Let us get this straight: Enjoying life is amazing. You should do more of it. Every day, if you can. But if you are truly committed to living well, you also need to get comfortable with something most people avoid like mystery meat at a buffet: preparing for your death.

Not obsessing over it. Not fearing it. Just preparing, so your loved ones are not left trying to solve your digital, financial, and emotional leftovers like a tragic escape room.

A clinician’s view from the bedside

As a physician, I have stood at the bedside when death arrived unannounced. I have watched families face the double burden of grief and chaos, not just mourning their loved one, but scrambling to find documents, accounts, and passwords while making funeral arrangements.

I have also lost people I love suddenly and unexpectedly. Trust me: The space between life and death is painfully small. Just millimeters. A wrong step. A hidden aneurysm. A diagnosis you did not see coming. It is not morbid to say this; it is truthful. Ignoring death does not buy you more time. It only takes time away from those you love.

The gift of preparation

The good news? Once you do the work, you can stop worrying. You get to live freely, knowing the people you care about are protected.

Here is what I recommend, for you, your patients, and your loved ones:

• Create a will or, better yet, set up a revocable trust.
• Buy life insurance if you have dependents, debts, or future expenses like college tuition.
• Keep both digital and physical copies of key documents, updating at least every six months.
• Make a “death folder,” a guidebook for your loved ones. Include instructions for finding passwords, account details, insurance policies, and key contacts.

Only you know how your household really works. But here is a sample of what a surviving spouse or partner might need:

Sample post-mortem to-do list

• Contact our estate attorney, accountant, and financial advisor. Trust their advice, but check with our son for a second opinion.
• Order twenty death certificates (yes, you will need that many).
• Notify health insurers to stop premium charges.
• Submit life insurance claim.
• Visit Social Security; survivor benefits may apply.
• Contact my (former) employer about benefits or pensions.
• Notify credit card companies and credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion).
• Cancel my driver’s license at the DMV.
• Switch auto-payments on utilities and subscriptions.
• Monitor my email and phone for one year before closing both.
• Retrieve passwords and flash drives in the safe-deposit box.

Now, go live

See? That was not so bad. Now that you have done the unglamorous work of preparing for death, you can get back to the joyful work of living. You have eased the burden for those you love. You have created space for grief and remembrance, not paperwork and panic.

So go. Plan that trip. Take the long walk. Order dessert. You are ready.

Joseph Pepe is a physician executive and author with decades of experience across the continuum of care, from home health aide to hospital system chief executive officer. As president and chief executive officer, he led a 330-bed acute care hospital, a heart and vascular institute, physician practices, urgent care centers, and a joint venture ambulatory surgery center, navigating the business of health care while remaining grounded in clinical medicine. Dr. Pepe is the author of the forthcoming On All Sides of the Bed, an 80,000-word memoir that blends gripping bedside stories with lessons on leadership, ethics, and resilience. He has published on health care ethics in the Cambridge Quarterly of Healthcare Ethics, speaks on moral leadership, and mentors clinicians and executives. He writes a popular Substack newsletter and shares reflections on Instagram at @jack_and_homer, exploring mortality, meaning, and the human side of medicine. Through his work, Dr. Pepe invites readers to reflect on how we live, how we heal, and how we lead.