An excerpt from A Caregiver’s Love Story.
Caregiver burnout is a real and serious problem for those caregivers in for the long haul. It is a serious issue if you go to bed each night in anguish over the next day’s chores and wake up each morning with a …
The value of empathy in medicine is seldom debated. Just as the art of medicine is taught as the balance of knowledge and application, so has empathy been recognized as both a value to be fostered and a skill to be learned. Medical curricula have reflected this, and while didactics are increasingly filled with various conversational frameworks and behaviors that convey empathy, rarely do they include specific language to convey …
Four years ago, as chairman of the hospital ethics committee, I was asked to convene an emergency meeting brought by a distraught family as medical decisions had to be made for their ill loved one. The hospital, HMO lawyers, the family, three adult children, and their mother were at the meeting.
The father had arrived at the hospital unconscious and was admitted to the intensive care unit, where medical care was …
It was fall. Sun-slanted rays filtered into the church from a cold November sky, creating a false sense of warmth. My nephew Dru stood before family and friends who were gathered to remember his mother. He began by telling how, in-between trips to the emergency room, oncologist, radiologist, and myriad other health care providers, he would find himself preoccupied with her eulogy. He worried he would not be able to …
I have been at my current hospital for 12-plus years now. Like many of you, I have gotten to know some of my patients very well. I have known some of them since I first started out here. We talk about my dogs and cows, our newest grandkids, and politics if we feel adventurous. This is an extraordinary relationship built on the intangible magic generated over time, known as rapport …
“Arriving at an acceptance of one’s mortality is a process, not an epiphany.”
– Atul Gawande
Imagine a group of old (mature) friends gathered for a “girls” weekend in balmy Florida. The friendships started in grammar school and have continued for the better part of 50 years. These women have met at least once a year for more than 25 years and shared life’s ups and downs. On this trip, one of …
“He knew it was his time a month ago. We were sitting at the kitchen table, and he told me he couldn’t feel half his face. He kept tapping the left side and saying he couldn’t feel anything. I knew he had a stroke because my daughter had one. He was stubborn, didn’t want to go to the doctor.”
One week ago, I saw Mr. Samson for the first time in …
I am a physician.
We are always taught to see our patients as more than their state of illness or diagnosis. “Speak to the patient,” “listen,” “look them in the eye,” “do not put one foot out the door,” the list of do’s and don’ts, while self-explanatory, is long. A good doctor is considered one who is able to view the person behind the symptoms and offer a shoulder, not just …
An excerpt from A Caregiver’s Love Story.
After Bill was given his terminal diagnosis of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and the bloody nose scare, I began to worry about the future. It was like “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” wondering when and how his death would happen. I …
“You’re dying.”
I can often visualize the impact of my words as soon as they leave my mouth, the heavy weight sinking into the mind and body of my patient as they sit in the stark white hospital bed.
It usually isn’t the first time they’ve heard the sentiment. After all, we tell them countless times in different phrases we use as physicians, expecting them to understand, but none quite as precise …
“We can keep your loved one alive. but we won’t. Even though you think their life is worth living, we do not.”
The first time I helped a hospital convey this type of offensive message to a patient’s family, it deeply humbled me. My service on a hospital medical appropriateness review committee forged charitable respect for alternative viewpoints that now pervades my work to protect patient rights.
Hospital review committees adjudicate medical …
The first occurred when the ethics committee gathered to discuss one of the residents on the nursing wing. She was in the late stages of dementia and unable to speak. She had developed an ulcer on her foot, and the doctor recommended antibiotics and whirlpool treatments. These might prevent having her foot amputated.
Her health care agent with medical power of attorney was her daughter. She said that her mother had …
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“Unlike my dad, I grew up with very different feelings about my own longevity. I have always believed that I would live to a ripe old age. This belief has colored my approach to career and finances. In many ways, I was able …
An excerpt from Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor’s Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life. Copyright © 2022 Ulysses Press. Reprinted with permission from Ulysses Press. New York, NY. All rights reserved.
You are going to die.
Imagine that I have walked into your hospital room …
I had a patient in the ED who reminded me a lot of my grandfather, my Dada. I grew up with my Dada, listening to his stories and learning from his knowledge of the intricate workings of the world. He was a first-generation college student, science lover, world traveler, vice president of a large chemical engineering company and loving husband, father and grandfather.
When I was in high school, he also …
In his bestselling book How Not to Die, physician Michael Greger described how his grandmother, diagnosed with advanced heart disease at 65, transformed her health and lived for many years after switching to a whole-food, plant-based diet.
It was a seminal event for Dr. Greger that inspired a career dedicated to promoting the impact of lifestyle behavior on health. As lifestyle medicine-certified clinicians practicing in a palliative medicine …
“COVID has brought us new challenges and a genuine opportunity to be part of the critical response to optimize the care we deliver not just to our patients but also to their families and caregivers. I am lucky, blessed to do this work every day and carry such a deep passion.
We are …
“Death would not be called bad, O people, if one knew how to truly die.”
— Nanak
Her funeral was yesterday, and there was a huge turn-out. She was 67 and never cussed or said a bad word about anyone. She was much-friended and well-loved. In late January 2022, she was diagnosed with stage-4 cancer in her lungs, which metastasized to her liver and bones. At first, some medico used the word …
I had known AR for eight days before she passed away.
AR’s medical record was littered with phrases all too familiar in the field of medicine: she had “poor insight into the severity of her disease” and was “insisting on all resuscitation measures despite poor prognosis.” But quite frankly, I could not blame her. She had been diagnosed with metastatic gastric cancer, bilateral Kruckenberg tumors and additional metastases throughout her abdominal …
“If you don’t let us go home because of the vomiting, his time is running out … I don’t want him to be at a point where there is nothing else to do, and I don’t want him to go home at that point,” said J’s mom.
“Am I crazy to want to see this naturopathic doctor? He promised us he would cure our son of his cancer …”
“It is not …
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