Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Letting your infant cry it out: Will it hurt your baby?

Roy Benaroch, MD
Conditions
June 5, 2013
Share
Tweet
Share

shutterstock_128923511

Jess, like many parents, has been hearing conflicting information about what crying can do to your baby.

She wrote: “So, my husband and I accidentally let our kiddo (5.5 months) cry it out. So of course, I’m spending all sorts of time on Google finding out that I’ve caused long-term damage to my son and he’ll be more likely to get ADHD and be dumber now that I’ve let him cry. I know the studies on cortisol show that some longer-term stress may be evident (at least for a few days), but are there any other real, scientific studies that show long-term damage due to cry it out? I’m pretty sure the other studies cited in the article above are irrelevant to this–am I right? I know you’ve written about cry it out before, but with all the hype, can you clarify?”

A friend of mine is working on a project called “Guilt Free Childbirth,” meant to dispel the guilt and hand-wringing that so many families seem to experience during and after childbirth. What if I need a c-section? What if I can’t do it “naturally”? What if I can’t “bond” instantly with my baby?

This cry-it-out worry—I think I could make an entirely new blog, “Guilt Free Parenting,” just to try to dispel this nonsense. Parents are so saturated with messages telling you that everything—I mean everything—we do is wrong, it’s a wonder we don’t all just curl up in a ball in the closet sucking our thumbs.

Wait, thumb sucking. That’s bad, too.

Anyway: the sky isn’t falling. We are not raising warped, worthless, sick, incompetent kids. There are always things parents could do better (including me!), but that doesn’t mean that if we don’t do everything “right,” our kids will suffer.

Back to cry-it-out: babies don’t always learn to sleep straight through the night on their own, and there are several competing “methods” to help nudge them towards independence. Some parents are very eager to help train, others take a more “easy-going” approach. How you tackle this depends on how parents feel about the importance of a good night’s sleep, and also on the temperament of the baby. I am not going to declare that any one method is perfect for everyone.

But if sleeping through the night is a priority, I have offered up one simple solution that works well for many families. Yes, there is crying. No, I don’t think there is any good evidence that shows any lasting ill effects from letting your baby cry some. There are certainly lots of websites, pro and con, and lots of people with strong opinions—sometimes they’ll even comment in ALL CAPS for emphasis. But you are not damaging your child by letting tears fall without instant intervention.

Babies have been crying for many, many years. It is how they get our attention. If crying were so damaging, well, I don’t think any of us would have survived.

Jess included an example of reporting that stressed the damage done by cry-it-out sleep training, a list of 10 reasons it’s bad for babies. Most of the reasons were undocumented opinions from the author, who has clearly made up her mind on this issue. The references that were included are rife with methodological issues—especially retrospective bias (of course parents with children who are thought of as problematic are going to report more sleep issues, in retrospect, when asked), or skim though the complex issue of cause-and-effect. That is, did the excessive crying cause the later problems, or are children who are temperamentally difficult more likely to resist sleep and more likely to later experience emotional problems? One thing may not cause the other, even if they are correlated.

Studies of levels of the cortisol rely on that hormone as a biomarker of stress, and cortisol does indeed increase with stress in humans and other animals. But is that bad? Didn’t human babies always have stress in their lives? Some studies point out that cortisol can change the way brains develop, or can perhaps contribute to the pruning of interconnections between neurons- but that is a normal process that occurs in the development of the human brain. Interfering with this process by avoiding undue “stress” may actually be harmful in the long run.

Or maybe not. I am not saying that babies need to cry to be healthy. Certainly I spent a lot of time holding and reassuring my babies (and even babies in my practice!) But these studies that some claim show cry-it-out = bad for babies, it’s a stretch. And it is not something that parents ought to be worrying about.

Though there aren’t a lot of great, long-term, clinical studies of the consequences of these different sleep approaches, one published last year was reassuring—a method that allowed more crying didn’t lead to scary consequences later.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also: there are consequences to poor sleep, both for babies and for parents. Underslept babies are fussy and unhappy. Underslept parents are irritable and miserable, and may be more likely to get in car accidents, get divorced, or smack their child. It’s not unreasonable for parents to want to take an active role in pushing towards a good night’s sleep.

