Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Doctor mom, remember that it is all worth it

Uchenna O. Njiaju, MD
Physician
December 5, 2016
Share
Tweet
Share

Dear doctor mom,

I’ve been a physician for 13 years.  For the past 7 years, I have also been a mom.  A growing number of experiences made me decide to write this letter.  I hope other moms don’t attack me.  I do not mean to downplay their struggles, or to insinuate that doctor moms necessarily all have a harder time compared to other moms.  I only focus on you, because I am like you, and I can relate to your struggles.  I write about what I know.

Doctor mom, remember there was a time when women could not be admitted to medical school.  Think of the struggles it took, for women like Elizabeth Blackwell and Rebecca Lee Crumpler to make their way and achieve their dreams.

Yes, doctor mom, there is no denying that you are a different kind of mom.

Consider those events at school, the realization that you need several weeks notice to make it to a Thanksgiving party, or Mother Goose rhyme recital, or even a Mother’s Day brunch.

Consider when you happened to have a day off work during the week, the shock and awe in your child’s voice when she says, “Mommy, you didn’t go to work today?  What about the sick people?”

Consider the excitement in your child’s face, when he walks into the house after school bus drop off, and sees you home, at about 4 p.m. on a weekday.

Consider the phone calls and text pages that you have to answer at home sometimes, particularly when on call.  Consider when you have to leave the house after dinner to go back to the hospital, instead of reading bedtime stories.

Consider the birthdays and other party invitations that come, and the realization that you are on call so the weekend is busy and kids may not be able to attend.

Consider the caution you have to exercise in explaining that “maybe Mommy will come to school for an event, but only if she can, and if she can’t, remember it’s OK, because Mommy loves you anyway.”

Consider the look of disappointment on your child’s face, when you tell her that you suddenly cannot drop her at school this morning, because “there is someone very sick and Mommy needs to go and help them feel better.”

Nonetheless, consider the joy of realizing that you are raising a child who will be comfortable with balancing career and family life, knowing that it is entirely feasible with planning and some support.

When you feel overburdened and exhausted, remember that we stand on the shoulders of giants.  Remember the legacy you are leaving for your daughters, by being ever present in medicine. Remember the unique joys that come with your unique position.  Consider the pride in your child’s face when he says his tummy hurts.  You are able to quickly place them on a couch, palpate their belly and listen with a stethoscope.  You are able to assess the situation and determine if it’s constipation, or something more serious that needs the ER.  Your child goes to school the next day, and you hear him speaking to a friend at drop off.  He says, “My belly hurts yesterday, and my mommy made it better; my mom is a doctor, she listened with a stethoscope.” Although he can barely say the word, it is music to your ears.  You feel like all your efforts do matter, that your young child appreciates that.

Think of the pride your child will have when they grow old enough to understand, when they realize how much effort and dedication it took for your to balance life and work.  Think of how they will be encouraged to realize that nothing is impossible, that even the sky is not the limit.

ADVERTISEMENT

Doctor mom, remember that it is all worth it.

Uchenna O. Njiaju is a hematologist-oncologist who blogs at Erica OncMD.  She can be reached on Twitter @ericaoncmd.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

An American doctor experiences UK emergency care firsthand

December 5, 2016 Kevin 5
…
Next

Medicine isn’t just about accuracy and efficiency

December 5, 2016 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
An American doctor experiences UK emergency care firsthand
Next Post >
Medicine isn’t just about accuracy and efficiency

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Uchenna O. Njiaju, MD

  • COVID-19 is a crucial part of our individual medical career stories

    Uchenna O. Njiaju, MD
  • Dos and don’ts for patients who consult Dr. Google

    Uchenna O. Njiaju, MD
  • Before my first job, I wish someone had told me a few things

    Uchenna O. Njiaju, MD

Related Posts

  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Finding a new doctor is like dating

    R. Lynn Barnett
  • Doctor, how are you, really?

    Deborah Courtney
  • Be a human first and a doctor second

    Sarah Murad
  • Becoming a doctor is the epitome of delayed gratification

    Natasha Abadilla
  • International medical graduates ease the U.S. doctor shortage

    G. Richard Olds, MD

More in Physician

  • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

    Augusta Uwah, MD
  • How market forces fracture millennial physicians’ careers

    Shannon Meron, MD
  • Unity in primary care: Why I believe physicians and NPs/PAs must work together toward the same goal

    Jerina Gani, MD, MPH
  • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

    Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD
  • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • When life makes you depend on Depends

    Francisco M. Torres, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why palliative care is more than just end-of-life support

      Dr. Vishal Parackal | Conditions
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How denial of hypertension endangers lives and what doctors can do

      Dr. Aminat O. Akintola | Conditions
    • A powerful story of addiction, strength, and redemption

      Ryan McCarthy, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Why doctors should rethink investing compared to the average U.S. investor [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How chronic stress harms the heart in minority communities

      Monzur Morshed, MD and Kaysan Morshed | Conditions
    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

      Augusta Uwah, MD | Physician
    • Universities must tap endowments to sustain biomedical research

      Adeel Khan, MD | Conditions
    • Exploring the science behind burnout [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why palliative care is more than just end-of-life support

      Dr. Vishal Parackal | Conditions
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How denial of hypertension endangers lives and what doctors can do

      Dr. Aminat O. Akintola | Conditions
    • A powerful story of addiction, strength, and redemption

      Ryan McCarthy, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Why doctors should rethink investing compared to the average U.S. investor [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How chronic stress harms the heart in minority communities

      Monzur Morshed, MD and Kaysan Morshed | Conditions
    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

      Augusta Uwah, MD | Physician
    • Universities must tap endowments to sustain biomedical research

      Adeel Khan, MD | Conditions
    • Exploring the science behind burnout [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...