Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
KevinMD
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking
KevinMD
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking
  • About KevinMD | Kevin Pho, MD
  • Be heard on social media’s leading physician voice
  • Contact Kevin
  • Discounted enhanced author page
  • DMCA Policy
  • Establishing, Managing, and Protecting Your Online Reputation: A Social Media Guide for Physicians and Medical Practices
  • Group vs. individual disability insurance for doctors: pros and cons
  • KevinMD influencer opportunities
  • Opinion and commentary by KevinMD
  • Physician burnout speakers to keynote your conference
  • Physician Coaching by KevinMD
  • Physician keynote speaker: Kevin Pho, MD
  • Physician Speaking by KevinMD: a boutique speakers bureau
  • Primary care physician in Nashua, NH | Doctor accepting new patients
  • Privacy Policy
  • Recommended services by KevinMD
  • Terms of Use Agreement
  • Thank you for subscribing to KevinMD
  • Thank you for upgrading to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • The biggest mistake doctors make when purchasing disability insurance
  • The doctor’s guide to disability insurance: short-term vs. long-term
  • The KevinMD ToolKit
  • Upgrade to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • Why own-occupation disability insurance is a must for doctors

Genuine empathy goes a long way

Philip DeGaetano, MD
Physician
December 17, 2018
Share
Tweet
Share

Not including residency, I have been caring for patients for five years. But was I really caring about them? We all took the oath to do no harm. We all began our journey into medicine with intentions to make a difference in patient’s lives. But sometimes our intentions erode. We become jaded. We listen to disgruntled counterparts tell us how medicine used to be.

It’s true. We missed the boat. Our freedom as physicians has diminished. We work to pay off our student debt, and we sign contracts restricting the areas where we can practice. Our patients should not suffer because of this.

About a year ago I began to question my empathy toward my patients. It’s easy to tell yourself that you are empathetic, and even it’s easier to pretend. I felt as if I was doing enough to convince the patient and myself that I cared. The great reviews I received fed my belief that I was a compassionate physician, but I knew it wasn’t completely genuine.

I began to give myself a pep talk every day on the drive to work. I pictured myself in an exam room with a patient and genuinely listening to what they were saying, not just teasing out what I needed to hear. I started to consider myself as the patient’s last resort. If I could not help them, then who would? For many without insurance, this is the case.

Each patient I saw, no matter how rushed for time, I would put myself in their shoes. If a patient came in upset, I would try to find out why. I would picture my mother sitting on the exam table and feel guilty if I didn’t treat the patient the same way as I would her. It’s amazing how many new questions naturally arise from a genuine conversation and not a medical interview. What is more amazing is what you find out about the patient and how it directly dictates your plan of care.

It took practice, but today I feel more genuine as a physician than I ever did before. I don’t have that pep talk driving to work anymore, but I still remind myself throughout the day to care. The results have been great. As an urgent care physician, having a patient ask for you to be a primary care physician, is the ultimate compliment. Also, I have been able to correctly diagnose and treat patients more often. I have led fewer patients to the emergency room unnecessarily, and I have looked up more pathology than ever before.

You did not land in medicine because you do not care, but maybe the stress of the industry has gotten to you. Don’t be like the rest, be your patient’s last resort. Listen to their story and understand why they came for your help. Maybe you don’t think you have enough time in the rooms to care like this, but you do. It’s a little tweak in the way you practice that makes a difference in the lives of the patients and your own.

Philip DeGaetano is a family physician who blogs at FastPass Medicine and can be reached on Twitter @FastPassMedici1.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Are scribes the solution to our documentation woes?

December 17, 2018 Kevin 22
…
Next

How doctors can distinguish themselves in a data-driven world

December 17, 2018 Kevin 3
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

< Previous Post
Are scribes the solution to our documentation woes?
Next Post >
How doctors can distinguish themselves in a data-driven world

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Philip DeGaetano, MD

  • Net promoter scoring needs to be tweaked for medicine

    Philip DeGaetano, MD

Related Posts

  • Why health care replaced physician care

    Michael Weiss, MD
  • The medical student who had a genuine human profile

    DrizzleMD
  • The dangers of selective empathy

    Anonymous
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • More physician responsibility for patient care

    Michael R. McGuire
  • Empathy is better felt than defined

    Brian Schnettgoecke

More in Physician

  • Why a chief wellness officer hid her medication use for 13 years

    Michael F. Myers, MD
  • Physician patient advocacy: Fighting insurance denials effectively

    Neil Baum, MD
  • Health care’s Upside Down: Addressing systemic dysfunction and burnout

    Ganesh Asaithambi, MD, MBA
  • In the age of AI, what makes a physician REAL?

