indecision and fear.
So I want you to go through this list and ask yourself: Which is my biggest obstacle? (Let’s keep it simple.)
What do you need to stop doing?
And imagine …
What would my life look like if I could move past it?
How much easier would my life be?
How much more joy and peace would I experience?
If you’re ready to take action and change for good, know that you don’t have to do it alone!
You can find support through community, coaching, mentoring, books, podcasts, programs, and other helpful resources.
You never have to be stuck. Because you deserve to feel So Much Better.
Cindy Tsai is an internal medicine physician and can be reached on Twitter @cindytsaimd.