In our modern world, we often find ourselves caught in a cycle—balancing the demands of work, family, and personal well-being. For those living with marginalized identities, this exhaustion is compounded by societal expectations, a lack of understanding, and a pervasive sense of isolation.

Dr. Nicole Perrotte knew I was a pediatric physical therapist, and she shared with me her experience as the mom of an “atypical” child. Through my work with countless children with special needs over many years, and close relatives of my own who are neurodivergent, I could fully relate.

Managing special needs at home is challenging, but that is just the beginning. Dr. Perrotte highlights this in her exploration of the “Triangle of Exhaustion,” a framework that reveals the emotional, social, and responsibility-driven fatigue faced by caregivers, parents, and professionals.

Dr. Perrotte paints a vivid picture of the invisible burden many carry. The exhaustion goes beyond physical weariness—it’s the emotional toll of fighting for recognition and understanding, the loneliness of feeling isolated, and the relentless pressure of never fully resting. This “triangle” affects individuals, families, communities, and industries, especially health care.

We must reconsider what it means to truly see one another, challenge the assumption that kindness must be earned, and advocate for a world where empathy is unconditional—where humanity alone is enough.

Dr. Perrotte offers real solutions. By normalizing differences, creating judgment-free spaces, and leading with love instead of labels, she shows us a way forward, calling for deeper empathy, genuine connection, and a shift in how we treat others…

Dr. Nicole Perrotte:

Love and empathy aren’t just lofty ideals—they are the foundation of real connection. When we approach people with compassion rather than judgment, we create spaces where they can be seen, heard, and valued. This is true in our personal relationships, in our workplaces, and in how we interact with the world.

As a mom of an “atypical” child, this truth isn’t just theoretical for me—it’s lived experience. I’ve seen how society decides who is “worthy” of understanding and who must constantly justify their differences. The story of Gus Walz—mocked for expressing pure, unfiltered emotion—brought this reality into sharp focus. The backlash against the bullies only gained traction once people learned he had a disability. But why should kindness depend on a diagnosis? Shouldn’t humanity be enough?

This same lack of empathy is at the root of the exhaustion crisis, especially in caregiving professions like medicine and in families caring for loved ones with special needs. In my TEDx talk on the Triangle of Burnout, I spoke about three key drivers that push people toward exhaustion: Overwhelm, lack of support, and loss of control. But there’s more to this picture—because exhaustion isn’t just about being tired. It’s about the cumulative impact of emotional, physical, and mental depletion that comes from constantly navigating a world that doesn’t make space for you.

This is where I introduce the Triangle of Exhaustion, which builds upon burnout but extends beyond the workplace to the daily lived experiences of caregivers, special needs parents, and marginalized individuals. This triangle consists of:

1. Emotional fatigue. When you have to constantly explain, defend, or advocate for yourself or your loved ones just to receive basic understanding, it takes a toll. Special needs parents, for example, often carry an invisible emotional load—fighting for services, explaining their child’s needs, and enduring societal judgment. Similarly, in medicine, physicians and caregivers who are expected to always “power through” without acknowledgment of their emotional burden eventually wear down.

2. Social isolation. Exhaustion doesn’t just come from doing too much—it comes from doing it alone. Whether it’s a parent who can’t attend social events because their child’s needs aren’t accommodated, or a physician who can’t share their struggles for fear of looking weak, this isolation deepens exhaustion. The absence of true, judgment-free connection makes the burden even heavier.

3. Relentless responsibility. Exhaustion peaks when there’s no off switch. Special needs parents don’t get breaks. Physicians often work past their limits, knowing lives depend on them. Caregivers feel the pressure of being the constant anchor for those they love. When responsibility is relentless without reprieve, exhaustion becomes a way of life rather than just a passing phase.

So how do we break this cycle? How do we build a world that values all people—not just when it’s convenient, but always?

Three solutions to break the triangle of exhaustion

1. Normalize differences. Instead of seeing “different” as something to be tolerated, we must embrace it as a fundamental part of life. Just as physicians experience burnout from systems that don’t support them, people who are “atypical” experience exhaustion from constantly having to adapt to a world that refuses to accommodate them. Inclusion shouldn’t be an afterthought—it should be the default.

2. Create judgment-free zones. True connection happens when people feel safe to be themselves. In medicine, when we lead with empathy instead of efficiency, we create environments where both patients and clinicians thrive. In society, when we replace judgment with curiosity, we allow people to show up as they are, without fear of ridicule.

3. Lead with love, not labels. Empathy should not be conditional. Just as burnout worsens when we treat doctors like machines rather than humans, our communities fracture when we require people to “prove” they deserve kindness. Someone shouldn’t need a diagnosis to receive understanding. Instead of waiting for a “reason” to be kind, let’s make kindness our default. Love first. Assume the best. Offer grace without prerequisites.

We can do better. We must do better. Not just for kids like Gus. Not just for burned-out professionals. Not just for exhausted parents and caregivers. But for everyone. Because at the end of the day, the only ticket anyone should need for empathy is their humanity.

Nicole Perrotte is a physician coach. Kim Downey is a physician advocate and physical therapist.