    Harvey Castro, MD, MBA
  • The cost of clinician absence in the boardroom: a 30-year perspective

    Christopher Mastino, MD
  • My wife wants me to retire

    Sandy Brown, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Sabbaticals provide a critical lifeline for sustainable medical careers [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why Medicare must cover atrial fibrillation screening to prevent strokes

      Radhesh K. Gupta | Conditions
    • The American Board of Internal Medicine maintenance of certification lawsuit: What physicians need to know

      Brian Hudes, MD | Physician
    • Teaching joy transforms the future of medical practice [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Mobile wound care in 2026: Navigating regulatory pressures

      John F. Curtis IV, MD | Conditions
    • When language becomes the barrier: IMGs and autism diagnoses

      Ronald L. Lindsay, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • What is the minority tax in medicine?

      Tharini Nagarkar and Maranda C. Ward, EdD, MPH | Education
    • Why the U.S. health care system is failing patients and physicians

      John C. Hagan III, MD | Policy
    • Alex Pretti: a physician’s open letter defending his legacy

      Mousson Berrouet, DO | Physician
    • Health care as a human right vs. commodity: Resolving the paradox

      Timothy Lesaca, MD | Physician
    • Why voicemail in outpatient care is failing patients and staff

      Dan Ouellet | Tech
    • The elephant in the room: Why physician burnout is a relationship problem

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Mobile wound care in 2026: Navigating regulatory pressures

      John F. Curtis IV, MD | Conditions
    • Why smaller hospitals may be faster for cancer diagnosis

      Gerald Kuo | Conditions
    • Missed diagnosis visceral leishmaniasis: a tragedy of note bloat

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Conditions
    • Mifepristone restrictions: How bans force patients into riskier care

      John Finnie-Maloney | Conditions
    • Pediatric care in Ghana: Addressing malnutrition and sickle cell disease

      Benedicta Yayra Adu-Parku | Conditions
    • Sabbaticals provide a critical lifeline for sustainable medical careers [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 4 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Sabbaticals provide a critical lifeline for sustainable medical careers [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why Medicare must cover atrial fibrillation screening to prevent strokes

      Radhesh K. Gupta | Conditions
    • The American Board of Internal Medicine maintenance of certification lawsuit: What physicians need to know

      Brian Hudes, MD | Physician
    • Teaching joy transforms the future of medical practice [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Mobile wound care in 2026: Navigating regulatory pressures

      John F. Curtis IV, MD | Conditions
    • When language becomes the barrier: IMGs and autism diagnoses

      Ronald L. Lindsay, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • What is the minority tax in medicine?

      Tharini Nagarkar and Maranda C. Ward, EdD, MPH | Education
    • Why the U.S. health care system is failing patients and physicians

      John C. Hagan III, MD | Policy
    • Alex Pretti: a physician’s open letter defending his legacy

      Mousson Berrouet, DO | Physician
    • Health care as a human right vs. commodity: Resolving the paradox

      Timothy Lesaca, MD | Physician
    • Why voicemail in outpatient care is failing patients and staff

      Dan Ouellet | Tech
    • The elephant in the room: Why physician burnout is a relationship problem

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Mobile wound care in 2026: Navigating regulatory pressures

      John F. Curtis IV, MD | Conditions
    • Why smaller hospitals may be faster for cancer diagnosis

      Gerald Kuo | Conditions
    • Missed diagnosis visceral leishmaniasis: a tragedy of note bloat

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Conditions
    • Mifepristone restrictions: How bans force patients into riskier care

      John Finnie-Maloney | Conditions
    • Pediatric care in Ghana: Addressing malnutrition and sickle cell disease

      Benedicta Yayra Adu-Parku | Conditions
    • Sabbaticals provide a critical lifeline for sustainable medical careers [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today

Copyright © 2026 KevinMD.com | Powered by Astra WordPress Theme

  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Genuine empathy goes a long way
4 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...