Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

To my beloved sister: Dr. Moumita Debnath

Dr. Damane Zehra
Physician
February 6, 2025
Share
Tweet
Share

Trigger warning: sexual abuse, violence against women, and rape.

(Dr. Moumita Debnath, a 31-year-old female resident doctor from Kolkata, India, was discovered dead in a seminar hall at R.G. Kar Medical College on August 9, 2024. Her death was verified as the result of a violent sexual assault and murder. All this occurred while she was sleeping alone at night, on call. The autopsy indicated significant damage caused by severe physical trauma.)

Dear Moumita,

You know what? I remained numb for months following your brutal rape and murder.

I attempted to write something, but all of my words died. I forgot the letters.

I’m not sure what I should call my emotions: Sadness, grief, rage, or pain.

But, after months, I’ve mustered the guts to tell you how your death affected me.

You know, we’re from different nations, have different religions, and were raised in different environments, but I feel like you’re my sister from another time, world, or maybe a previous life. I’ve never met you, seen you, known you, spoken to you, shaken hands with you, or embraced you, so why did your death affect me so much?

I sobbed a lot after you. I cried so hard that my eyelids swelled, and I couldn’t laugh fully for many days.

I was there mourning you, and I still am.

My nervous system has transformed into a battleground.

A tap on the shoulder can easily startle me.

I remember a friend asking me once, “When was the last time you heard your heartbeat?” I laughed and got her stethoscope, auscultated my chest, and heard the rhythm of my beating heart that day.

Isn’t it interesting that after your death, I hear my heartbeat every day, which can be pretty erratic at times due to my anxiety? You caused me palpitations, Moumita.

ADVERTISEMENT

You know, every time I work in the emergency room, especially on weekends, I am constantly glancing outside to see if there is a security guard or not.

You know, when I am on call alone, I check the door lock of the doctor’s room several times throughout the night because I can hear footsteps all night.

As I go through the hospital’s deserted corridors late at night, I look behind more than ahead in search of a predator.

I hear your screams in the corridors at night when no one is around.

Now, during my night duty, I am constantly on my toes, not to save lives, but to flee, to save my own.

You know, Moumita, I was a cheerful, bubbly, and enthusiastic doctor who was always ready for work, on my toes when seeing a patient, always looking forward to saving a life, never hesitated to do anything, stayed in the hospital at any hour, and examined and spoke candidly with every male patient.

Although I used to believe that occasionally I missed tiny nodes when palpating with gloved fingers, I have now started wearing gloves for every examination I perform on male patients. But these days, many male patients have “that” look in their eyes when I touch their hand during a neurological examination, palpate the cervical nodes, or examine the oral cavity.

You know, Moumita, now sometimes, I can feel that harmless brush of fingertips as I pass a pen to a male consultant on “Zara pen dena!” (requests a pen) to countersign my notes.

You know, Moumita, nowadays it feels weird when a fellow male doctor asks me to adjust his face mask during surgery or tie his surgical gown for him before any surgical procedure, even though I never thought about it this way before your death.

Now I notice the redness in the eyes of some of the male doctors and medical staff, their husky voices on a few days, and the fine tremors in their hands when they are writing down something, as well as the days when they do not realize what they are saying and do not look well at all, although I had never noticed these minor details before.

You know, Moumita, your death made me question everything.

Were these men not taught as children that adultery, fornication, and rape are among God’s most despised sins?

I asked many people why there is so much filth in the medical fraternity; do these guys not understand that sexual approaches on female colleagues, or any females, are prohibited in Islam? They have spouses, sisters, and daughters at home, but they never fear that their loved ones would have to go through anything like this.

Their women may face all of this someday.

You taught me to never trust everyone, to never ignore red flags or warning signs, and to take care of the women around me. Now, I can’t imagine leaving a female patient alone, even for a second. When I spot one, I sit by her, talk to her, and wait until one of her family members or a female staff arrives to accompany her.

You made me realize that I needed to be concerned about my safety, for which I will always be thankful to you. You made me realize that I need to build physical strength, practice self-defense, and prioritize myself above all else.

To always consider saving my own life before saving others.

From a fellow doctor, a soul sister, and a postgraduate resident who is 31 just like you, the same age as you were, on your last day in the hospital, and in this cruel world.

The only difference is that I work in a different hospital in a different country.

Rest in peace, dear Moumita.

I am sorry.

Damane Zehra is a radiation oncology resident in Pakistan.

Prev

Breaking free from perfectionism: a healing journey [PODCAST]

February 5, 2025 Kevin 0
…
Next

The best job boards for finding unconventional medical jobs, side gigs, and moonlighting opportunities

February 6, 2025 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Residency

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Breaking free from perfectionism: a healing journey [PODCAST]
Next Post >
The best job boards for finding unconventional medical jobs, side gigs, and moonlighting opportunities

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Dr. Damane Zehra

  • How a rainy walk helped an oncologist rediscover joy and bravery

    Dr. Damane Zehra
  • What a dying patient’s handshake taught me about life and love

    Dr. Damane Zehra
  • The child within: a grown woman’s quiet grief

    Dr. Damane Zehra

Related Posts

  • Are you storing your medications wrong?

    Dr. Farees Ahmad Khan & Dr. Sarah Alnaher
  • Gun and health care workplace violence: Dr. Lindley Dodson’s tragic death

    Sheryl Yanger, MD
  • For treatment, please call Dr. Congressman

    Joseph Lanctot, FNP-C
  • IMGs are abandoned during COVID

    Dr. Michelle Warncke and Dr. Wahab Khan

More in Physician

  • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

    Patrick Hudson, MD
  • Why compassion—not credentials—defines great doctors

    Dr. Saad S. Alshohaib
  • Why Canada is losing its skilled immigrant doctors

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

    Maureen Gibbons, MD
  • Why screening for diseases you might have can backfire

    Andy Lazris, MD and Alan Roth, DO
  • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

    Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • How community paramedicine impacts Indigenous elders

      Noah Weinberg | Conditions
    • A physician’s reflection on love, loss, and finding meaning in grief [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • A physician’s reflection on love, loss, and finding meaning in grief [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How fragmented records and poor tracking degrade patient outcomes

      Michael R. McGuire | Policy
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • How I learned to stop worrying and love AI

      Rajeev Dutta | Education
    • Understanding depression beyond biology: the power of therapy and meaning

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • Why compassion—not credentials—defines great doctors

      Dr. Saad S. Alshohaib | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • How community paramedicine impacts Indigenous elders

      Noah Weinberg | Conditions
    • A physician’s reflection on love, loss, and finding meaning in grief [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • A physician’s reflection on love, loss, and finding meaning in grief [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How fragmented records and poor tracking degrade patient outcomes

      Michael R. McGuire | Policy
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • How I learned to stop worrying and love AI

      Rajeev Dutta | Education
    • Understanding depression beyond biology: the power of therapy and meaning

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • Why compassion—not credentials—defines great doctors

      Dr. Saad S. Alshohaib | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...