Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Being a physician is like trying to parent two thousand teenagers

Jordan Grumet, MD
Physician
May 9, 2012
Share
Tweet
Share

I walked down the hospital corridor listlessly. My feet dragged as they fought each attempt to lift off the ground. My body was tired and achy. The phone calls the night before had been relentless. Each stolen moment of sleep was interrupted before a deep, restful state was reached. It was Monday morning.

I sat at the nursing station flipping through charts. A colleague across the table was staring intently at his computer screen. He previously had been a private practitioner like myself, but he shuttered his practice to become a hospitalist. He glanced over at me appraisingly, taking in my disheveled hair and unshaven face.

Hard night?

I nodded in his direction, and looked up from the progress note I was struggling to complete. I wasn’t making much headway.

So why did you leave your practice anyway?

A look of pity came over his face as he stared down at a coffee stain on my wrinkled gray lab coat.

I was tired!

He went on to explain that it was not physical but rather emotional fatigue that spurred his decision. He was tired of fighting with his patients.

***

As I exited the hospital and walked a few hundred feet to my building, I pondered my patient interactions over the the last week.

A healthy thirty five year old woman called my office daily for a benign upper respiratory tract infection. During each conversation she demanded an antibiotic, and each time I explained how it was inappropriate. I cited studies, explained the possible harm to herself as well as society, and gave a number of recommendations for alleviating symptoms. She responded by saying that all her friends doctors gave them antibiotics. Eventually she decided to leave my practice and find care elsewhere.

A hundred year old demented woman was placed in a nursing home after a devastating stroke which left her completely unconscious. Her previous doctor had dutifully ordered a feeding tube and transferred her to the nursing home for further care. Last week her kidneys began to fail, and her son demanded that we initiate hemodialysis. I invited the family to the nursing home and spent an hour discussing futile care and it’s consequences. We talked about how hundred year olds don’t tolerate dialysis well, and that her quality of life was already low. After becoming very emotional, the son stormed out of the room and accused me of trying to kill his mother.

A 60-year old woman with chronic back pain came to my office for a refill of a narcotic prescribed by her orthopaedist. I talked to her about the pain ad nauseum, and described how narcotics are not affective for long term control of musculoskeletal pain. I looked her up on the Illinois prescription monitor, and my eyes popped as I calculated that she received over 250 hydrocodone pills from three different doctors over the last week. When I refused to write another, she stormed out of the office and threatened to call the local medical board.

***

The doctor-patient relationship can be difficult. At it’s best, it is a mutual, symbiotic connection between client and consultant. Sometimes, however, being a physician is like trying to parent two thousand teenagers. Although there is great affection on both sides of the examining table, the perspective is markedly different.

I admit that I can never know exactly what my patients are feeling, I haven’t walked a day in their shoes. On the other hand, I have years of experience treating just the sort of complaints they come to my door seeking help with.

There are days when I fervently wish they would let me use this experience to help them.

ADVERTISEMENT

And there are days when I wonder if I should have ever decided become a parent in the first place.

Jordan Grumet is an internal medicine physician who blogs at In My Humble Opinion.

Submit a guest post and be heard on social media’s leading physician voice.

Prev

Sudden death makes a mockery of preventive medicine

May 9, 2012 Kevin 9
…
Next

The Hollywood treatment of oncologists

May 9, 2012 Kevin 6
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Sudden death makes a mockery of preventive medicine
Next Post >
The Hollywood treatment of oncologists

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jordan Grumet, MD

  • The man who changed the world with baseball cards

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A hospice doctor’s advice on getting your finances in order

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A story of persistence in the face of death

    Jordan Grumet, MD

More in Physician

  • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

    Curtis G. Graham, MD
  • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • Time theft: the unseen harm of abusive oversight

    Kayvan Haddadan, MD
  • Why more doctors are leaving clinical practice and how it helps health care

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why starting with why can transform your medical practice

    Neil Baum, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Clinical ghosts and why they haunt our exam rooms

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
    • High blood pressure’s hidden impact on kidney health in older adults

      Edmond Kubi Appiah, MPH | Conditions
    • Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How declining MMR vaccination rates put future generations at risk

      Ambika Sharma, Onyi Oligbo, and Katrina Green, MD | Conditions
    • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 38 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Clinical ghosts and why they haunt our exam rooms

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
    • High blood pressure’s hidden impact on kidney health in older adults

      Edmond Kubi Appiah, MPH | Conditions
    • Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How declining MMR vaccination rates put future generations at risk

      Ambika Sharma, Onyi Oligbo, and Katrina Green, MD | Conditions
    • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Being a physician is like trying to parent two thousand teenagers
38 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...