As I look at his obituary pictures, I can’t help but feel a sense of longing. I wish I could have known him – that other side of him that his family, friends, and colleagues are sharing in their photos. They’re all smiling and laughing, hugging each other, and radiating a genuine sense of happiness.
He was one of our main ICU physicians, a brilliant man who could meticulously turn a …
It was a busy night in the emergency department, as usual. I rushed from one patient to the next, trying to keep up with the constant stream of people coming in with various ailments and injuries.
One patient, in particular, stood out to me that night. He was an older man, probably in his early 70s, who had come in complaining of severe back pain. After a thorough examination and some …
Ms. Laura was a vibrant and feisty lady with a personality that filled the room. She had been my patient two months ago when she was admitted for an irregular heartbeat and COPD exacerbation. She was a smoker, and despite her heart issues, she had a strong will to live. I had advised her to quit smoking, but it was a habit that was hard to break.
When I saw her …
As a healthy 30-year-old intern with an infant, I never expected to land in the ICU on a random Thursday at 10 a.m. As I prepared to start my first precepted thoracentesis at the VA, I suddenly began to experience double vision. Assuming it to be a weird manifestation of anxiety, I politely stepped out to try to gather myself. I ran some cold water and splashed it on my …
Recently, I read an article by an ICU nurse that discussed the disturbing trend of replacing seasoned nurses with inexperienced ones in the name of cost-cutting. This issue is not limited to the ICU but is rampant in every area of nursing.
As a psychiatric nurse with 45 years of experience, 35 of which were as a board-certified psychiatric nurse, and a former mentor and preceptor, I have witnessed the …
The pager beeps early on the first day of my inpatient pediatric neurology service week. The pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) would like us to perform a brain death examination on a young boy before potential organ donation. An apparently healthy boy who had an unexpected clinical course that led to his current state.
As a pediatric neurology resident, I often have difficult conversations with our patients and families, but the …
We lived in the woods. Five acres of trees. You could barely see the sky. We left the big city for this piece of heaven. And by chance, we met a couple that had a 5-year-old daughter. Our son was four years old. They became best friends. They’d swing on the swing set, play in the sandbox, and splash each other in our little pool.
Kayla was this sweet, tiny girl. …
The COVID ICU is abuzz with monitors beeping and doctors and nurses rushing from bed to bed to care for critically ill patients, most on ventilators. The machines – dialysis, vents, pumps – sound off their rhythmic repetitions; breaths are pushed in and pulled out, and meds are dripped. Only the patients themselves are silent. We know this, and we hear this, but we are not there. It’s thhe height …
I wasn’t supposed to hear this, but I did. It sealed the deal for me. It was one of the reasons I had to finally leave my true love: ICU nursing. After 33 years as an ICU nurse, I knew it was time to go.
I used to feel like I had a purpose. I used to think I was a dynamic part of saving lives in the ICU. I lived …
Six years ago, I met a man who was 93 years old. I sat down to listen to him, something we physicians don’t do as often as we should in the long-term care setting.
“I want you to treat me like I’m 73,” he said,
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I don’t want to be denied treatment just because I am 93 years old. I want you to give me the same …
She was 82 years old — sweet, frail, and maybe four feet eight inches tall.
She had many beloved children, grandchildren, and even a few great-grandchildren
They all grew up knowing that family was their core — their base, their home where love resided.
It was only a few days before Christmas, and Mrs. Mary entered our ICU.
COPD.
She lived with this for a long time. But this time, it crippled her. We gave …
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Last evening I crumbled in the arms of my patient and wept. This was unknown territory to me, an unexpected role reversal. For three weeks after my Mom’s death, I maintained a stoic distance as patients offered their condolences, as they asked about my mother, and empathized. We doctors have been trained to do this, to face death, to keep our emotions at arm’s length. But this patient, who has …
When I quit my clinic job after four waves of the COVID-19 pandemic as an intensivist, I decided not to work in direct patient care for a while. I expected harsh criticism from my colleagues. Surprisingly, that never happened. The feedback was unexpected, at least for me. Most of my colleagues admired my decision. They called me brave for taking the leap, and many admitted thinking about the same for …
I have recently undergone (yet another) transition and am now back to living at home with my family full time instead of in an apartment half of the time. So wonderful most of the time … I think.
It is amazing and a very big wake-up call that I missed many of my children’s lives. And that those two years I will never get back, but it’s also just so hard …
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One morning, I was sitting in resident lecture. This time was supposedly protected, but we realized fairly quickly that the work still had to be done, and “I had lecture” never really worked out well as an explanation.
By this time in the week, I had already worked 80 hours, and the luxury of sitting down for an hour in a row was the main upside to the lecture. I kept …
I am a pulmonary-critical care medicine physician. I had a medical issue in 2020 and was on limited call responsibilities. When I came back, it was in the throes of the first wave of COVID.
It goes without saying that the last three years or so have been very difficult for everyone in the medical profession. We lost a truly horrific number of patients to COVID — in the early days, …
My sister didn’t want to die from breast cancer. In the six years since her diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer, she fought valiantly to stay healthy and to continue to live. A superb oncologist put her cancer into complete remission, which lasted for some time before it reappeared in distant lymph nodes but not in any viscera.
One weekend she complained of severe stomach pain and sought help at a …
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I still get chills thinking about the moment I decided to go to medical school. I was bored in my college physiology class, watching the minute hand on the round lecture hall clock.
There were just a few minutes remaining in the class, and students were starting to pack up. The professor, Dr. Adams, said, “I want to talk about hemorrhage before you go.” His voice was getting lost in the …
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