Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

What if I told you that you were going to die tomorrow?

Monica Williams-Murphy, MD
Physician
January 10, 2013
Share
Tweet
Share

Please raise your hand if you are not going to die.

If you haven’t found the fountain of youth and we haven’t perfected anti-aging technology, then you my friend are going to die. But you are not alone, so am I, and so is your mother and your father and your brothers and sisters and even little Johnny down the street.

Now that I have reminded you of your own mortality. Does this change anything in your life?

Probably not.

What if I told you that you were going to die tomorrow? Does this change anything in your life?

Probably so.

Why is this? Why does a timeline, or a “deadline” (pun intended) make a difference for us?

I believe that a deadline changes the quality of the preceding moments. Some moments in life merely pass, forgetably, almost as if unattended, but other moments are imbued with great meaning and even urgency, particularly if we know that those moments are to be our last, as with a departing friend or dying lover. These last moments are often the ones in which we feel most alive and most present.

Should we rob anyone of these meaningful moments?

No. The mere thought seems cruel and deeply inhumane.

Yet, if we do not speak of death and its reality, and especially its proximity, then we have robbed ourselves and our loved ones of the power of last moments.

When a doctor does not speak the truth and does not say the words, “Yes, you are dying,” then you are robbed of the opportunity to live fully in the present, savoring each song, each touch of a child’s hand, and the heft of your favorite book.

What human would rob another of the most touching and beautiful moments of life?

We do this all of the time, to ourselves and those whom we love, if we don’t speak the truth about death and its timing. In private, we ask the doctor “not to tell her how sick she really is.” Yet, the words, “You probably only have another month left,” could prove to be among the best therapies that your doctor could ever give you. Because of those words, each day, each hour, each second of that month would be seen in a different light than any time that had ever passed before. Each moment cherished, devoured hungrily, and deeply savored. Precious time, never squandered, but focused only on those things which matter most.

Death, the ultimate deadline, allows us to cherish both life and time more fully.

ADVERTISEMENT

There is no reason why we cannot consciously apply the urgency that death brings to our everyday lives.  Indeed, we should.

Steve Jobs was fond of saying, “Live everyday as though it is your last … and one day, you will be right.”

And I love this quote by John A. Robinson, RN, from his book, On My Journey Home: “Make the most out of each day you have. Do not live to die, die to live each day to its fullest. Say what you need to say and do what you need to do, because at any time, that chance can become history without warning.”

In the coming year, let us be more focused on the use and cultivation of our time and our life. Let us savor it, every drop.

Monica Williams-Murphy is an emergency physician and author of It’s OK to Die.

Prev

Don't get frustrated with the uncertainties of medicine

January 10, 2013 Kevin 0
…
Next

What patients can learn from the flu outbreak

January 10, 2013 Kevin 3
…

Tagged as: Palliative Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Don't get frustrated with the uncertainties of medicine
Next Post >
What patients can learn from the flu outbreak

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Monica Williams-Murphy, MD

  • Please address suffering in the care of the dying

    Monica Williams-Murphy, MD
  • 8 unexpected reasons why you should have an advance care plan

    Monica Williams-Murphy, MD
  • I may be the only advocate for my dying patient

    Monica Williams-Murphy, MD

Related Posts

  • What it is like to watch someone die

    Casey Krickus
  • Doctors die. But the good ones leave a legacy.

    Jaime B. Gerber, MD
  • Doctor-patient relationships would die without this one thing

    David Penner
  • How we can help our veterans die in peace

    Diane D. Blier, DNP
  • What do you say to somebody who knows that they are about to die?

    Nathaniel Fleming
  • These are the women who are being told they are not a priority

    Camille C. Imbo, MD

More in Physician

  • The unspoken contract between doctors and patients explained

    Matthew G. Checketts, DO
  • The truth in medicine: Why connection matters most

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

    Tom Phan, MD
  • Why “the best physicians” risk burnout and isolation

    Scott Abramson, MD
  • Why real medicine is more than quick labels

    Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA
  • Limiting beliefs are holding your career back

    Sanj Katyal, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • How federal actions threaten vaccine policy and trust

      American College of Physicians | Conditions
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
    • Are we repeating the statin playbook with lipoprotein(a)?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • A physician employment agreement term that often tricks physicians

      Dennis Hursh, Esq | Finance
    • Why taxing remittances harms families and global health care

      Dalia Saha, MD | Finance
  • Recent Posts

    • An addiction physician’s warning about America’s next public health crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Gen Z’s DIY approach to health care

      Amanda Heidemann, MD | Education
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
    • Smart asset protection strategies every doctor needs

      Paul Morton, CFP | Finance
    • The silent cost of choosing personalization over privacy in health care

      Dr. Giriraj Tosh Purohit | Tech
    • How IMGs can find purpose in clinical research [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 11 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • How federal actions threaten vaccine policy and trust

      American College of Physicians | Conditions
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
    • Are we repeating the statin playbook with lipoprotein(a)?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • A physician employment agreement term that often tricks physicians

      Dennis Hursh, Esq | Finance
    • Why taxing remittances harms families and global health care

      Dalia Saha, MD | Finance
  • Recent Posts

    • An addiction physician’s warning about America’s next public health crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Gen Z’s DIY approach to health care

      Amanda Heidemann, MD | Education
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
    • Smart asset protection strategies every doctor needs

      Paul Morton, CFP | Finance
    • The silent cost of choosing personalization over privacy in health care

      Dr. Giriraj Tosh Purohit | Tech
    • How IMGs can find purpose in clinical research [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

What if I told you that you were going to die tomorrow?
11 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...