Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The lack of joy at the doctor’s office, and a reason why

Jordan Grumet, MD
Physician
October 24, 2014
Share
Tweet
Share

Ruth was problematic.  Well into her seventies, her body may have dulled but her tongue was sharper than ever.  And she used it to lash me with complaint after complaint.  If it wasn’t her knees, it was her ankles.  If it wasn’t her ankles, it was her hips.  I battled the impossible month after month, year after year.  Our interactions left a bitter taste in my mouth.  Nothing makes a physician feel more impotent than the stubborn problems that refuse to bend under our practiced hands.

I am fairly experienced with complex medical issues.  I have never shied away from diagnostic challenges.  But I have to admit that Ruth seemed to push my buttons just so.  I started to dread our visits.  I winced every time her name came up on my schedule.

I am not proud of this.  The covenant between doctor and patient is sacred.   Neither a patient’s attitude nor my inability to solve her problems is an adequate excuse for such feelings.

It all changed instantaneously.  I was walking lazily through the botanic gardens with my family one weekend when I spied Ruth a few hundred yards away in the rose garden.  She was surrounded by children and grandchildren.  The young ones teased and coaxed as Ruth hopped back and forth with her walker.  Her laughter wafted effortlessly through the air.  She was alive and animated.  Her gait straightened, her limbs moved, and her face was alight with joy.  This was not the same crotchety woman whose visits I had grown to loathe.  I stared awestruck for a few moments before moving on.

A week later, Ruth hobbled into my office with none of the aforementioned spring in her step.  After making small talk, I mentioned that I had seen her from a distance at the gardens.  I talked of how alive she was amongst her children and grandchildren.  How her laughter caressed each brow, patted each back approvingly.  I saw no evidence of a body crippled by arthritis.

I could see Ruth appraising as I spoke.  She was waiting for me to get to the point.  Eventually I stumbled through my thoughts out loud.  I wondered why I had never seen such joy in the office.  Although I am only familiar with a fraction of my patient’s lives, I usually have a distinct feeling for who they are.

As Ruth replied, I could see the the amusement in her countenance at being asked such an absurd question.

“Joy?  Meh.  You expect me to be joyful at the doctor’s office?  This is where I go to complain about my knees?”

Her eyes sparkled and I nodded with a more profound understanding of our relationship.

And so it is with my writing.

Jordan Grumet is an internal medicine physician who blogs at In My Humble Opinion.

Prev

How blogging relieved a physician from the daily grind

October 24, 2014 Kevin 0
…
Next

Quit smoking: It takes a community to spread the word

October 24, 2014 Kevin 5
…

Tagged as: Geriatrics, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
How blogging relieved a physician from the daily grind
Next Post >
Quit smoking: It takes a community to spread the word

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jordan Grumet, MD

  • The man who changed the world with baseball cards

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A hospice doctor’s advice on getting your finances in order

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A story of persistence in the face of death

    Jordan Grumet, MD

More in Physician

  • How I learned to love my unique name as a doctor

    Zoran Naumovski, MD
  • What Beauty and the Beast taught me about risk

    Jayson Greenberg, MD
  • Creating safe, authentic group experiences

    Diane W. Shannon, MD, MPH
  • How tragedy shaped a medical career

    Ronald L. Lindsay, MD
  • A doctor’s guide to preparing for your death

    Joseph Pepe, MD
  • How policy and stigma block addiction treatment

    Mariana Ndrio, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The human case for preserving the nipple after mastectomy

      Thomas Amburn, MD | Conditions
    • Nuclear verdicts and rising costs: How inflation is reshaping medical malpractice claims

      Robert E. White, Jr. & The Doctors Company | Policy
    • How new loan caps could destroy diversity in medical education

      Caleb Andrus-Gazyeva | Policy
    • IMGs are the future of U.S. primary care

      Adam Brandon Bondoc, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors struggle with family caregiving and how to find grace [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Locum tenens: Reclaiming purpose, autonomy, and financial freedom in medicine

      Trevor Cabrera, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Health equity in Inland Southern California requires urgent action

      Vishruth Nagam | Policy
    • How restrictive opioid policies worsen the crisis

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why pain doctors face unfair scrutiny and harsh penalties in California

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
  • Recent Posts

    • How trust and communication power successful dyad leadership in health care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why Hollywood’s allergy jokes are dangerous

      Lianne Mandelbaum, PT | Conditions
    • How I learned to love my unique name as a doctor

      Zoran Naumovski, MD | Physician
    • My first week on night float as a medical student

      Amish Jain | Education
    • What Beauty and the Beast taught me about risk

      Jayson Greenberg, MD | Physician
    • Creating safe, authentic group experiences

      Diane W. Shannon, MD, MPH | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 6 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The human case for preserving the nipple after mastectomy

      Thomas Amburn, MD | Conditions
    • Nuclear verdicts and rising costs: How inflation is reshaping medical malpractice claims

      Robert E. White, Jr. & The Doctors Company | Policy
    • How new loan caps could destroy diversity in medical education

      Caleb Andrus-Gazyeva | Policy
    • IMGs are the future of U.S. primary care

      Adam Brandon Bondoc, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors struggle with family caregiving and how to find grace [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Locum tenens: Reclaiming purpose, autonomy, and financial freedom in medicine

      Trevor Cabrera, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Health equity in Inland Southern California requires urgent action

      Vishruth Nagam | Policy
    • How restrictive opioid policies worsen the crisis

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why pain doctors face unfair scrutiny and harsh penalties in California

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
  • Recent Posts

    • How trust and communication power successful dyad leadership in health care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why Hollywood’s allergy jokes are dangerous

      Lianne Mandelbaum, PT | Conditions
    • How I learned to love my unique name as a doctor

      Zoran Naumovski, MD | Physician
    • My first week on night float as a medical student

      Amish Jain | Education
    • What Beauty and the Beast taught me about risk

      Jayson Greenberg, MD | Physician
    • Creating safe, authentic group experiences

      Diane W. Shannon, MD, MPH | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The lack of joy at the doctor’s office, and a reason why
6 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...