A great website with far more detail and insight into baby sleep issues is at www.troublesometots.com—including a detailed guide to one common-sense way to help babies learn to sleep better. Yes, there may be some crying. It’s ok.

Roy Benaroch is a pediatrician who blogs at The Pediatric Insider. He is also the author of Solving Health and Behavioral Problems from Birth through Preschool: A Parent’s Guide and A Guide to Getting the Best Health Care for Your Child.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Fixing obesity is not complicated

June 4, 2013 Kevin 78
…
Next

End of life care is too complicated

June 5, 2013 Kevin 6
…

Tagged as: Pediatrics

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Fixing obesity is not complicated
Next Post >
End of life care is too complicated

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Roy Benaroch, MD

  • Goodbye, Benadryl: It is time for you to retire

    Roy Benaroch, MD
  • Telemedicine overprescribes antibiotics: Are you really receiving the best care over the phone?

    Roy Benaroch, MD
  • No, phones don’t cause horns to grow on skulls

    Roy Benaroch, MD

More in Conditions

  • Why shared decision-making in medicine often fails

    M. Bennet Broner, PhD
  • She wouldn’t move in the womb—then came the rare diagnosis that changed everything

    Amber Robertson
  • Diabetes and Alzheimer’s: What your blood sugar might be doing to your brain

    Marc Arginteanu, MD
  • How motherhood reshaped my identity as a scientist and teacher

    Kathleen Muldoon, PhD
  • Jumpstarting African health care with the beats of innovation

    Princess Benson
  • Voices from the inside: 35 years as a nurse in health care

    Virginia DeFranco, RN
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How dismantling DEI endangers the future of medical care

      Shashank Madhu and Christian Tallo | Education
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • The hidden cost of delaying back surgery

      Gbolahan Okubadejo, MD | Conditions
    • Do Jewish students face rising bias in holistic admissions?

      Anonymous | Education
    • “Think twice, heal once”: Why medical decision-making needs a second opinion from your slower brain (and AI)

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Internal Medicine 2025: inspiration at the annual meeting

      American College of Physicians | Physician
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
    • Are quotas a solution to physician shortages?

      Jacob Murphy | Education
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
  • Recent Posts

    • Antimicrobial resistance: a public health crisis that needs your voice [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why a fourth year will not fix emergency medicine’s real problems

      Anna Heffron, MD, PhD & Polly Wiltz, DO | Education
    • Why shared decision-making in medicine often fails

      M. Bennet Broner, PhD | Conditions
    • Do Jewish students face rising bias in holistic admissions?

      Anonymous | Education
    • She wouldn’t move in the womb—then came the rare diagnosis that changed everything

      Amber Robertson | Conditions
    • Rethinking medical education for a technology-driven era in health care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 3 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How dismantling DEI endangers the future of medical care

      Shashank Madhu and Christian Tallo | Education
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
    • The hidden cost of delaying back surgery

      Gbolahan Okubadejo, MD | Conditions
    • Do Jewish students face rising bias in holistic admissions?

      Anonymous | Education
    • “Think twice, heal once”: Why medical decision-making needs a second opinion from your slower brain (and AI)

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Internal Medicine 2025: inspiration at the annual meeting

      American College of Physicians | Physician
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
    • Are quotas a solution to physician shortages?

      Jacob Murphy | Education
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
  • Recent Posts

    • Antimicrobial resistance: a public health crisis that needs your voice [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why a fourth year will not fix emergency medicine’s real problems

      Anna Heffron, MD, PhD & Polly Wiltz, DO | Education
    • Why shared decision-making in medicine often fails

      M. Bennet Broner, PhD | Conditions
    • Do Jewish students face rising bias in holistic admissions?

      Anonymous | Education
    • She wouldn’t move in the womb—then came the rare diagnosis that changed everything

      Amber Robertson | Conditions
    • Rethinking medical education for a technology-driven era in health care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Letting your infant cry it out: Will it hurt your baby?
3 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...