Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The surgeon I want taking care of my mother

Justin Reno, MD
Physician
August 5, 2015
Share
Tweet
Share

shutterstock_261498554

“We all want to live longer, my friend. I’m not doing the surgery. Take care.”

And with that, the surgeon walked out of the room and crushed the hopes of my patient. Yet it was one of the most compassionate events I witnessed during my residency. The patient was discharged to hospice later that day.

That patient was an early 60 something frail female with cancer throughout her body. It doesn’t matter what type. It was everywhere. She was in the intensive care unit with tubes draining both kidneys and a tube draining her stool due to the largest tumor burden being in her pelvis. She was bleeding massively into one of the urinary tubes, so she was receiving multiple blood transfusions.

As you can imagine, she had a deadly infection. She also had elevated calcium, so she had another large tube in her neck giving fluids and drugs to treat this as well. Minutes before the discussion with the surgeon, she had begged me to “give her a chance to live.” She said she understood the risks of the surgery and wanted to proceed with “whatever the surgeon wanted to do to help.”

But she didn’t understand the risks of the surgery. She didn’t understand the limits of modern medicine. She wanted a miracle. She believed the media’s portrayal of medical advances. She also believed in the media’s portrayal of fighting for her life. She believed that being completely submissive to medical treatments is how you’re supposed to fight for your life.

The surgeon removed this burden. He could have agreed to the hero role and further decimated her body. But in his humble curtness, he understood his own limitations; he understood medicine’s limitations. He may not have said it kindly, but his intent was pure compassion. He was the only one who had the power to stop the torture. Or was he?

He wasn’t. The patient was fully competent and autonomous. Or was she? The patient could have said stop at any time. But the problem with patient decision-making lies in what was mentioned previously: Patients’ perceptions are shaped through what they’re exposed to. Despite my best efforts to paint a truthful picture to the patient, I was no match for years of exposure to media’s medical miracles.

The question is: Who’s right? Is the media right for teaching us to expect medical miracles? Or is this surgeon right for being realistic?

All I can say is this: That’s the surgeon I want taking care of my mom.

Justin Reno is a family physician.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Culture influences end of life decisions

August 5, 2015 Kevin 2
…
Next

Children with cancer are the real superheroes

August 6, 2015 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Surgery

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Culture influences end of life decisions
Next Post >
Children with cancer are the real superheroes

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Justin Reno, MD

  • I don’t know if this test will save your life

    Justin Reno, MD
  • If you’re obeying the law, you’re contributing to CEOs’ astronomical salaries

    Justin Reno, MD
  • What this family physician learned from his dog

    Justin Reno, MD

Related Posts

  • Why health care replaced physician care

    Michael Weiss, MD
  • How social media can help or hurt your health care career

    Health eCareers
  • More physician responsibility for patient care

    Michael R. McGuire
  • Health care needs more physician CEOs

    Alexi Nazem, MD
  • Denying payment for emergency care: a physician defends insurers

    Michael Kirsch, MD
  • The health care system will cause its own physician shortage

    Advait Suvarnakar and Aashka Suvarnakar

More in Physician

  • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

    Patrick Hudson, MD
  • Why compassion—not credentials—defines great doctors

    Dr. Saad S. Alshohaib
  • Why Canada is losing its skilled immigrant doctors

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

    Maureen Gibbons, MD
  • Why screening for diseases you might have can backfire

    Andy Lazris, MD and Alan Roth, DO
  • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

    Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • How community paramedicine impacts Indigenous elders

      Noah Weinberg | Conditions
    • A physician’s reflection on love, loss, and finding meaning in grief [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • A physician’s reflection on love, loss, and finding meaning in grief [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How fragmented records and poor tracking degrade patient outcomes

      Michael R. McGuire | Policy
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • How I learned to stop worrying and love AI

      Rajeev Dutta | Education
    • Understanding depression beyond biology: the power of therapy and meaning

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • Why compassion—not credentials—defines great doctors

      Dr. Saad S. Alshohaib | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 3 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • How community paramedicine impacts Indigenous elders

      Noah Weinberg | Conditions
    • A physician’s reflection on love, loss, and finding meaning in grief [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • A physician’s reflection on love, loss, and finding meaning in grief [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How fragmented records and poor tracking degrade patient outcomes

      Michael R. McGuire | Policy
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • How I learned to stop worrying and love AI

      Rajeev Dutta | Education
    • Understanding depression beyond biology: the power of therapy and meaning

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • Why compassion—not credentials—defines great doctors

      Dr. Saad S. Alshohaib | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The surgeon I want taking care of my mother
3 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...