“If you ask what they like about their surgeon and they only say they are nice? I don’t want a nice person.” This sentiment comes from Dr. Oz, a boarded and licensed thoracic surgeon, and was posed to the house of medicine at the 2025 House of Delegates Interim Meeting.

I have grappled with what being a good surgeon means to me. Our training would have us believe that a good surgeon is a perfect surgeon. We are expected to be technically accurate and meticulous, fast and efficient, and someone who has never had a complication nor made a mistake. This is not a reasonable expectation for a surgeon, much less a person. This idea contributes to physician, and more specifically surgeon, burnout as we strive for something that is unobtainable. I strongly believe in providing technically excellent surgeries with excellent outcomes, but human biology and personhood stand in the way of succeeding in that goal in every circumstance, 100 percent of the time. This does not make any of us bad surgeons for this reason alone.

From the patient’s perspective, helping them achieve good or improved health is what is important. Why, as a profession, are we so quick to discredit the emotional intelligence and caring of the individual as part of the development and maintenance of their health? Especially in reference to surgeons. So frequently I hear people in the community state they do not care if their surgeon is nice if they are doing a “good job.”

Providing emotional intelligence during patient encounters and a sense of professional intimacy from patient to surgeon enhances and strengthens the ability they have to provide better care. At times, we, as a profession, assume we know what the best outcome for every patient is, but we cannot hope to know this without engaging them in a discussion. As an example, we do not provide the same surgery for every hernia. With each person comes variability in their anatomy, but also in their personality and goals. Their goals of care and their quality of life are determined by them prior to their first encounter with a surgeon. Meeting them where they are and discovering this information as part of your treatment plan, I would argue, is just as important as the treatment plan itself. Being the nice surgeon, but more significantly, the emotionally intelligent and empathic surgeon, will obtain this information from the patient freely in the relationship they build together.

I was thanked today by my patient at her postoperative appointment. While I am sure she appreciated the technically strong procedure I performed for her, her praise was for the time I spent ensuring she understood the physiology of her pathology and her specific surgical treatment. She stated it was the first time a doctor provided her that level of explanation or that amount of time to ensure she understood what her clinical course was and would be. I would argue I was able to explain this effectively to her because I had gathered enough information to connect with her, and that I was able to do this by being nice.

By caring about our patients as more than a collection of organs, we provide them something greater and more meaningful. We partner with them to restore, maintain, and cultivate their health. Arguably, being a nice surgeon makes you the better surgeon and one I strive to be each day in practice.

Sierra Grasso is a robotic general surgeon.