Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

A frazzled doctor finally learns how to relax

Edwin Leap, MD
Physician
November 2, 2016
Share
Tweet
Share

I’m in the midst of a run of shifts in the emergency department. I’m doing locums away from home. Last night, I left work at about 3:30 a.m. (My shift was 6 p.m. to 2 a.m.) It was busy — not “crazy busy,” just “normal busy.” I finished my last note, wrapped up the information about the one patient I was leaving behind with the valiant night doctor and headed out.

Sometimes it feels as if all of the decision making, dispositions and discussions leave me overwhelmed. I’m sure I’m not alone here. We query, examine, order, report, consult, discuss, cajole, argue, consult, conclude, admit, discharge and all the rest over our eight to 12 hours of patient care. That’s a lot of interaction.

Thus, walking out of the double doors into the warm June night was delightful. It was a relief. And best of all — it was quiet. I crossed the parking lot to my car and drove a short distance to the hotel where I was staying. I played the radio because I was fatigued. But when I stepped out of the car, even in the confines of the city, I was met by a cool breeze. Oh, delight!

I took my things to my room down the quiet hall. I couldn’t resist! I walked back outside and sat on a bench. There was still a cool breeze, precious in the Southern summer. I looked at the crescent of the moon over the city and listened to the cars on the nearby highway.

Nobody asked me to look at an EKG, enter an order, plan a discharge, write a prescription, close a wound or make any sort of decision at all. It was simply quiet.

It’s a rarity in the world of medicine. No, it’s a rarity in the modern world. We are never farther away from the press of mankind than the phone in our pockets. Arguments, news (good and bad), discussions, work, duties and forms are all waiting for our addicted eyes to look from the moon to the web. And how often, electronics aside, do we separate ourselves from our fellow men and women and simply enjoy solitude?

It is for this reason that, on certain night shifts that are slower, I have been known to wander the halls of hospitals. My footfall in empty hallways, the closed doors and darkened offices are a reassurance that — at some point — rest and sleep are out there. Even if I’m not sleeping, someone is.

It reminds me of this quote:

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Blaise Pascal.

Certainly, much of man’s unhappiness stems from never being able, being allowed, to sit quietly in a room alone.

I slept. Tonight I work again, 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. Whatever. I only hope that I can carry the moon, the breeze and the quiet with me.

And that they will be there for me again tonight — hopefully at 2 a.m. rather than 3 a.m. But, I’ll take what I can get.

May you have times of precious solitude as well.

Edwin Leap is an emergency physician who blogs at edwinleap.com and is the author of the Practice Test and Life in Emergistan.  

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credit: Shutterstock.com 

Prev

A physician's compassion well has run dry

November 2, 2016 Kevin 6
…
Next

Are we losing our boys in medicine?

November 2, 2016 Kevin 14
…

Tagged as: Emergency Medicine

Post navigation

< Previous Post
A physician's compassion well has run dry
Next Post >
Are we losing our boys in medicine?

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Edwin Leap, MD

  • The emergency department crisis: Why patient boarding is dangerous

    Edwin Leap, MD
  • Hospitals at a breaking point: Lack of staff and resources leave ERs in chaos

    Edwin Leap, MD
  • Trapped in a cauldron of suffering, medical staff are weary

    Edwin Leap, MD

Related Posts

  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Finding a new doctor is like dating

    R. Lynn Barnett
  • Doctor, how are you, really?

    Deborah Courtney
  • Be a human first and a doctor second

    Sarah Murad
  • Becoming a doctor is the epitome of delayed gratification

    Natasha Abadilla
  • International medical graduates ease the U.S. doctor shortage

    G. Richard Olds, MD

More in Physician

  • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

    Augusta Uwah, MD
  • How market forces fracture millennial physicians’ careers

    Shannon Meron, MD
  • Unity in primary care: Why I believe physicians and NPs/PAs must work together toward the same goal

    Jerina Gani, MD, MPH
  • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

    Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD
  • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • When life makes you depend on Depends

    Francisco M. Torres, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How hospitals can prepare for CMS’s new patient safety rule

      Kim Adelman, PhD | Conditions
    • Why palliative care is more than just end-of-life support

      Dr. Vishal Parackal | Conditions
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

      Augusta Uwah, MD | Physician
    • Universities must tap endowments to sustain biomedical research

      Adeel Khan, MD | Conditions
    • Exploring the science behind burnout [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Apprenticeship reshapes medical training for confident clinicians

      Claude E. Lett III, PA-C | Conditions
    • How American medicine profits from despair

      Jenny Shields, PhD | Policy

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How hospitals can prepare for CMS’s new patient safety rule

      Kim Adelman, PhD | Conditions
    • Why palliative care is more than just end-of-life support

      Dr. Vishal Parackal | Conditions
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

      Augusta Uwah, MD | Physician
    • Universities must tap endowments to sustain biomedical research

      Adeel Khan, MD | Conditions
    • Exploring the science behind burnout [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Apprenticeship reshapes medical training for confident clinicians

      Claude E. Lett III, PA-C | Conditions
    • How American medicine profits from despair

      Jenny Shields, PhD | Policy

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

A frazzled doctor finally learns how to relax
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...